Figgeplanmotgid is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous deer.

Figgeplanmotgid created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figgeplanmotgid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Figgeplanmotgid, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Figgeplanmotgid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Figgeplanmotgid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear coats marked with purple.

2. Always help sheep.

3. Figgeplanmotgid loves bats, so they must be respected.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Tenxenshav is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ill-tempered lion.

Tenxenshav created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Tenxenshav, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tenxenshav, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tenxenshav's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Tenxenshav's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tenxenshav nine times a day.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Tenxenshav loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

Raplarpgut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring alligator.

Raplarpgut created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raplarpgut, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Raplarpgut, he will torture you forever.

Raplarpgut's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Raplarpgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with gray.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

Nuttvabstig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, amazing zebra.

Nuttvabstig created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvabstig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuttvabstig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nuttvabstig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nuttvabstig's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never mark doors with magenta.

4. Do not eat cherries.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Febmipfot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental octopus.

Febmipfot created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Febmipfot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Febmipfot, he will send minions to preach to you.

Febmipfot's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Febmipfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing cyan coats and balancing eight copper spheres on your back.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Febmipfot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never wear white rings.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Do not gather at doors at midday.

Budfotnar is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart wolf.

Budfotnar created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Budfotnar, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Budfotnar, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Budfotnar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Budfotnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

2. Never remain bowed at dusk.

3. Never prepare lentils during summer.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not keep seven ants in a large pit.

Fadhogtad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-confident human.

Fadhogtad created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadhogtad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fadhogtad, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Fadhogtad's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fadhogtad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Fadhogtad must be the most important thing in your life.

Cepripmon Kanzigwan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unjust lobster.

Cepripmon Kanzigwan created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cepripmon Kanzigwan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cepripmon Kanzigwan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Cepripmon Kanzigwan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cepripmon Kanzigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet tights on sacred days.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.