Vilgomkad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, fast whale.

Vilgomkad created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilgomkad, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vilgomkad, it will have a low opinion of you.

Vilgomkad's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Vilgomkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

2. Never point your legs toward the west during prayer.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing boots.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vilgomkad.

Fennurtweg is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, blissful tortoise.

Fennurtweg created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fennurtweg, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fennurtweg, it will turn you into a frog.

Fennurtweg's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fennurtweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never leap in the presence of grasshopers.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, fussy horse.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotcissfetzigflathotbig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fotcissfetzigflathotbig, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fotcissfetzigflathotbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing magenta coats and balancing three silver spheres on your hands.

5. Do not bounce at rivers.

Feb is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, ruthless slug.

Feb created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Feb, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Feb, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Feb's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Feb's Holy Commandments

1. Always store lentils above ground.

2. Worship no other gods but Feb.

3. Never wear brown jumpers.

4. Always treat horses with great respect.

5. Never think about nebulae.

Metsasspag Figcedflis is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate wyvern.

Metsasspag Figcedflis created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Metsasspag Figcedflis, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metsasspag Figcedflis, he will turn you into a frog.

Metsasspag Figcedflis' most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Metsasspag Figcedflis' Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Put Metsasspag Figcedflis first in all things.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not place peas upon stone.

Legtigbidgov is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, intelligent monkey.

Legtigbidgov created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legtigbidgov, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Legtigbidgov, it will ignore you.

Legtigbidgov's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Legtigbidgov's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick seals.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Legtigbidgov.

5. Shun those given to greed.

Gadpadsat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, slow octopus.

Gadpadsat created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadpadsat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gadpadsat, he will ignore you.

Gadpadsat's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gadpadsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never gather four rats near walls.

3. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

4. You must love Gadpadsat.

5. Never paint your chest yellow.

Fotfarntam is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able mouse.

Fotfarntam created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotfarntam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fotfarntam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fotfarntam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Fotfarntam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fotfarntam five times a day.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never mix rice with blood.

4. Never skip near cats.

5. Never gather seven monkeys in one place.