Satdidwod is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing aardvark.

Satdidwod created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Satdidwod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satdidwod, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Satdidwod's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Satdidwod's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Satdidwod must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with yellow.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow aardvark.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid, it will turn you into a duck.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid.

3. Never wear fawn kilts.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid.

Manlunkad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured clam.

Manlunkad created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Manlunkad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Manlunkad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Manlunkad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Manlunkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

3. Always act with patience when addressing children.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Hithuglid Padgarrill is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid bee.

Hithuglid Padgarrill created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hithuglid Padgarrill, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hithuglid Padgarrill, she will turn you into a hamster.

Hithuglid Padgarrill's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hithuglid Padgarrill's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always remove corsets before touching iron.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Hampagrap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered meerkat.

Hampagrap created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Hampagrap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hampagrap, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hampagrap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hampagrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume beans at dawn.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never mix wheat with blood.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.

Paktinrillsas is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest whale.

Paktinrillsas created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktinrillsas, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Paktinrillsas, she will send you a sign.

Paktinrillsas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Paktinrillsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

2. Do not name children after monkeys.

3. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Sabpodmab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous badger.

Sabpodmab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabpodmab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabpodmab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sabpodmab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sabpodmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never mention birds.

5. You must pray to Sabpodmab three times a day.

Hakcussdadfudbog is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful otter.

Hakcussdadfudbog created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakcussdadfudbog, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hakcussdadfudbog, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Hakcussdadfudbog's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hakcussdadfudbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick geese.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Do not drink alcohol.