Spagdib is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, loving snail.

Spagdib created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagdib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Spagdib, he will jump up and down on your head.

Spagdib's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Spagdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle gold while unclean.

2. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about dark matter near tortoises while wearing green scarves and balancing eight lead spheres on your back.

5. Never remain bowed at midnight.

Dudflabgub Logtimtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a large, unselfish wyvern.

Dudflabgub Logtimtonk created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Dudflabgub Logtimtonk, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudflabgub Logtimtonk, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dudflabgub Logtimtonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Dudflabgub Logtimtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt manatees.

2. Never adorn your feet with cyan markings.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear green boots on sacred days.

Cimlegwit is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, capable jackal.

Cimlegwit created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimlegwit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cimlegwit, he will turn you into a rat.

Cimlegwit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cimlegwit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Cimlegwit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with rats.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

Arnlarnster is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring beaver.

Arnlarnster created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnlarnster, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Arnlarnster, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Arnlarnster's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Arnlarnster's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into violet rooms.

2. Run away from blue monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Never point your head toward the south during prayer.

4. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

5. Never gather nine capybaras near towers.

Nannurtham Yattjenteen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthinking unicorn.

Nannurtham Yattjenteen created Asia seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nannurtham Yattjenteen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nannurtham Yattjenteen, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nannurtham Yattjenteen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Nannurtham Yattjenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

Citjamgebjabdadsadren is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, smart unicorn.

Citjamgebjabdadsadren created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citjamgebjabdadsadren, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Citjamgebjabdadsadren, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Citjamgebjabdadsadren's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Citjamgebjabdadsadren's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not sit at rivers.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about otters.

5. Do not take Citjamgebjabdadsadren's name in vain.

Miffitlargcun is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, pitiless bee.

Miffitlargcun created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miffitlargcun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Miffitlargcun, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Miffitlargcun's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Miffitlargcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan hats on sacred days.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Always store grapes above ground.

Xinquillpom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Xinquillpom created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinquillpom, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinquillpom, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Xinquillpom's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Xinquillpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

2. Do not place parsnips upon stone.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always wear gray.