Fodnabpit is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, effective gorilla.

Fodnabpit created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodnabpit, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fodnabpit, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fodnabpit's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fodnabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Never sing in the presence of ducks.

3. Always remove ear rings before touching zinc.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Do not shave your feet.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered fairy.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut, it will not invite you to parties.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention hamsters.

2. Never sing in the presence of elders.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut on top of important buildings.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Yarlmutyartstragtarbamcut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not place beans upon stone.

Stikarnquam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, omniscient jaguar.

Stikarnquam created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikarnquam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stikarnquam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Stikarnquam's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Stikarnquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about geese.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing orange skirts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Stikarnquam.

Tafcibkad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, idiotic seal.

Tafcibkad created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafcibkad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tafcibkad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tafcibkad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tafcibkad's Holy Commandments

1. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Worship no other gods but Tafcibkad.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while filled with envy.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Always obey Tafcibkad's priests.

Cussugbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, clever raccoon.

Cussugbaf created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cussugbaf, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cussugbaf, it will turn you into a slug.

Cussugbaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Cussugbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Cussugbaf.

Sawpagcab is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented lion.

Sawpagcab created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawpagcab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sawpagcab, it will be very unhappy.

Sawpagcab's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Sawpagcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never laugh near grasshopers.

4. Never gather four bats near wells.

5. Do not record numbers concerning moons.

Tunfobdon is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able dragon.

Tunfobdon created the planet Venus two years ago.

If you believe in Tunfobdon, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tunfobdon, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tunfobdon's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tunfobdon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

3. Worship no other gods but Tunfobdon.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not listen to music.

Bumwigwon is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, conceited gerbil.

Bumwigwon created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumwigwon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bumwigwon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bumwigwon's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bumwigwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

2. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

3. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bumwigwon.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.