Mipyimvidweehapfat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, sage zebra.

Mipyimvidweehapfat created the Tadpole Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mipyimvidweehapfat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mipyimvidweehapfat, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Mipyimvidweehapfat's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Mipyimvidweehapfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. Pray towards the south.

Citbuttal is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, intelligent badger.

Citbuttal created the world seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citbuttal, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Citbuttal, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Citbuttal's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Citbuttal's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Do not consume corn at dawn.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Citbuttal in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never gather three seals near doors.

Poptinmum is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sapient rhinoceros.

Poptinmum created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Poptinmum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Poptinmum, it will try to impress you with trees.

Poptinmum's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Poptinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo foxes for they are unholy.

2. Run away if eight frogs approach from the east.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Learn three new languages a year.

Mabxucten is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty dolphin.

Mabxucten created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabxucten, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Mabxucten, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mabxucten's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Mabxucten's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple mice, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear mauve clothing.

3. Do not sprint at crossroads.

4. Never go into cyan rooms.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

Monfettarp is a god.

It takes the form of a small, resourceful bat.

Monfettarp created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monfettarp, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Monfettarp, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Monfettarp's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Monfettarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place aubergines upon stone.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never cross rivers at midday.

4. Do not resist balance.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Vinquatlik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, awe-inspiring butterfly.

Vinquatlik created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vinquatlik, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Vinquatlik, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vinquatlik's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Vinquatlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of elders.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Vinquatlik on top of all buildings.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

Jenbomlak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic porpoise.

Jenbomlak created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenbomlak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jenbomlak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jenbomlak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Jenbomlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

4. Never paint your back purple.

5. Feed all hungry mites.

Bapsiswot is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish cow.

Bapsiswot created the Milkyway six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapsiswot, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bapsiswot, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bapsiswot's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Bapsiswot's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while clean.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never run near foxes.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.