Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless rat.

Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Lidrapnurl Tafzogfon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Do not shave your head.

Figneggoffod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing duck.

Figneggoffod created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Figneggoffod, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Figneggoffod, he will turn you into a dog.

Figneggoffod's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Figneggoffod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Figneggoffod on top of important buildings.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not hop at rivers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never eat lemons on holy days.

Geddongom Cudragzogvig is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, astonishing lizard.

Geddongom Cudragzogvig created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Geddongom Cudragzogvig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Geddongom Cudragzogvig, it will send you a sign.

Geddongom Cudragzogvig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Geddongom Cudragzogvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Never paint your arms black.

3. Always look after injured cats.

4. Do not contemplate quantum field theory during the night.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident weasel.

Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad, it will turn you into a hamster.

Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always help gulls.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing turquoise ear rings.

4. Always obey Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad's priests.

5. Butgannar Gutquafhaddabstragnarcad must be the most important thing in your life.

Nurtranlid is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, generous narwhal.

Nurtranlid created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nurtranlid, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtranlid, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nurtranlid's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nurtranlid's Holy Commandments

1. Turtles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Xensigcib is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, generous chicken.

Xensigcib created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xensigcib, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xensigcib, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Xensigcib's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Xensigcib's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never wear blue scarves.

4. Never handle nickel while unclean.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

Femkopvon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective pigeon.

Femkopvon created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femkopvon, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Femkopvon, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Femkopvon's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Femkopvon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Femkopvon first in all things.

2. Never proclaim while facing north.

3. Do not speak about turnips.

4. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.

Aflikpit is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, cheerful rhinoceros.

Aflikpit created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Aflikpit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Aflikpit, she will turn you into a rat.

Aflikpit's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Aflikpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear jumpers marked with brown.

2. Never mark doors with fawn.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

5. Never eat tomatoes.