Narlpadyargabcar is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, humane mole.

Narlpadyargabcar created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Narlpadyargabcar, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Narlpadyargabcar, she will not care.

Narlpadyargabcar's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Narlpadyargabcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Never think about optics near tortoises while wearing gray scarves and balancing three nickel spheres on your feet.

3. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never eat figs.

Tifwonnan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, strong tapir.

Tifwonnan created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tifwonnan, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tifwonnan, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tifwonnan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tifwonnan's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tifwonnan.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Never record signs.

4. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

5. Tifwonnan must be the most important thing in your life.

Flanpidzig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, flying octopus.

Flanpidzig created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Flanpidzig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flanpidzig, she will not invite you to parties.

Flanpidzig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Flanpidzig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Always act with purity.

5. Never chant in holy places.

Nilbiddusskongodbembarn is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, strong tapir.

Nilbiddusskongodbembarn created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Nilbiddusskongodbembarn, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilbiddusskongodbembarn, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nilbiddusskongodbembarn's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Nilbiddusskongodbembarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Nilbiddusskongodbembarn's priests.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

Dod is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, amazing chicken.

Dod created silver eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dod, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dod, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dod's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never approach forests carrying stone.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never talk about nebulae.

Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, sapient crocodile.

Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak, it will turn you into a snail.

Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Quillontponlitbombell Sagfunnegpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed figs to snails while wearing gray shirts.

2. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing hats.

3. Never eat garlic on holy days.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

Weequafrak is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, unthinking naga.

Weequafrak created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weequafrak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Weequafrak, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Weequafrak's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Weequafrak's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Always count to five before sleeping.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Latdoggom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain yak.

Latdoggom created snails eight million years ago.

If you believe in Latdoggom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Latdoggom, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Latdoggom's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Latdoggom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Remain kneeling during prayer.

3. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Worship no other gods but Latdoggom.