Tofciss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, clever alligator.

Tofciss created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofciss, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tofciss, it will turn you into a rat.

Tofciss' most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tofciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Never sit near badgers.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Never speak at dawn.

Sitarpbid is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, flying wren.

Sitarpbid created the Large Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Sitarpbid, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sitarpbid, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sitarpbid's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Sitarpbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant at mountains.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never wear fawn dresses on sacred days.

5. Do not speak about apples.

Sandtonzod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, witty chicken.

Sandtonzod created the Whirlpool Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sandtonzod, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sandtonzod, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sandtonzod's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Sandtonzod's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sandtonzod.

3. Never speak aloud of names.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Always wear gray.

Danyaksis is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy dolphin.

Danyaksis created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danyaksis, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Danyaksis, she will think nothing of it.

Danyaksis' most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Danyaksis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

3. Always remove tights before touching lead.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Do not sit at mountains.

Flapdidlik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, flying yak.

Flapdidlik created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapdidlik, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flapdidlik, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flapdidlik's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Flapdidlik's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never chant while facing south.

4. Always help monkeys in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flapdidlik.

Catcibbast is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-confident crocodile.

Catcibbast created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catcibbast, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Catcibbast, he will try to impress you with trees.

Catcibbast's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Catcibbast's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never gather seven foxes in one place.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Shun those given to greed.

Wegtaront is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying sheep.

Wegtaront created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegtaront, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wegtaront, he will turn you into a mole.

Wegtaront's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Wegtaront's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats in need.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

Dimratbug Baf is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tranquil human.

Dimratbug Baf created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dimratbug Baf, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dimratbug Baf, it will curse you with boils.

Dimratbug Baf's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dimratbug Baf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dimratbug Baf.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never travel toward the south during spring.

5. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.