Quagnatcat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy wyvern.

Quagnatcat created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagnatcat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagnatcat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quagnatcat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Quagnatcat's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Do not consume spinach at dawn.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.

Biglimranwik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy dolphin.

Biglimranwik created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biglimranwik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Biglimranwik, he will turn you into a dog.

Biglimranwik's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Biglimranwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers on fasting days.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never paint your chest gray.

Nillgubquat is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, ill-tempered snail.

Nillgubquat created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillgubquat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nillgubquat, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nillgubquat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nillgubquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

2. Never adorn your arms with mauve markings.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Never feed pineapples to doves while wearing ear rings.

Ponsat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy tortoise.

Ponsat created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponsat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ponsat, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Ponsat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Ponsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. You must love Ponsat.

4. Never mark doors with black.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Bogsidtaggubnelflam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unjust jellyfish.

Bogsidtaggubnelflam created the planet Jupiter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogsidtaggubnelflam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bogsidtaggubnelflam, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogsidtaggubnelflam's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bogsidtaggubnelflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Never gather nine squirrels near bridges.

3. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

4. Do not name children after manatees.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.

Gemsatbeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humane monkey.

Gemsatbeg created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemsatbeg, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gemsatbeg, it will ignore you.

Gemsatbeg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gemsatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare garlic during summer.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing purple coats.

3. Never mark doors with blue.

4. Always wash your hands before prayer.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

Shavnatpak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, capable rat.

Shavnatpak created viruses three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavnatpak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Shavnatpak, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Shavnatpak's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Shavnatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with tortoises.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Zaksidpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, self-confident newt.

Zaksidpog created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zaksidpog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zaksidpog, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zaksidpog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Zaksidpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Zaksidpog loves mites, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.