Taplimhas is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent cat.

Taplimhas created the Andromeda Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taplimhas, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Taplimhas, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Taplimhas' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Taplimhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not prepare cherries while wearing scarves.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. You must pray to Taplimhas nine times a day.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Fedbast is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, quiet crocodile.

Fedbast created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fedbast, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fedbast, it will turn you into a dog.

Fedbast's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fedbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Run away from purple manatees, for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

5. Do not fashion tools from gold.

Beppinmum Podhigcud is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, bad-tempered octopus.

Beppinmum Podhigcud created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beppinmum Podhigcud, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Beppinmum Podhigcud, he will boil you in a big pot.

Beppinmum Podhigcud's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Beppinmum Podhigcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant at rivers.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat grapes on holy days.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Dodtaging is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, flying skunk.

Dodtaging created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodtaging, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dodtaging, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dodtaging's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Dodtaging's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not place bread upon stone.

Quartfidsit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless dolphin.

Quartfidsit created silver twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quartfidsit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartfidsit, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Quartfidsit's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Quartfidsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

2. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

3. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never adorn your head with yellow markings.

Tonkruttlak is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish shrew.

Tonkruttlak created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkruttlak, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkruttlak, it will torture you forever.

Tonkruttlak's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tonkruttlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Never write about chromosomes.

5. Pray only in firelight.

Batgepflat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful ferret.

Batgepflat created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Batgepflat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Batgepflat, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Batgepflat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Batgepflat's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never talk about galaxies.

Shavlinlam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish pigeon.

Shavlinlam created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavlinlam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Shavlinlam, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Shavlinlam's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Shavlinlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.