Jabnurbab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking skunk.

Jabnurbab created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabnurbab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jabnurbab, it will turn you into a dog.

Jabnurbab's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Jabnurbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Run away if four nematodes approach from the west.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Do not prepare bread while wearing ear rings.

5. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

Zignuttomt is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unselfish wolf.

Zignuttomt created the Tadpole Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zignuttomt, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zignuttomt, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zignuttomt's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Zignuttomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Never remain standing at dusk.

3. Never gather four bats in one place.

4. Never think ill of sick mites.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.

Tommadster is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, moody duck.

Tommadster created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tommadster, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tommadster, it will turn you into a plant.

Tommadster's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tommadster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Do not kill cats.

5. Hide from magenta aardvarks for they are unholy.

Tigdaplap is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, cheerful otter.

Tigdaplap created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigdaplap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tigdaplap, she will turn you into a slug.

Tigdaplap's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Tigdaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Hide from red aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Pinbitmit Hen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring manatee.

Pinbitmit Hen created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pinbitmit Hen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pinbitmit Hen, he will make you grow a tail.

Pinbitmit Hen's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Pinbitmit Hen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Never mark doors with brown.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Pinbitmit Hen on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

Yaknadmon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless grasshopper.

Yaknadmon created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaknadmon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yaknadmon, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yaknadmon's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Yaknadmon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Put Yaknadmon first in all things.

3. Never adorn your neck with pink markings.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Mutsaddub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy hamster.

Mutsaddub created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutsaddub, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mutsaddub, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Mutsaddub's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Mutsaddub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair brown.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

Zenvonkgov is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy raccoon.

Zenvonkgov created dark matter two years ago.

If you believe in Zenvonkgov, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zenvonkgov, it will not care.

Zenvonkgov's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Zenvonkgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

3. Never talk about optics near sheep while wearing cyan ear rings and balancing four platinum spheres on your hands.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always pray immersed in water.