Fagstafdum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous rat.

Fagstafdum created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagstafdum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fagstafdum, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Fagstafdum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Fagstafdum's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Never adorn your chest with mauve markings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Worship no other gods but Fagstafdum.

5. Never wear white corsets on sacred days.

Lamarmdad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, duplicitous jackal.

Lamarmdad created everything that exists three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lamarmdad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lamarmdad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lamarmdad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Lamarmdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never adorn your face with yellow markings.

4. Do not prepare wheat while wearing shirts.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

Yarlnegflis is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident pig.

Yarlnegflis created the Tadpole Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnegflis, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yarlnegflis, she will laugh at you.

Yarlnegflis' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Yarlnegflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never think about enzymes.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Bumgubnurtdog is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, sapient pig.

Bumgubnurtdog created the Andromeda Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bumgubnurtdog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Bumgubnurtdog, she will curse you with boils.

Bumgubnurtdog's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bumgubnurtdog's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

3. Never feed oranges to ants while wearing coats.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not step barefoot upon yellow earth.

Cadsakcar is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, overgenerous bear.

Cadsakcar created everything that exists four years ago.

If you believe in Cadsakcar, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cadsakcar, he will not care at all.

Cadsakcar's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cadsakcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

3. Do not prepare apples while filled with joy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

Mityarptam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, vain jellyfish.

Mityarptam created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mityarptam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mityarptam, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Mityarptam's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Mityarptam's Holy Commandments

1. Mityarptam loves moths, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Mityarptam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.

Hunhatsagpan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, overgenerous crow.

Hunhatsagpan created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hunhatsagpan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hunhatsagpan, he will turn you into a dog.

Hunhatsagpan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hunhatsagpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

5. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

Miplidkom is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent wren.

Miplidkom created the Virgo Supercluster five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miplidkom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Miplidkom, she will strike you with lightening.

Miplidkom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Miplidkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place coconuts upon stone.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tapirs while wearing black ear rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your head.

4. You must never eat bananas.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.