Vegtarmis is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, humane naga.

Vegtarmis created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Vegtarmis, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vegtarmis, it will send you a sign.

Vegtarmis' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vegtarmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching platinum.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near squirrels while wearing magenta dresses.

5. Do not name children after aardvarks.

Quartdossweg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, capable newt.

Quartdossweg created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartdossweg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quartdossweg, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Quartdossweg's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Quartdossweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

Nabbissveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-assured skunk.

Nabbissveg created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabbissveg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nabbissveg, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nabbissveg's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Nabbissveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with white.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Never hop in summer.

Sandvolbat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful badger.

Sandvolbat created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandvolbat, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandvolbat, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sandvolbat's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Sandvolbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Xucvangem is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless swallow.

Xucvangem created water twelve years ago.

If you believe in Xucvangem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xucvangem, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Xucvangem's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Xucvangem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

3. Xucvangem loves bats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Always help squirrels in need.

Hancadster is a god.

He takes the form of a small, astonishing camel.

Hancadster created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hancadster, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hancadster, he will think nothing of it.

Hancadster's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hancadster's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed lentils to sharks while wearing indigo tights.

4. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

5. Never fashion tools from bone.

Nillarggoddud is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, selfish ant.

Nillarggoddud created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillarggoddud, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nillarggoddud, she will turn you into a mole.

Nillarggoddud's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nillarggoddud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near seals while wearing violet shoes and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Kabraptun is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, kind chinchilla.

Kabraptun created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabraptun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kabraptun, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kabraptun's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kabraptun's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach forests carrying clay.

2. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kabraptun.