Stikquamrill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, contented snail.

Stikquamrill created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikquamrill, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Stikquamrill, she will turn you into a worm.

Stikquamrill's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stikquamrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near goats while wearing red shorts.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a room before entering it.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Never think about comets.

Capcapont is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, passionate goat.

Capcapont created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Capcapont, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Capcapont, it will remove you from existence.

Capcapont's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Capcapont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit at forests.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Capcapont in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always share spinach with strangers, but never with mites.

5. Never eat bananas.

Vegkemlam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, capable elephant.

Vegkemlam created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vegkemlam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vegkemlam, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vegkemlam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Vegkemlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of bread to mice while wearing green jumpers.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Retreat if five gulls approach from the south.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.

Renbabont is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous meerkat.

Renbabont created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Renbabont, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Renbabont, it will turn you into a tree.

Renbabont's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Renbabont's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

2. Never gather four squirrels near towers.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

Nellhitbun is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical dragon.

Nellhitbun created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellhitbun, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellhitbun, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Nellhitbun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Nellhitbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons on holy days.

2. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

3. Never approach forests carrying clay.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent dolphin.

Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen, he will turn you into a snail.

Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Tafbestfubqueegomingilcadveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not speak about apples.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never record signs.

Getren is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish mole.

Getren created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Getren, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Getren, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Getren's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Getren's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about rats.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Never eat carrots on days of mourning.

Gabjapomt is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omnipotent duck.

Gabjapomt created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabjapomt, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gabjapomt, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gabjapomt's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gabjapomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about spacetime near sheep while wearing white shirts and balancing five aluminium spheres on your chest.

5. Never play with disobedient children.