Milhugciss is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, calm giraffe.

Milhugciss created the solar system six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milhugciss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Milhugciss, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Milhugciss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Milhugciss' Holy Commandments

1. Milhugciss loves dogs, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about special relativity near sharks while wearing orange scarves.

3. Always wear gray.

4. Never gather four snails in one place.

5. Always cleanse water with water.

Yoggarboss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical bear.

Yoggarboss created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoggarboss, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yoggarboss, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yoggarboss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yoggarboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yoggarboss' priests.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never stain your neck with fawn.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing green jumpers.

5. Do not sprint in public.

Tigbamwab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, wise slug.

Tigbamwab created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigbamwab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tigbamwab, it will turn you into a dog.

Tigbamwab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Tigbamwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

4. Hide if six birds approach from the west.

5. Never run in holy places.

Dithubnat is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair walrus.

Dithubnat created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dithubnat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dithubnat, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Dithubnat's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Dithubnat's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five eagles in one place.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing cyan tights and balancing eight carbon spheres on your face.

5. Never mix garlic with blood.

Rappognel is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited dryad.

Rappognel created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rappognel, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rappognel, she will curse you with boils.

Rappognel's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Rappognel's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum field theory.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never mention porpoises.

Ratontcar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful swan.

Ratontcar created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratontcar, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ratontcar, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ratontcar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ratontcar's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the south.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Do not record secrets concerning stars.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Fedbegcar is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, benevolent wyrm.

Fedbegcar created the universe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fedbegcar, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fedbegcar, she will be very sad.

Fedbegcar's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fedbegcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never allow mice to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Hunpassit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, conceited crow.

Hunpassit created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Hunpassit, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hunpassit, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hunpassit's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Hunpassit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must pray to Hunpassit three times a day.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Do not wear trousers marked with orange.