Dusspagban is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, omnipotent wombat.

Dusspagban created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusspagban, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dusspagban, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Dusspagban's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dusspagban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Do not commit murder.

Sisbitnut Bimlibfly is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating elephant.

Sisbitnut Bimlibfly created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisbitnut Bimlibfly, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sisbitnut Bimlibfly, it will be very sad.

Sisbitnut Bimlibfly's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Sisbitnut Bimlibfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not name children after moths.

3. Never wear indigo skirts on sacred days.

4. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

5. Always cleanse oil with water.

Dusslenpan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable squid.

Dusslenpan created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dusslenpan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dusslenpan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Dusslenpan's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Dusslenpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always share limes with strangers, but never with seals.

4. Never feed strawberries to great tits while wearing red shorts.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Japminlip Vidbongan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, staggering swan.

Japminlip Vidbongan created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japminlip Vidbongan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Japminlip Vidbongan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Japminlip Vidbongan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Japminlip Vidbongan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the east.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

4. Do not prepare gooseberries while filled with joy.

5. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Japminlip Vidbongan on top of important buildings.

Femyartdagmet is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, calm narwhal.

Femyartdagmet created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femyartdagmet, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Femyartdagmet, she will make you grow a tail.

Femyartdagmet's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Femyartdagmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Do not leap at forests.

Femhaddin is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, loving dove.

Femhaddin created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Femhaddin, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femhaddin, it will destroy your favourite star.

Femhaddin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Femhaddin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Femhaddin.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.

Bodwadwig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciless horse.

Bodwadwig created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Bodwadwig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bodwadwig, she will be very sad.

Bodwadwig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bodwadwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your arms with violet markings.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Never eat spinach on holy days.

5. Do not commit murder.

Ont is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional shrew.

Ont created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ont, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ont, she will laugh at you.

Ont's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ont's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing jumpers.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. You must pray to Ont seven times a day.