Yogfedpop is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish hamster.

Yogfedpop created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogfedpop, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yogfedpop, he will turn you into a dog.

Yogfedpop's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Yogfedpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Hide from turquoise rats for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

Viltunkik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical finch.

Viltunkik created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Viltunkik, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Viltunkik, it will turn you into a mole.

Viltunkik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Viltunkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare figs while wearing skirts.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not prepare melons while filled with envy.

5. Run away from indigo aardvarks, for they are unholy.

Gennigdog Homceb is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, two-faced hamster.

Gennigdog Homceb created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gennigdog Homceb, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gennigdog Homceb, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gennigdog Homceb's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gennigdog Homceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bread.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Put Gennigdog Homceb first in all things.

4. Never allow cats to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never eat grapes.

Rilgedcudmif is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, flying badger.

Rilgedcudmif created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Rilgedcudmif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rilgedcudmif, he will destroy your favourite star.

Rilgedcudmif's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Rilgedcudmif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Never chant near ducks.

Listtin is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, resourceful yak.

Listtin created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Listtin, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Listtin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Listtin's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Listtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of tortoises.

2. Never remain bowed at dusk.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never wear fawn shirts on sacred days.

5. Do not keep three swans in a large pit.

Belldavbom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, stupid bear.

Belldavbom created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Belldavbom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Belldavbom, she will not care at all.

Belldavbom's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Belldavbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare wheat while wearing shorts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Belldavbom in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.

Nangudhim is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, wise porpoise.

Nangudhim created time and space six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nangudhim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nangudhim, he will turn you into a mole.

Nangudhim's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nangudhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing at forests.

2. Do not take Nangudhim's name in vain.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nangudhim.

4. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Wantincet is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, clever rat.

Wantincet created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Wantincet, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wantincet, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Wantincet's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Wantincet's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear orange ear rings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

4. Never gather seven ants near doors.

5. Never eat bark.