Bogbadbud is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, competent jackal.

Bogbadbud created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogbadbud, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bogbadbud, he will turn you into a worm.

Bogbadbud's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bogbadbud's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Run away from pink voles, for they are unholy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.

Bemflattin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, wise tortoise.

Bemflattin created a charm quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemflattin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bemflattin, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bemflattin's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bemflattin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not consume rice at dawn.

3. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing violet stockings and balancing five silver spheres on your arms.

5. Always store nuts above ground.

Xuckmisvol is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, all-knowing narwhal.

Xuckmisvol created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckmisvol, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuckmisvol, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Xuckmisvol's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Xuckmisvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your chest with pink markings.

2. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

3. Always obey Xuckmisvol's priests.

4. Never write about fluid mechanics.

5. Never prepare lentils during autumn.

Botyartgep is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind dolphin.

Botyartgep created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botyartgep, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Botyartgep, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Botyartgep's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Botyartgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after sharks.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Botyartgep.

5. Do not kill seals.

Fodtanbim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking horse.

Fodtanbim created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Fodtanbim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fodtanbim, she will destroy your home planet.

Fodtanbim's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Fodtanbim's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Never stain your legs with yellow.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Never mix garlic with blood.

Teenpagxin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient swallow.

Teenpagxin created an atom four years ago.

If you believe in Teenpagxin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenpagxin, he will be very sad.

Teenpagxin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Teenpagxin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from magenta goats for they are unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never stain your legs with violet.

4. You must love Teenpagxin.

5. Never mention manatees.

Nilhoglegfarlin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic octopus.

Nilhoglegfarlin created the Virgo Supercluster four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilhoglegfarlin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilhoglegfarlin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nilhoglegfarlin's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Nilhoglegfarlin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

Nakshavbin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, vain gerbil.

Nakshavbin created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakshavbin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nakshavbin, she will turn you into a duck.

Nakshavbin's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nakshavbin's Holy Commandments

1. Remain standing during prayer.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always help dogs.