Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, contented gnu.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Spagdissbaf Vangodcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

2. Never bounce in summer.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Nutt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing bear.

Nutt created an atom five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutt, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nutt, he will cry a lot.

Nutt's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about nebulae.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Never handle tin while unclean.

5. Always take life seriously.

Kinziggud is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful hedgehog.

Kinziggud created water seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinziggud, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kinziggud, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kinziggud's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Kinziggud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing rings.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Never mix carrots with blood.

4. Never handle platinum while unclean.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, smart zebra.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Davlargyam Poggamdot Ragxemquim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never mark doors with mauve.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

Benyokbug is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, witless cow.

Benyokbug created the planet Venus six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benyokbug, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Benyokbug, she will turn you into a puffin.

Benyokbug's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Benyokbug's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Benyokbug.

2. Do not keep six nematodes in a large pit.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Loopvidfuthattarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, self-assured jellyfish.

Loopvidfuthattarp created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvidfuthattarp, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Loopvidfuthattarp, it will boil you in a big pot.

Loopvidfuthattarp's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Loopvidfuthattarp's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopvidfuthattarp.

2. Do not consume grapes at dawn.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Loopvidfuthattarp in the centre of the settlement.

4. You must pray to Loopvidfuthattarp six times a day.

5. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

Jinripflabnarlogsag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, sage camel.

Jinripflabnarlogsag created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinripflabnarlogsag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jinripflabnarlogsag, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jinripflabnarlogsag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jinripflabnarlogsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three hamsters in one place.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

5. Do not kill doves.

Bog Dogpomwat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental goose.

Bog Dogpomwat created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bog Dogpomwat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bog Dogpomwat, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bog Dogpomwat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bog Dogpomwat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Retreat if seven geese approach from the west.

5. Do not gather at walls at midnight.