Dudhudbig is a god.

It takes the form of a small, stupid turtle.

Dudhudbig created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudhudbig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dudhudbig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dudhudbig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dudhudbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Never paint your arms white.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always remove boots before touching silicon.

5. Never feed garlic to gulls while wearing cyan trousers.

Habget is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, flying alligator.

Habget created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Habget, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Habget, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Habget's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Habget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Never mix bananas with ash.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.

Cenxucquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a large, bad-tempered toad.

Cenxucquaf created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenxucquaf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cenxucquaf, it will laugh at you.

Cenxucquaf's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Cenxucquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not prepare melons while wearing kilts.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Worship no other gods but Cenxucquaf.

Badfarnstik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical finch.

Badfarnstik created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Badfarnstik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Badfarnstik, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Badfarnstik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Badfarnstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Never think ill of sick snails.

4. Run away if eight sharks approach from the east.

5. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

Hadflatrak is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, clever cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hadflatrak created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadflatrak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hadflatrak, she will throw large rocks at you.

Hadflatrak's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hadflatrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing kilts.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not prepare lemons while filled with anger.

Yattanfig Talwad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, benevolent hyena.

Yattanfig Talwad created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattanfig Talwad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattanfig Talwad, it will turn you into a slug.

Yattanfig Talwad's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Yattanfig Talwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Do not listen to music.

Stafpangquag is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable centaur.

Stafpangquag created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Stafpangquag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stafpangquag, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Stafpangquag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Stafpangquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never travel toward the north during winter.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

Fadlabfun is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish elephant.

Fadlabfun created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadlabfun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fadlabfun, he will turn you into a rock.

Fadlabfun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Fadlabfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not cook food in pots.