Shavankondob is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, sapient frog.

Shavankondob created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavankondob, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Shavankondob, she will turn you into a plant.

Shavankondob's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Shavankondob's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Never prepare peas during spring.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Shavankondob in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear orange shoes.

Stikbassvol is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, wise alligator.

Stikbassvol created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikbassvol, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stikbassvol, she will not care.

Stikbassvol's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stikbassvol's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

4. Always remove jumpers before touching titanium.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Jamfossmip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, contented gerbil.

Jamfossmip created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfossmip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamfossmip, she will turn you into a snail.

Jamfossmip's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jamfossmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

4. Never gather four pigs near towers.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

Godhasbincubsakyarpmig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witless snail.

Godhasbincubsakyarpmig created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Godhasbincubsakyarpmig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Godhasbincubsakyarpmig, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Godhasbincubsakyarpmig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Godhasbincubsakyarpmig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat rice on fasting days.

2. Never chant in the presence of elders.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing red shoes and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

Natmetnad is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, moody penguin.

Natmetnad created the Sombrero Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Natmetnad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Natmetnad, it will throw large rocks at you.

Natmetnad's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Natmetnad's Holy Commandments

1. Always store melons above ground.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. You must love Natmetnad.

5. Never write about moons.

Zoghimyakflamdam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, humane gnu.

Zoghimyakflamdam created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoghimyakflamdam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zoghimyakflamdam, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zoghimyakflamdam's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zoghimyakflamdam's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never gather four cats near towers.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

Yikmobfod is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, clever wombat.

Yikmobfod created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yikmobfod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yikmobfod, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yikmobfod's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yikmobfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Do not place figs upon stone.

4. Do not name children after goats.

5. Erect three tin sculptures of Yikmobfod on top of important buildings.

Wadsag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unjust gnu.

Wadsag created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadsag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wadsag, he will turn you into a duck.

Wadsag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wadsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never think about optics near pigs while wearing fawn kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not name children after birds.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wadsag.