Koptar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate clam.

Koptar created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koptar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Koptar, it will strike you with lightening.

Koptar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Koptar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

4. Koptar loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Dimbafdadhad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, boastful seal.

Dimbafdadhad created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimbafdadhad, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dimbafdadhad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Dimbafdadhad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dimbafdadhad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not wear dresses marked with gray.

4. Never record names.

5. Never speak at midnight.

Sakvandoss is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, resourceful wasp.

Sakvandoss created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakvandoss, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sakvandoss, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Sakvandoss' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Sakvandoss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Retreat if six whales approach from the west.

Dutrap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, wise dryad.

Dutrap created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Dutrap, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dutrap, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Dutrap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Dutrap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Bumziggut is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, strong naga.

Bumziggut created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumziggut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bumziggut, it will turn you into a rock.

Bumziggut's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bumziggut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Never mark doors with white.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Learn six new languages a year.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless cat.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to horses while wearing dresses.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Venfarnbut is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing bird.

Venfarnbut created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venfarnbut, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Venfarnbut, it will throw large rocks at you.

Venfarnbut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Venfarnbut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful hippopotamus.

Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok, she will destroy your favourite star.

Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok on top of all buildings.

3. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Femmonpopmat Yikrawyatt Cedbassyok in the centre of the settlement.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.