Gidsadfit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, almighty goose.

Gidsadfit created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gidsadfit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gidsadfit, she will turn you into a rat.

Gidsadfit's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gidsadfit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gidsadfit.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

Laktithun is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fussy gerbil.

Laktithun created the planet Venus three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Laktithun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Laktithun, she will manifest in front of you.

Laktithun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Laktithun's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Always obey Laktithun's priests.

5. Never prepare bananas during summer.

Davyartbam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unjust bat.

Davyartbam created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Davyartbam, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Davyartbam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Davyartbam's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Davyartbam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Davyartbam.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not wear skirts marked with indigo.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Pig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, ill-tempered dragonfly.

Pig created the solar system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pig, she will have a low opinion of you.

Pig's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Pig's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silicon while unclean.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never proclaim while facing west.

Zimjamyog is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, idiotic capybara.

Zimjamyog created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimjamyog, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zimjamyog, he will make you grow a tail.

Zimjamyog's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Zimjamyog's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never paint your arms white.

5. Never think about nebulae.

Botsanget is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, boastful centipede.

Botsanget created a Higgs boson two million years ago.

If you believe in Botsanget, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Botsanget, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Botsanget's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Botsanget's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white geese for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Never mark doors with fawn.

4. Never think ill of sick frogs.

5. Do not listen to music.

Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless fox.

Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik, it will laugh at you.

Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Ziglamzim Zigmilcissyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow moths to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not step barefoot upon white earth.

3. Never run in the presence of dogs.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not fashion tools from tin.

Laklegzangeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, sapient coyote.

Laklegzangeb created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Laklegzangeb, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Laklegzangeb, she will turn you into a snail.

Laklegzangeb's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Laklegzangeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Worship no other gods but Laklegzangeb.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Laklegzangeb.

5. Never feed oranges to bats while wearing brown skirts.