Danwonlinfom is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, merciful clam.

Danwonlinfom created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Danwonlinfom, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Danwonlinfom, he will have a low opinion of you.

Danwonlinfom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Danwonlinfom's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry geese.

2. Moths are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not dye your hair yellow.

Rutxemflam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, competent cow.

Rutxemflam created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Rutxemflam, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutxemflam, it will cry a lot.

Rutxemflam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Rutxemflam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not keep eight ducks in a large pit.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rutxemflam.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Never look in ponds.

Bafponpas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil swallow.

Bafponpas created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafponpas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bafponpas, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bafponpas' most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bafponpas' Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bafponpas.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near cats while wearing black skirts and balancing eight titanium spheres on your head.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.

Sagbatnart is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, fussy clam.

Sagbatnart created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Sagbatnart, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sagbatnart, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sagbatnart's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Sagbatnart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine whales approach from the west.

2. Never paint your legs indigo.

3. Erect three gold sculptures of Sagbatnart on top of important buildings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.

Yimliblib is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, passionate hummingbird.

Yimliblib created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimliblib, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yimliblib, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yimliblib's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yimliblib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

Cadpignab is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, duplicitous naga.

Cadpignab created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadpignab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cadpignab, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Cadpignab's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cadpignab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bananas.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cadpignab.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Tinqueegcub is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, almighty raccoon.

Tinqueegcub created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinqueegcub, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tinqueegcub, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tinqueegcub's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tinqueegcub's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not listen to music.

Fobponfut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish coyote.

Fobponfut created a charm quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fobponfut, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fobponfut, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Fobponfut's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fobponfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always wear green.

5. Never wear fawn kilts.