Bidvidbop is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, capable hyena.

Bidvidbop created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bidvidbop, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bidvidbop, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bidvidbop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bidvidbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Put Bidvidbop first in all things.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Bidvidbop loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

Zedfossbossont is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, tiresome centipede.

Zedfossbossont created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedfossbossont, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zedfossbossont, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zedfossbossont's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zedfossbossont's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove scarves before touching copper.

2. Do not record names concerning galaxies.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Zedfossbossont on top of all buildings.

4. Never gather eight shrews in one place.

5. Do not name children after doves.

Kamyimhom is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, grumpy manatee.

Kamyimhom created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kamyimhom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kamyimhom, it will send minions to preach to you.

Kamyimhom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Kamyimhom's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green eagles, for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Always store gooseberries above ground.

Canquartgov is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome lobster.

Canquartgov created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canquartgov, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Canquartgov, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Canquartgov's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Canquartgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

Wegwotdad is a god.

She takes the form of a large, self-assured dragonfly.

Wegwotdad created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wegwotdad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wegwotdad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Wegwotdad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Wegwotdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about tapirs.

2. Always act with patience when addressing children.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Never leap in the presence of birds.

5. Learn five new languages a year.

Xucwadced is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring horse.

Xucwadced created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucwadced, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xucwadced, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Xucwadced's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Xucwadced's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries on holy days.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

Japflapgunhabbastteenxem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, strong scorpion.

Japflapgunhabbastteenxem created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japflapgunhabbastteenxem, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Japflapgunhabbastteenxem, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Japflapgunhabbastteenxem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Japflapgunhabbastteenxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to eight before sleeping.

2. Never think ill of sick rats.

3. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

4. Hide if four tapirs approach from the north.

5. Always wash your feet before prayer.

Kik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, idiotic bat.

Kik created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kik, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kik, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kik's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Kik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear dresses marked with purple.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Kik.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.