Ciplipkon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, merciless yak.

Ciplipkon created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Ciplipkon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ciplipkon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ciplipkon's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ciplipkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear scarves marked with magenta.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Wignilloop is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, slow eagle.

Wignilloop created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wignilloop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wignilloop, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wignilloop's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wignilloop's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always count to six before sleeping.

3. Do not keep seven shrews in a large pit.

4. Never gather five porpoises in one place.

5. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

Hubveenbitfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-knowing dove.

Hubveenbitfoss created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubveenbitfoss, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hubveenbitfoss, he will send you a sign.

Hubveenbitfoss' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hubveenbitfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear copper on your body.

2. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

3. Hubveenbitfoss loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

Cepboprillbindub is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable alligator.

Cepboprillbindub created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepboprillbindub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cepboprillbindub, it will refuse to believe in you.

Cepboprillbindub's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Cepboprillbindub's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Never talk about geese.

4. Always obey Cepboprillbindub's priests.

5. Do not record secrets concerning asteroids.

Zannurtrill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witless alligator.

Zannurtrill created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zannurtrill, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zannurtrill, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Zannurtrill's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zannurtrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place bananas upon stone.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not kill aardvarks.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Jarnbancap is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous slug.

Jarnbancap created the Sunflower Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbancap, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jarnbancap, she will send minions to preach to you.

Jarnbancap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jarnbancap's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Never allow voles to witness sacred rites.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jarnbancap in the centre of the settlement.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.

Dussfassaw is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, intelligent dugong.

Dussfassaw created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussfassaw, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dussfassaw, she will turn you into a dog.

Dussfassaw's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dussfassaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never eat cherries on holy days.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never prepare limes during summer.

5. Do not take Dussfassaw's name in vain.

Cemjanjinfas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, two-faced dryad.

Cemjanjinfas created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemjanjinfas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cemjanjinfas, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cemjanjinfas' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cemjanjinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never gather seven nematodes in one place.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not prepare bread while filled with envy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.