Pondublarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive grasshopper.

Pondublarn created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pondublarn, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pondublarn, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pondublarn's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pondublarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never mention mites.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

Mannurtkoptik is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy hare.

Mannurtkoptik created the Andromeda Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mannurtkoptik, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mannurtkoptik, he will cry a lot.

Mannurtkoptik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Mannurtkoptik's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.

Sanbadhab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering snake.

Sanbadhab created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbadhab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sanbadhab, it will turn you into a plant.

Sanbadhab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Sanbadhab's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.

Bappidhak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous gorilla.

Bappidhak created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bappidhak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bappidhak, she will ignore you.

Bappidhak's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bappidhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing magenta scarves.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

5. Never gather five snakes near bridges.

Veendubbass is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, emotional mink.

Veendubbass created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veendubbass, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Veendubbass, he will laugh at you.

Veendubbass' most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Veendubbass' Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews.

2. You must pray to Veendubbass seven times a day.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Dintitflag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, idiotic swan.

Dintitflag created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dintitflag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dintitflag, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Dintitflag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dintitflag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not speak about turnips.

5. Do not gather at towers at midday.

Hatbondit is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest eagle.

Hatbondit created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hatbondit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hatbondit, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Hatbondit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Hatbondit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Hatbondit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not keep six dogs in a large pit.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always take life seriously.

Tailgarfun is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful mongoose.

Tailgarfun created a bottom quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tailgarfun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tailgarfun, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tailgarfun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tailgarfun's Holy Commandments

1. Tailgarfun loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. You must pray to Tailgarfun six times a day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not consume onions at dawn.