Lunnurtpop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy duck.

Lunnurtpop created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunnurtpop, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lunnurtpop, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lunnurtpop's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Lunnurtpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about fire.

Bogbossgig Cedjannan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive finch.

Bogbossgig Cedjannan created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogbossgig Cedjannan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogbossgig Cedjannan, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bogbossgig Cedjannan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Bogbossgig Cedjannan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never wear skirts.

5. Never eat tomatoes on fasting days.

Dumkopbag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, effective narwhal.

Dumkopbag created the Sun nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumkopbag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dumkopbag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dumkopbag's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dumkopbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Do not resist chaos.

5. Do not listen to music.

Arfrawkim Watweezakgom is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, proud dingo.

Arfrawkim Watweezakgom created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfrawkim Watweezakgom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arfrawkim Watweezakgom, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Arfrawkim Watweezakgom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Arfrawkim Watweezakgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

2. Never adorn your legs with pink markings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never look in ponds.

Volcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, caring tortoise.

Volcuss created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Volcuss, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Volcuss, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Volcuss' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Volcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always share beans with strangers, but never with swans.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Volcuss.

5. Never speak at midnight.

Haknillster is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witless faun.

Haknillster created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haknillster, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Haknillster, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Haknillster's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Haknillster's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with turquoise.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never feed lentils to eagles while wearing green tights.

5. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

Dapbaddab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful squid.

Dapbaddab created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapbaddab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dapbaddab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Dapbaddab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dapbaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick shrews.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

Ragxemdan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced duck.

Ragxemdan created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragxemdan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ragxemdan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ragxemdan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ragxemdan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Heed all dreams.