Yarpapplam is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fast zebra.

Yarpapplam created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpapplam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarpapplam, she will turn you into a snail.

Yarpapplam's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Yarpapplam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place cucumbers upon stone.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not name children after doves.

Sadqueeghon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable centipede.

Sadqueeghon created viruses nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadqueeghon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sadqueeghon, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sadqueeghon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Sadqueeghon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always wear green.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never bounce near great tits.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Hapbetdapzimlid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, irritating dugong.

Hapbetdapzimlid created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapbetdapzimlid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapbetdapzimlid, she will send minions to preach to you.

Hapbetdapzimlid's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Hapbetdapzimlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near swans while wearing red shorts and balancing eight zinc spheres on your legs.

4. Never mix beans with oil.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

Pagveentunwik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, all-powerful cobra.

Pagveentunwik created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagveentunwik, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pagveentunwik, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pagveentunwik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pagveentunwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always help birds.

Arpgidzanxen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced clam.

Arpgidzanxen created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpgidzanxen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Arpgidzanxen, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Arpgidzanxen's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Arpgidzanxen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Arpgidzanxen.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never gather eight bats near towers.

5. Never mix gooseberries with blood.

Gepgidyoggan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, smart slug.

Gepgidyoggan created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepgidyoggan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gepgidyoggan, it will turn you into a worm.

Gepgidyoggan's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gepgidyoggan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix rice with oil.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never stain your head with indigo.

4. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

5. Do not consume nuts at dawn.

Jigsomquill is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, resourceful squirrel.

Jigsomquill created parasitic wasps two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jigsomquill, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jigsomquill, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jigsomquill's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jigsomquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Hide from pink dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

4. Never eat spinach on days of mourning.

5. Respect your elders.

Begkanhim is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, compassionate donkey.

Begkanhim created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Begkanhim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Begkanhim, it will destroy your home planet.

Begkanhim's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Begkanhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

2. You must pray to Begkanhim eight times a day.

3. Never discuss deoxyribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

4. Do not prepare nuts while wearing rings.

5. Never talk about frogs.