Cussbennutt is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered bee.

Cussbennutt created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Cussbennutt, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cussbennutt, she will curse you with boils.

Cussbennutt's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Cussbennutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silver while unclean.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

Jarnfebrap is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, caring dove.

Jarnfebrap created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfebrap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnfebrap, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jarnfebrap's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jarnfebrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Logsidsab is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent crow.

Logsidsab created an electron three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Logsidsab, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Logsidsab, she will destroy your home planet.

Logsidsab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Logsidsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from gold.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Always share lentils with strangers, but never with squirrels.

4. Always obey Logsidsab's priests.

5. Always act with purity.

Cab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, omniscient raven.

Cab created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cab, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Cab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Cab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not prepare bananas while filled with joy.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Never mention seals.

Xucbet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful troll.

Xucbet created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucbet, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xucbet, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Xucbet's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Xucbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always remove scarves before touching aluminium.

3. Run away if eight geese approach from the north.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Hide from mauve dolphins for they are unholy.

Rutqueegbab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, prudent lion.

Rutqueegbab created an atom six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutqueegbab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rutqueegbab, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rutqueegbab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Rutqueegbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

2. Always wash your hands before prayer.

3. Never record signs.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

5. Never feed lots of strawberries to foxes while wearing brown kilts.

Mabdobdod is a god.

He takes the form of a small, kind crocodile.

Mabdobdod created time and space four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabdobdod, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Mabdobdod, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mabdobdod's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Mabdobdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not take Mabdobdod's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.

Dinvinstan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, staggering donkey.

Dinvinstan created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinvinstan, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dinvinstan, he will torture you forever.

Dinvinstan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Dinvinstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

3. Dinvinstan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

5. Pray only in darkness.