Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless gorilla.

Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near sheep while wearing fawn corsets and balancing eight nickel spheres on your feet.

2. Put Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib first in all things.

3. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

4. Do not prepare lentils while filled with joy.

5. You must love Xuckartbonk Larpjapcut Baplib.

Bennurquart is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, contented seal.

Bennurquart created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bennurquart, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bennurquart, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bennurquart's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bennurquart's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bananas.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

3. Erect seven lead sculptures of Bennurquart on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Biffumced is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive otter.

Biffumced created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biffumced, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Biffumced, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Biffumced's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Biffumced's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not wear cyan clothing.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Run away from brown goats, for they are unholy.

Besthimtar is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, able rhinoceros.

Besthimtar created an up quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Besthimtar, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Besthimtar, she will come to you in dreams.

Besthimtar's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Besthimtar's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not take Besthimtar's name in vain.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Hasgilcan is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying warg.

Hasgilcan created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hasgilcan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasgilcan, it will make you grow a tail.

Hasgilcan's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hasgilcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not laugh at crossroads.

Hastarpfad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, temperamental mink.

Hastarpfad created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Hastarpfad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hastarpfad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hastarpfad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Hastarpfad's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about garlic.

4. Always help goats in need.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

Nangeptettidambatlik is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent swan.

Nangeptettidambatlik created dark energy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nangeptettidambatlik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nangeptettidambatlik, he will turn you into a plant.

Nangeptettidambatlik's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Nangeptettidambatlik's Holy Commandments

1. Put Nangeptettidambatlik first in all things.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Do not wear ear rings marked with gray.

4. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

5. Never cross rivers at midnight.

Sattipbat is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome centaur.

Sattipbat created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sattipbat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sattipbat, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sattipbat's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Sattipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the north.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.