Vagcepwat is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, witty dugong.

Vagcepwat created the planet Mars two million years ago.

If you believe in Vagcepwat, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vagcepwat, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vagcepwat's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Vagcepwat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Never mix coconuts with water.

5. Do not listen to music.

Cubmotcim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful wombat.

Cubmotcim created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubmotcim, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Cubmotcim, it will not care.

Cubmotcim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cubmotcim's Holy Commandments

1. Cubmotcim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with voles.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never wear black ear rings.

Badkanhak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying salamander.

Badkanhak created bats four years ago.

If you believe in Badkanhak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Badkanhak, she will turn you into a puffin.

Badkanhak's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Badkanhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place cucumbers upon stone.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Erect five nickel sculptures of Badkanhak on top of important buildings.

5. Do not resist balance.

Dam Quafdimnur is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered ferret.

Dam Quafdimnur created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dam Quafdimnur, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dam Quafdimnur, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dam Quafdimnur's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Dam Quafdimnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never adorn your head with green markings.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

Genyamciss is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain wyrm.

Genyamciss created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genyamciss, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Genyamciss, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Genyamciss' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Genyamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Genyamciss loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Never laugh in autumn.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Quartnig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, quiet whale.

Quartnig created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartnig, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quartnig, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quartnig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Quartnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Do not place beans upon stone.

Gofhubzod is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless goblin.

Gofhubzod created the Black Eye Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhubzod, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gofhubzod, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gofhubzod's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gofhubzod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sharks.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to dolphins while wearing black kilts.

3. Do not jump at mountains.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never laugh in the presence of sheep.

Hivhuglit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, astonishing hamster.

Hivhuglit created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hivhuglit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivhuglit, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hivhuglit's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hivhuglit's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silicon while unclean.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not record names concerning dwarf planets.