Dusskabgep is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, emotional naga.

Dusskabgep created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dusskabgep, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dusskabgep, he will turn you into a snail.

Dusskabgep's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dusskabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing white shirts.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Dusskabgep in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

Fidkoplab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, contented armadillo.

Fidkoplab created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Fidkoplab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fidkoplab, it will torture you forever.

Fidkoplab's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fidkoplab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

5. Hide if five squirrels approach from the south.

Sagbaport Poppomnibflam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, annoying goat.

Sagbaport Poppomnibflam created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagbaport Poppomnibflam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sagbaport Poppomnibflam, it will throw large rocks at you.

Sagbaport Poppomnibflam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sagbaport Poppomnibflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cucumbers during spring.

2. Never talk about chlorophyll.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

Hudtargomt is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, merciful wyvern.

Hudtargomt created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Hudtargomt, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hudtargomt, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hudtargomt's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Hudtargomt's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hudtargomt four times a day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

Flaglop Japkemxen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthinking dragon.

Flaglop Japkemxen created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flaglop Japkemxen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flaglop Japkemxen, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flaglop Japkemxen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Flaglop Japkemxen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Flaglop Japkemxen.

2. Always treat sheep with great respect.

3. Hide from blue goats for they are unholy.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.

Pigtettibaf is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, overgenerous cobra.

Pigtettibaf created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigtettibaf, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pigtettibaf, he will torture you forever.

Pigtettibaf's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Pigtettibaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat nuts.

2. Pigtettibaf loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Never allow great tits to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Pigtettibaf in the centre of the settlement.

Did is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, clever toad.

Did created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Did, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Did, it will boil you in a big pot.

Did's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Did's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

3. Always remove dresses before touching titanium.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

Vedflow is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, resourceful wasp.

Vedflow created a photon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedflow, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vedflow, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vedflow's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Vedflow's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Always act with patience.

3. Always wear white.

4. Run away from turquoise nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.