Flowbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident mink.

Flowbon created the Whirlpool Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Flowbon, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flowbon, he will refuse to believe in you.

Flowbon's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Flowbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Do not take Flowbon's name in vain.

5. Always wear magenta.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring lizard.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab created vertebrates three million years ago.

If you believe in Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick tapirs.

2. Hide from turquoise ants for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your face magenta.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladfenzancidsadmegbap Gongiggab.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Gudlipgunbus is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest pig.

Gudlipgunbus created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudlipgunbus, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gudlipgunbus, he will turn you into a tree.

Gudlipgunbus' most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Gudlipgunbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after sharks.

2. Never adorn your legs with mauve markings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed lots of onions to gulls while wearing white dresses.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Bogcanhon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-assured faun.

Bogcanhon created everything that exists two million years ago.

If you believe in Bogcanhon, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bogcanhon, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogcanhon's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bogcanhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to nine before sleeping.

2. Do not place nuts upon stone.

3. Never sing in the presence of sheep.

4. Never feed melons to ducks while wearing kilts.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

Femtagjen is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet gnu.

Femtagjen created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femtagjen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Femtagjen, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Femtagjen's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Femtagjen's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about planets.

Stan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, competent troll.

Stan created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Stan, it will turn you into a snail.

Stan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Stan's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with violet.

2. Stan loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never allow dolphins to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

Narlcittun is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective deer.

Narlcittun created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlcittun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narlcittun, she will not care at all.

Narlcittun's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Narlcittun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narlcittun.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Narlcittun.

Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awe-inspiring cow.

Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Poghunrill Tafbotqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise stockings.

2. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with pigs.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help sick capybaras.

5. Feed all hungry snakes.