Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented newt.

Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kandotjadlarnhin Dotwaptomjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while filled with joy.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Never write about dark matter.

Tipcedjop is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful jellyfish.

Tipcedjop created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Tipcedjop, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tipcedjop, it will make you grow a tail.

Tipcedjop's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Tipcedjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always store bananas above ground.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Never bounce in the presence of eagles.

5. Never write about stars.

Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart dugong.

Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss, he will torture you forever.

Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never record secrets.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Erect six platinum sculptures of Yatstigtikfem Bosshasflisbidteencadgabduss on top of important buildings.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Veen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, proud hare.

Veen created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Veen, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Veen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Veen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. You must love Veen.

4. Do not hurt dolphins.

5. Always look after injured goats.

Cadspagsan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, blissful mouse.

Cadspagsan created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadspagsan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cadspagsan, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cadspagsan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Cadspagsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Never hurt eagles.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Always maintain purity during holy days.

5. Never wear hats.

Dossappgil is a god.

It takes the form of a large, fussy goat.

Dossappgil created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossappgil, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dossappgil, it will turn you into a tree.

Dossappgil's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dossappgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing magenta shorts and balancing five copper spheres on your head.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. You must pray to Dossappgil six times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

Vangamgum is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical dryad.

Vangamgum created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vangamgum, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vangamgum, she will ignore you.

Vangamgum's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vangamgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Never prepare oranges during autumn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless mouse.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap, he will destroy your home solar system.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Faddavyimpopstigsandtonrull Yarpflanjabstersomlinhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about dark matter near manatees while wearing white ear rings and balancing five tin spheres on your back.

4. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.