Benlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, fast turtle.

Benlarn created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Benlarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Benlarn, he will make you grow a tail.

Benlarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Benlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silver while unclean.

2. Never touch water while tainted.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Never prepare bread during summer.

5. Remain standing during prayer.

Wikyarptonk is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, self-assured toad.

Wikyarptonk created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikyarptonk, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wikyarptonk, he will destroy your home planet.

Wikyarptonk's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Wikyarptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Put Wikyarptonk first in all things.

3. Never fashion tools from wood.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help sick geese.

Gilwipdon is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous wombat.

Gilwipdon created a strange quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilwipdon, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gilwipdon, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gilwipdon's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gilwipdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sheep.

2. Always obey Gilwipdon's priests.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Do not listen to music.

Rak Motmab is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud tortoise.

Rak Motmab created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rak Motmab, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rak Motmab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Rak Motmab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Rak Motmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare onions while filled with joy.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not wear tights marked with turquoise.

4. Hide from red squirrels for they are unholy.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Cedzimrakmob is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, caring otter.

Cedzimrakmob created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cedzimrakmob, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cedzimrakmob, she will not care.

Cedzimrakmob's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cedzimrakmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

5. Cedzimrakmob loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

Hontenxenquill is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, egotistical scorpion.

Hontenxenquill created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hontenxenquill, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hontenxenquill, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hontenxenquill's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hontenxenquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never whisper while facing east.

Nelbetjabbess is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous bat.

Nelbetjabbess created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelbetjabbess, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nelbetjabbess, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nelbetjabbess' most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nelbetjabbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Kikrutyak is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, blissful centaur.

Kikrutyak created Asia seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikrutyak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kikrutyak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Kikrutyak's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kikrutyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not prepare turnips while wearing scarves.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Erect five titanium sculptures of Kikrutyak on top of important buildings.