Mutdutnur is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless swallow.

Mutdutnur created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Mutdutnur, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mutdutnur, it will think nothing of it.

Mutdutnur's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Mutdutnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. You must love Mutdutnur.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

Yognaknel is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, selfish hare.

Yognaknel created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yognaknel, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yognaknel, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yognaknel's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yognaknel's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Yognaknel on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

5. Never stain your legs with yellow.

Kapkomgarsit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, thoughtless duck.

Kapkomgarsit created an atom three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapkomgarsit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kapkomgarsit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Kapkomgarsit's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kapkomgarsit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

2. Never mix spinach with ash.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never go into black rooms.

Mipminnulgeb Logyik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unselfish duck.

Mipminnulgeb Logyik created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Mipminnulgeb Logyik, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mipminnulgeb Logyik, she will have a low opinion of you.

Mipminnulgeb Logyik's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Mipminnulgeb Logyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Mipminnulgeb Logyik four times a day.

2. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

3. Never feed lemons to shrews while wearing trousers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

5. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Mipminnulgeb Logyik in the centre of the settlement.

Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, duplicitous octopus.

Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim created vertebrates nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never mark doors with gray.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. You must love Vonquillbeg Cebparkdim.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, weak faun.

Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Vidbessfenfon Rotpitkik Buddadhan loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. You must never eat rice.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never eat beans on fasting days.

Bellgupdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome duck.

Bellgupdiss created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Bellgupdiss, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bellgupdiss, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bellgupdiss' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bellgupdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Never allow mice to witness sacred rites.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

Renquillgam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, prudent owl.

Renquillgam created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Renquillgam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Renquillgam, he will strike you with lightening.

Renquillgam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Renquillgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Always remove coats before touching nickel.

3. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

4. You must pray to Renquillgam three times a day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.