Ruldogkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, confident troll.

Ruldogkab created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruldogkab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ruldogkab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ruldogkab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ruldogkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn stockings on sacred days.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Ruldogkab first in all things.

5. Do not wear boots marked with brown.

Sindanyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, compassionate goat.

Sindanyarl created the Virgo Supercluster eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sindanyarl, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sindanyarl, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sindanyarl's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Sindanyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.

Vagpigbod Yatraw is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, omnipotent scorpion.

Vagpigbod Yatraw created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagpigbod Yatraw, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vagpigbod Yatraw, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vagpigbod Yatraw's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vagpigbod Yatraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near mice while wearing violet tights and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Never paint your arms white.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Jinstergar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witless manatee.

Jinstergar created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinstergar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jinstergar, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jinstergar's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jinstergar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.

Rullpakcin Mispodmet is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical cobra.

Rullpakcin Mispodmet created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rullpakcin Mispodmet, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Rullpakcin Mispodmet, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Rullpakcin Mispodmet's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Rullpakcin Mispodmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during spring.

2. Do not prepare apples while filled with fear.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never look in ponds.

Bissnatbum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating centaur.

Bissnatbum created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnatbum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissnatbum, it will turn you into a worm.

Bissnatbum's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bissnatbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bissnatbum's priests.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing violet dresses and balancing five lead spheres on your head.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.

Flighudfoss Bagcadsig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonourable turtle.

Flighudfoss Bagcadsig created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flighudfoss Bagcadsig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flighudfoss Bagcadsig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flighudfoss Bagcadsig's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Flighudfoss Bagcadsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

2. Do not place cucumbers upon stone.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never eat bark.

Megpaknil Hamxucjab is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, ruthless walrus.

Megpaknil Hamxucjab created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megpaknil Hamxucjab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Megpaknil Hamxucjab, he will laugh at you.

Megpaknil Hamxucjab's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Megpaknil Hamxucjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Never wear turquoise stockings.

3. Erect four silicon sculptures of Megpaknil Hamxucjab on top of important buildings.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Never eat green fruit.