Hombosswig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-assured newt.

Hombosswig created viruses five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hombosswig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hombosswig, it will not care.

Hombosswig's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Hombosswig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Betbudfab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, boastful wombat.

Betbudfab created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Betbudfab, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Betbudfab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Betbudfab's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Betbudfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

3. Hide if four shrews approach from the south.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Hunvabpang is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited yak.

Hunvabpang created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunvabpang, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hunvabpang, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hunvabpang's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Hunvabpang's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Always remove rings before touching lead.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with fear.

5. Remain prostrate during prayer.

Fonyimflam is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, vain lizard.

Fonyimflam created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonyimflam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fonyimflam, it will cry a lot.

Fonyimflam's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Fonyimflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never allow swans to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.

4. Do not hurt birds.

5. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

Nulcengem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, flying owl.

Nulcengem created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulcengem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nulcengem, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nulcengem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Nulcengem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nulcengem.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Bessvadjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, almighty hummingbird.

Bessvadjam created the Tadpole Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Bessvadjam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bessvadjam, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bessvadjam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bessvadjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Bessvadjam loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Never paint your feet pink.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

Hatdonjad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless jellyfish.

Hatdonjad created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatdonjad, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hatdonjad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hatdonjad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hatdonjad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

4. Do not place lentils upon stone.

5. Do not sprint at rivers.

Hanfidcam Met is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty ferret.

Hanfidcam Met created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hanfidcam Met, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hanfidcam Met, she will send you a sign.

Hanfidcam Met's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Hanfidcam Met's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not speak about rice.