Satjanveg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty crocodile.

Satjanveg created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satjanveg, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Satjanveg, she will turn you into a mouse.

Satjanveg's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Satjanveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

Yartcabgam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring cat.

Yartcabgam created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartcabgam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yartcabgam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yartcabgam's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yartcabgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four horses in a large pit.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Hide from cyan seals for they are unholy.

Nabpib is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, uncaring fly.

Nabpib created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabpib, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nabpib, it will not care.

Nabpib's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Hide if eight frogs approach from the north.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nabpib.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Nabpib on top of all buildings.

5. Never stain your head with indigo.

Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain salamander.

Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg, he will turn you into a tree.

Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nellbegqueeglargsoghittarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never sing in autumn.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Never gather five eagles near doors.

5. Never wear violet stockings.

Tonkmapham is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unjust beaver.

Tonkmapham created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkmapham, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonkmapham, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tonkmapham's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tonkmapham's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove boots before touching aluminium.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Tonkmapham loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not travel during autumn.

Bonbogpibbog is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring crane.

Bonbogpibbog created light four years ago.

If you believe in Bonbogpibbog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonbogpibbog, it will cry a lot.

Bonbogpibbog's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bonbogpibbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat beans.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about planets.

Cedzogtit is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, stupid hamster.

Cedzogtit created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedzogtit, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedzogtit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cedzogtit's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cedzogtit's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in spring.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Never think ill of sick seals.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

Pogabpop is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, slow beaver.

Pogabpop created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Pogabpop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pogabpop, she will not invite you to parties.

Pogabpop's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Pogabpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

3. Never cross rivers at midnight.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Heed all dreams.