Fumwonyarpfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, charitable cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fumwonyarpfoss created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumwonyarpfoss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fumwonyarpfoss, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fumwonyarpfoss' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fumwonyarpfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

2. Always look after injured cats.

3. Run away if five snakes approach from the west.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

Listhigfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, intelligent troll.

Listhigfarn created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listhigfarn, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Listhigfarn, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Listhigfarn's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Listhigfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.

Afbinmiszenartfutveengam is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, calm pig.

Afbinmiszenartfutveengam created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afbinmiszenartfutveengam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Afbinmiszenartfutveengam, she will manifest in front of you.

Afbinmiszenartfutveengam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Afbinmiszenartfutveengam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Never wear pink tights on sacred days.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Witcumyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring ferret.

Witcumyik created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witcumyik, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Witcumyik, she will turn you into a snail.

Witcumyik's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Witcumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witcumyik.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Cepfidcid is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, contented duck.

Cepfidcid created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepfidcid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cepfidcid, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cepfidcid's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cepfidcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

4. Never gather five otters in one place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Mobquaggom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful gorilla.

Mobquaggom created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobquaggom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mobquaggom, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mobquaggom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Mobquaggom's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

Gembepcetgilsas is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, uncaring naga.

Gembepcetgilsas created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gembepcetgilsas, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gembepcetgilsas, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gembepcetgilsas' most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gembepcetgilsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Never remain standing at midday.

5. Do not wear black clothing.

Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unjust crab.

Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop, it will destroy your home solar system.

Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nakpoddan Tinfomhud Ponfabjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think ill of sick dogs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not keep eight cats in a large pit.

5. Run away from red great tits, for they are unholy.