Negbidcud Zaghimvan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fast snake.

Negbidcud Zaghimvan created light seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negbidcud Zaghimvan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Negbidcud Zaghimvan, she will turn you into a slug.

Negbidcud Zaghimvan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Negbidcud Zaghimvan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always store onions above ground.

3. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing indigo shorts and balancing nine platinum spheres on your back.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Rotbetflap is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring hare.

Rotbetflap created water three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rotbetflap, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rotbetflap, it will be very unhappy.

Rotbetflap's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Rotbetflap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mark doors with gray.

3. Do not gather at walls at midnight.

4. Do not record secrets concerning black holes.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

Dognegfit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, kind parrot.

Dognegfit created Asia four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dognegfit, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dognegfit, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dognegfit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Dognegfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Hide if eight dolphins approach from the west.

5. Never look at stars.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, resourceful elephant.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabvogvidtonklantapstik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tabvogvidtonklantapstik, it will turn you into a tree.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tabvogvidtonklantapstik's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not name children after geese.

4. Always remove ear rings before touching silver.

5. Never touch blood while unclean.

Fasvengebgam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful octopus.

Fasvengebgam created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasvengebgam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fasvengebgam, he will make you grow a tail.

Fasvengebgam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fasvengebgam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five cats approach from the west.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not name children after monkeys.

4. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

5. Always help capybaras in need.

Appcenkap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful wombat.

Appcenkap created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Appcenkap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Appcenkap, he will try to impress you with trees.

Appcenkap's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Appcenkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention nematodes.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not eat carrots.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near tortoises while wearing blue corsets and balancing five zinc spheres on your head.

5. Erect three carbon sculptures of Appcenkap on top of important buildings.

Fenmegciss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish dolphin.

Fenmegciss created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenmegciss, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fenmegciss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fenmegciss' most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fenmegciss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine gulls approach from the south.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think ill of sick sheep.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing gray jumpers.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, almighty penguin.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Withaphapfatmidwigpin, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Withaphapfatmidwigpin, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Withaphapfatmidwigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Never record names.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.