Stanlarnpas is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind faun.

Stanlarnpas created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanlarnpas, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stanlarnpas, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stanlarnpas' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Stanlarnpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always treat badgers with great respect.

5. Never talk about optics near geese while wearing turquoise hats.