Hasflyced is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonest hippopotamus.

Hasflyced created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasflyced, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hasflyced, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hasflyced's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hasflyced's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap near bats.

2. Never record names.

3. Do not study archaea on holy days.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.

Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful toad.

Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin, he will turn you into a rock.

Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ditsincar Cet Cadkopvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to seven before sleeping.

2. Never paint your head red.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Govwabhan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited dragonfly.

Govwabhan created the Black Eye Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govwabhan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Govwabhan, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Govwabhan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Govwabhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Govwabhan.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Govwabhan on top of all buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Govwabhan.

Quamrilciss is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, merciless aardvark.

Quamrilciss created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quamrilciss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamrilciss, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Quamrilciss' most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Quamrilciss' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamrilciss.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear hats marked with green.

Parkbogdob is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, dishonest hamster.

Parkbogdob created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkbogdob, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkbogdob, she will turn you into a frog.

Parkbogdob's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Parkbogdob's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not prepare spinach while filled with fear.

5. Never feed lots of figs to dogs while wearing indigo jumpers.

Bepvagbonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless horse.

Bepvagbonk created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepvagbonk, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bepvagbonk, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bepvagbonk's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bepvagbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Bepvagbonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never feed lots of nuts to goats while wearing cyan scarves.

4. Run away from blue great tits, for they are unholy.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humane jaguar.

Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran, it will not care.

Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kinlarghapmetjenfatcanran's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sheep with great respect.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near swans while wearing orange hats and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

Dussquamloop is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, almighty dugong.

Dussquamloop created a down quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dussquamloop, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dussquamloop, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dussquamloop's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dussquamloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never mark doors with purple.