Sad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish giraffe.

Sad created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sad, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sad, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Sad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Sad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Sad in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

Miggunfom Quafweeyar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, stupid fox.

Miggunfom Quafweeyar created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Miggunfom Quafweeyar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Miggunfom Quafweeyar, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Miggunfom Quafweeyar's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Miggunfom Quafweeyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black ear rings on sacred days.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide if seven mites approach from the north.

Dinnutsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, wise deer.

Dinnutsaw created an atom nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinnutsaw, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dinnutsaw, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Dinnutsaw's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Dinnutsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint at rivers.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not keep six geese in a large pit.

5. Always act with patience.

Carlipmetbom is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast dragon.

Carlipmetbom created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Carlipmetbom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Carlipmetbom, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Carlipmetbom's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Carlipmetbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

2. Do not hurt tortoises.

3. Never gather five squirrels in one place.

4. Never handle platinum while unclean.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Bitflisstik Ragtagveg is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate bird.

Bitflisstik Ragtagveg created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitflisstik Ragtagveg, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bitflisstik Ragtagveg, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bitflisstik Ragtagveg's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Bitflisstik Ragtagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always wash your hands before prayer.

3. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Fliggomkab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, conceited cobra.

Fliggomkab created the Sunflower Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fliggomkab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fliggomkab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Fliggomkab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Fliggomkab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fliggomkab.

2. Never wear fawn jumpers on sacred days.

3. Always store bread above ground.

4. Never feed lots of grapes to hamsters while wearing purple tights.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fliggomkab.

Yokratlap Faddibgunnut is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering finch.

Yokratlap Faddibgunnut created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokratlap Faddibgunnut, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yokratlap Faddibgunnut, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yokratlap Faddibgunnut's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Yokratlap Faddibgunnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near ducks while wearing blue scarves and balancing three silver spheres on your arms.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

Quartsogfot is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, sapient hippopotamus.

Quartsogfot created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quartsogfot, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quartsogfot, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Quartsogfot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quartsogfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear rings marked with pink.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.