Venquafpom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unfair clam.

Venquafpom created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Venquafpom, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Venquafpom, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Venquafpom's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Venquafpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never proclaim while facing north.

Nillarplarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane shark.

Nillarplarn created a quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillarplarn, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillarplarn, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nillarplarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nillarplarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Nillarplarn on top of all buildings.

3. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

Monjigquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, astonishing centipede.

Monjigquaf created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Monjigquaf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Monjigquaf, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Monjigquaf's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Monjigquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

2. Do not consume onions at dawn.

3. Monjigquaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Mignutged is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust capybara.

Mignutged created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mignutged, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Mignutged, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Mignutged's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Mignutged's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mignutged.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

3. Retreat if eight doves approach from the south.

4. Do not keep three sheep in a large pit.

5. Never chant in the presence of shrews.

Tipfudmab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered meerkat.

Tipfudmab created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipfudmab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tipfudmab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tipfudmab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tipfudmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your chest with violet.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

Yarp is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, bad-tempered mink.

Yarp created the planet Saturn seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yarp, he will send minions to preach to you.

Yarp's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

4. Never eat peanuts on holy days.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous narwhal.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg, she will think nothing of it.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

3. Never write about moons.

4. You must love Tadsadbed Japyamgep Cetbondossquaffentarg.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near swans while wearing black kilts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your legs.

Yartfebril is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, effective penguin.

Yartfebril created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Yartfebril, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yartfebril, it will be very sad.

Yartfebril's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yartfebril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

2. Yartfebril loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

3. Always treat snails with great respect.

4. Never talk about dark energy near mice while wearing mauve hats.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.