Bassnutben is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, prudent raven.

Bassnutben created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassnutben, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bassnutben, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Bassnutben's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bassnutben's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your arms with yellow markings.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bassnutben.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Run away if eight ants approach from the east.

Kancabvangess is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced dragon.

Kancabvangess created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kancabvangess, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kancabvangess, it will turn you into a goat.

Kancabvangess' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kancabvangess' Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks.

2. You must pray to Kancabvangess six times a day.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Never prepare garlic during autumn.

5. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

Sawnullged is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, awesome fairy.

Sawnullged created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Sawnullged, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sawnullged, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sawnullged's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sawnullged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Never think about gravity near seals while wearing mauve scarves and balancing nine zinc spheres on your back.

5. Never hurt voles.

Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate wyrm.

Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Nutvongomladnellcanhinsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Never wear gray ear rings.

3. Do not resist order.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think about planets.

Pogfedhiv Leggemnab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, moody dugong.

Pogfedhiv Leggemnab created the Virgo Supercluster three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pogfedhiv Leggemnab, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pogfedhiv Leggemnab, it will turn you into a rat.

Pogfedhiv Leggemnab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pogfedhiv Leggemnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare spinach while filled with joy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never record signs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not resist fate.

Yarllabzog is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, ill-tempered dragon.

Yarllabzog created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarllabzog, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarllabzog, he will destroy your home solar system.

Yarllabzog's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yarllabzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

4. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Nuthunkin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent ant.

Nuthunkin created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Nuthunkin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nuthunkin, it will not care at all.

Nuthunkin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nuthunkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never prepare nuts during summer.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Never handle lead while unclean.

5. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

Gonwikwig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful octopus.

Gonwikwig created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonwikwig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gonwikwig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gonwikwig's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gonwikwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at dusk.

2. Do not keep four bats in a large pit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never adorn your head with white markings.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gonwikwig in the centre of the settlement.