Tadxinfid is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic troll.

Tadxinfid created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadxinfid, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tadxinfid, he will send minions to preach to you.

Tadxinfid's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Tadxinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not jump at forests.

Rulvigcittenqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, idiotic toad.

Rulvigcittenqueeg created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rulvigcittenqueeg, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Rulvigcittenqueeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rulvigcittenqueeg's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Rulvigcittenqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Do not take Rulvigcittenqueeg's name in vain.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

4. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

5. Never feed carrots to nematodes while wearing orange stockings.

Volyarlcussquill is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, charitable squirrel.

Volyarlcussquill created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Volyarlcussquill, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Volyarlcussquill, he will destroy your favourite star.

Volyarlcussquill's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Volyarlcussquill's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Erect five lead sculptures of Volyarlcussquill on top of important buildings.

4. Do not prepare limes while filled with joy.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.

Rullbugwipzog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable dove.

Rullbugwipzog created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullbugwipzog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rullbugwipzog, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Rullbugwipzog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Rullbugwipzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

2. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with grasshopers.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Retreat if nine capybaras approach from the east.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Mifmidquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, resourceful crab.

Mifmidquaf created life seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifmidquaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mifmidquaf, he will refuse to believe in you.

Mifmidquaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Mifmidquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Mifmidquaf on top of all buildings.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing mauve shorts and balancing four nickel spheres on your feet.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.

Dibbogtafligtanrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, calm hare.

Dibbogtafligtanrag created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibbogtafligtanrag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dibbogtafligtanrag, she will turn you into a tree.

Dibbogtafligtanrag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dibbogtafligtanrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with gray.

2. Always look after injured pigs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.

Lattail is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring tapir.

Lattail created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lattail, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lattail, he will turn you into a sheep.

Lattail's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Lattail's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Cemstragbut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, conceited parrot.

Cemstragbut created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Cemstragbut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cemstragbut, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cemstragbut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cemstragbut's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always remove scarves before touching iron.