Cebneljon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty deer.

Cebneljon created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebneljon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cebneljon, she will strike you with lightening.

Cebneljon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cebneljon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

3. Never travel toward the east during spring.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

Dincarraw is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain salamander.

Dincarraw created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dincarraw, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dincarraw, it will torture you forever.

Dincarraw's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dincarraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Dincarraw on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing fawn boots.

Kendumrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy swan.

Kendumrutt created the Andromeda Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Kendumrutt, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kendumrutt, he will turn you into a plant.

Kendumrutt's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kendumrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Kendumrutt loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

5. Always remove kilts before touching lead.

Quamrill is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witty bee.

Quamrill created viruses six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamrill, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quamrill, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Quamrill's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Quamrill's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never touch blood while blessed.

3. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

4. Always store garlic above ground.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Vogbellnur is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet mouse.

Vogbellnur created the world five million years ago.

If you believe in Vogbellnur, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vogbellnur, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vogbellnur's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vogbellnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

3. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

4. Never stain your back with blue.

5. Do not prepare peanuts while wearing jumpers.

Buningxem is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, proud weasel.

Buningxem created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Buningxem, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Buningxem, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Buningxem's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Buningxem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Bossvoncisspad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, ruthless hyena.

Bossvoncisspad created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Bossvoncisspad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bossvoncisspad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bossvoncisspad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bossvoncisspad's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

2. Never mix bananas with ash.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing violet ear rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your feet.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Lamgenkan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless hedgehog.

Lamgenkan created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamgenkan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lamgenkan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lamgenkan's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Lamgenkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near grasshopers while wearing purple kilts and balancing five tin spheres on your legs.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

5. Never whisper while facing south.