Baggonsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, quiet wren.

Baggonsaf created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Baggonsaf, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Baggonsaf, he will strike you with lightening.

Baggonsaf's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Baggonsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your arms with indigo markings.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near goats while wearing green tights and balancing eight iron spheres on your head.

3. Worship no other gods but Baggonsaf.

4. Never point your legs toward the south during prayer.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.

Sugnartbot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, confident weasel.

Sugnartbot created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugnartbot, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sugnartbot, she will manifest in front of you.

Sugnartbot's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sugnartbot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

Ceblibbed is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, thoughtless cow.

Ceblibbed created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceblibbed, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ceblibbed, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ceblibbed's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Ceblibbed's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not listen to music.

Citrenlid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, sapient hamster.

Citrenlid created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Citrenlid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Citrenlid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Citrenlid's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Citrenlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of elders.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

4. You must love Citrenlid.

5. Always wear yellow.

Gedbingar is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous wolf.

Gedbingar created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gedbingar, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gedbingar, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gedbingar's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Gedbingar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Do not place bread upon stone.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never wear turquoise skirts on sacred days.

5. Always take life seriously.

Dimfubgof is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, proud jellyfish.

Dimfubgof created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dimfubgof, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dimfubgof, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dimfubgof's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Dimfubgof's Holy Commandments

1. Dimfubgof must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

4. Never chant in spring.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing blue shoes and balancing nine platinum spheres on your feet.

Lipstragton is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, capable cobra.

Lipstragton created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Lipstragton, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Lipstragton, she will turn you into a goat.

Lipstragton's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Lipstragton's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

2. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing tights.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with anger.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Do not kill tortoises.

Pomquafhinjat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fast beaver.

Pomquafhinjat created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pomquafhinjat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pomquafhinjat, she will turn you into a frog.

Pomquafhinjat's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Pomquafhinjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck indigo.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never stain your face with gray.