Latstipwad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-confident sheep.

Latstipwad created viruses nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Latstipwad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Latstipwad, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Latstipwad's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Latstipwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Never think about solid mechanics.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Never eat bark.

Lognabsug is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing jellyfish.

Lognabsug created a charm quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Lognabsug, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lognabsug, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lognabsug's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lognabsug's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Lognabsug in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not kill mice.

3. Do not hurt dolphins.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

5. Never laugh near whales.

Gunrotomt is a god.

She takes the form of a small, fussy armadillo.

Gunrotomt created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Gunrotomt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gunrotomt, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gunrotomt's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gunrotomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Never think about chlorophyll.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Gunrotomt in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always obey Gunrotomt's priests.

5. Never write about asteroids.

Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate finch.

Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Always wear violet.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Jadxucktenbinpadpibbed must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never look at asteroids.

Mapdanfid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, loving goat.

Mapdanfid created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapdanfid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapdanfid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Mapdanfid's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Mapdanfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms cyan.

2. Retreat if six tapirs approach from the west.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never talk about enzymes.

5. Put Mapdanfid first in all things.

Nillsawbaf is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome penguin.

Nillsawbaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillsawbaf, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nillsawbaf, it will laugh at you.

Nillsawbaf's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Nillsawbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear mauve clothing.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing green hats and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near snakes while wearing violet coats and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.

Veenhogarn is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, confident spider.

Veenhogarn created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenhogarn, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Veenhogarn, he will jump up and down on your head.

Veenhogarn's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Veenhogarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest violet.

2. Never think about special relativity near ducks while wearing indigo trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your neck.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Veenhogarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.

Rotlakstik is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent grasshopper.

Rotlakstik created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rotlakstik, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rotlakstik, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Rotlakstik's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Rotlakstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look after injured ants.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never paint your feet white.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.