Buggigvigfab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent shark.

Buggigvigfab created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Buggigvigfab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Buggigvigfab, it will jump up and down on your head.

Buggigvigfab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Buggigvigfab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Buggigvigfab.

5. Never adorn your arms with white markings.

Kadjoncun is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, passionate dolphin.

Kadjoncun created gold five million years ago.

If you believe in Kadjoncun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kadjoncun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Kadjoncun's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Kadjoncun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Never sit in holy places.

Zagcunyatthangedhakvog is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous narwhal.

Zagcunyatthangedhakvog created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagcunyatthangedhakvog, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zagcunyatthangedhakvog, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zagcunyatthangedhakvog's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Zagcunyatthangedhakvog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

2. Never write about electromagnetism.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. You must love Zagcunyatthangedhakvog.

5. Never talk about bacteria.

Sabbigwapquag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous dugong.

Sabbigwapquag created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sabbigwapquag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sabbigwapquag, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sabbigwapquag's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Sabbigwapquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing north.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always wash your neck before prayer.

Yimmeglen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, amazing troll.

Yimmeglen created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimmeglen, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Yimmeglen, it will cry a lot.

Yimmeglen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Yimmeglen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

5. Never talk about stars.

Fetortwab is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless shrew.

Fetortwab created parasitic wasps nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetortwab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fetortwab, she will turn you into a duck.

Fetortwab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fetortwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Never look at asteroids.

Figgaddun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, two-faced jellyfish.

Figgaddun created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figgaddun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figgaddun, it will turn you into a dog.

Figgaddun's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Figgaddun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill cats.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not take Figgaddun's name in vain.

4. Feed all hungry tortoises.

5. Do not chant in public.

Ditgudquart is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humane unicorn.

Ditgudquart created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditgudquart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ditgudquart, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ditgudquart's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ditgudquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.