Laptitdog is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, moody dragon.

Laptitdog created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Laptitdog, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Laptitdog, he will turn you into a hamster.

Laptitdog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Laptitdog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Laptitdog.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing corsets.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

Cidtitsissak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart hyena.

Cidtitsissak created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidtitsissak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cidtitsissak, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cidtitsissak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Cidtitsissak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never jump in spring.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never wear pink corsets on sacred days.

Rowmityarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, flying yak.

Rowmityarp created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Rowmityarp, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rowmityarp, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Rowmityarp's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Rowmityarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowmityarp.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

Wotnibkim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil crab.

Wotnibkim created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnibkim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wotnibkim, she will be mildly annoyed.

Wotnibkim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wotnibkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never gather three shrews near wells.

4. Never feed lots of rice to grasshopers while wearing yellow rings.

5. Do not take Wotnibkim's name in vain.

Wikominquill is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, weak unicorn.

Wikominquill created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Wikominquill, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wikominquill, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Wikominquill's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Wikominquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Hide if three rats approach from the east.

3. Put Wikominquill first in all things.

4. Do not jump at mountains.

5. Never allow seals to sleep beneath your roof.

Sterpastad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish bat.

Sterpastad created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterpastad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sterpastad, he will turn you into a mole.

Sterpastad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sterpastad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

Kaparnflig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, thoughtless raven.

Kaparnflig created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kaparnflig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kaparnflig, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Kaparnflig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kaparnflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Put Kaparnflig first in all things.

5. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

Mipgatmab is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, kind yak.

Mipgatmab created the Large Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Mipgatmab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mipgatmab, it will curse you with boils.

Mipgatmab's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Mipgatmab's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Do not stand on grass.