Sogdubtit is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent eagle.

Sogdubtit created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogdubtit, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sogdubtit, it will refuse to believe in you.

Sogdubtit's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Sogdubtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare carrots during autumn.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Never eat corn.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

5. Learn three new languages a year.

Cubwapwat Gutgud is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, competent dingo.

Cubwapwat Gutgud created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cubwapwat Gutgud, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cubwapwat Gutgud, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cubwapwat Gutgud's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cubwapwat Gutgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to seals while wearing blue skirts.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed peas to ants while wearing rings.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

Afbeglarn is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, able elephant.

Afbeglarn created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Afbeglarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Afbeglarn, he will turn you into a snail.

Afbeglarn's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Afbeglarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Afbeglarn in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never wear purple skirts on sacred days.

3. Never talk about spacetime near hamsters while wearing blue boots.

4. Afbeglarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always look after injured ants.

Gig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous cow.

Gig created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Gig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Gig's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Never feed beans to birds while wearing turquoise corsets.

3. Never wear pink jumpers on sacred days.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Citveenlan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, benevolent deer.

Citveenlan created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Citveenlan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Citveenlan, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Citveenlan's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Citveenlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not record names concerning comets.

3. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

4. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing coats.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Jamyatgon is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awe-inspiring monkey.

Jamyatgon created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamyatgon, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jamyatgon, he will turn you into a puffin.

Jamyatgon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jamyatgon's Holy Commandments

1. Jamyatgon loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not laugh at rivers.

3. Never paint your arms mauve.

4. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

5. Never mention horses.

Farteental is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic mouse.

Farteental created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farteental, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Farteental, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Farteental's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Farteental's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle platinum while unclean.

2. Horses are not to be trusted.

3. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

4. Always obey Farteental's priests.

5. Always act with purity.

Abcumdissvadcitpondudged is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, passionate gnu.

Abcumdissvadcitpondudged created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abcumdissvadcitpondudged, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Abcumdissvadcitpondudged, he will manifest in front of you.

Abcumdissvadcitpondudged's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Abcumdissvadcitpondudged's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

5. Never play with disobedient children.