Jiptifxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, selfish salamander.

Jiptifxuc created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiptifxuc, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jiptifxuc, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jiptifxuc's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Jiptifxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Jiptifxuc in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never leap in the presence of dogs.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Always help voles.

Nutmifvag Davcubdib is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless skunk.

Nutmifvag Davcubdib created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nutmifvag Davcubdib, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nutmifvag Davcubdib, he will send you a sign.

Nutmifvag Davcubdib's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Nutmifvag Davcubdib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Put Nutmifvag Davcubdib first in all things.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Wotafzag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, strong cat.

Wotafzag created energy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wotafzag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wotafzag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wotafzag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Wotafzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not keep seven whales in a large pit.

Ditnarltun is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unfair dove.

Ditnarltun created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditnarltun, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditnarltun, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ditnarltun's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ditnarltun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Farnzodtigzimvanjab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, humane shark.

Farnzodtigzimvanjab created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnzodtigzimvanjab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Farnzodtigzimvanjab, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Farnzodtigzimvanjab's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Farnzodtigzimvanjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing blue dresses.

Vabdadcepmid is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, deceitful bird.

Vabdadcepmid created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabdadcepmid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Vabdadcepmid, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vabdadcepmid's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Vabdadcepmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.

Satwonnart is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, able jellyfish.

Satwonnart created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satwonnart, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Satwonnart, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Satwonnart's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Satwonnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Never feed lots of rice to snakes while wearing yellow shirts.

3. Hide from magenta ants for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Satwonnart in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about squirrels.

Larnlegren is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, benevolent clam.

Larnlegren created the Tadpole Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlegren, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larnlegren, it will manifest in front of you.

Larnlegren's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Larnlegren's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never eat cherries.

5. Never talk about dark energy near badgers while wearing brown skirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your head.