Yogdotgom is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, resourceful lion.

Yogdotgom created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogdotgom, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yogdotgom, she will turn you into a slug.

Yogdotgom's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Yogdotgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to rats while wearing yellow shirts.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Never think about thermodynamics.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, slow eagle.

Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine dolphins near towers.

2. Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Xuctinmiplarptonk Sinfasdavtof in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

Gutditbarnbum is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, all-knowing seal.

Gutditbarnbum created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutditbarnbum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gutditbarnbum, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gutditbarnbum's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gutditbarnbum's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gutditbarnbum.

2. Always remove coats before touching aluminium.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

Farwanyik is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced jellyfish.

Farwanyik created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farwanyik, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farwanyik, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Farwanyik's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Farwanyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never hurt whales.

Cimcambest Veenwonbug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cimcambest Veenwonbug created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cimcambest Veenwonbug, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cimcambest Veenwonbug, he will strike you with lightening.

Cimcambest Veenwonbug's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cimcambest Veenwonbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always take life seriously.

Pibbidlargved is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthinking butterfly.

Pibbidlargved created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibbidlargved, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pibbidlargved, she will ignore you.

Pibbidlargved's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Pibbidlargved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always maintain purity during fasting days.

Hudvigjab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, prudent goose.

Hudvigjab created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudvigjab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hudvigjab, it will curse you with boils.

Hudvigjab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Hudvigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cherries during winter.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always remove jumpers before touching copper.

5. Fast once a month.

Niblagcib is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous alligator.

Niblagcib created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Niblagcib, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Niblagcib, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Niblagcib's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Niblagcib's Holy Commandments

1. Niblagcib loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Never mark doors with yellow.

3. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Niblagcib on top of important buildings.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.

5. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.