Talquaglarg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate raven.

Talquaglarg created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Talquaglarg, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Talquaglarg, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Talquaglarg's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Talquaglarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never think about ultrasonics.

Parkjadbot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional hare.

Parkjadbot created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkjadbot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parkjadbot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Parkjadbot's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Parkjadbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed cucumbers to sheep while wearing violet shirts.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous pig.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Sigwotdib Gantailboss Wodhomtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always wear black.

5. Always act with patience.

Arpgemgem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid frog.

Arpgemgem created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpgemgem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arpgemgem, he will destroy your favourite star.

Arpgemgem's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Arpgemgem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.

Doggomloop is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud gnu.

Doggomloop created matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Doggomloop, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Doggomloop, it will turn you into a mouse.

Doggomloop's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Doggomloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your chest with red markings.

2. Never mix figs with ash.

3. Never stain your hands with green.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Gumtifkam is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, boastful beaver.

Gumtifkam created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gumtifkam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gumtifkam, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gumtifkam's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gumtifkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing mauve dresses and balancing three copper spheres on your feet.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Do not wear kilts marked with gray.

4. Never leap near seals.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unselfish zebra.

Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Pang Misbidkanwipquimgetcenloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your feet toward the east during prayer.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

3. Do not place garlic upon stone.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not prepare spinach while filled with pride.

Arngemtam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody donkey.

Arngemtam created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Arngemtam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Arngemtam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Arngemtam's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Arngemtam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Arngemtam loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Never wear orange corsets on sacred days.