Cutflagran is a god.

It takes the form of a small, compassionate gnu.

Cutflagran created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutflagran, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cutflagran, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Cutflagran's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Cutflagran's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Cutflagran on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Dudgumrillcanjabgen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish naga.

Dudgumrillcanjabgen created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dudgumrillcanjabgen, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dudgumrillcanjabgen, it will send minions to preach to you.

Dudgumrillcanjabgen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dudgumrillcanjabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick badgers.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Dudgumrillcanjabgen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Learn six new languages a year.

Wanquimcim is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing toad.

Wanquimcim created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanquimcim, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wanquimcim, it will destroy your home planet.

Wanquimcim's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Wanquimcim's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never sit near turtles.

5. Run away if nine ducks approach from the east.

Likmonpon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, competent cobra.

Likmonpon created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Likmonpon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Likmonpon, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Likmonpon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Likmonpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. You must pray to Likmonpon eight times a day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Likmonpon.

5. Never talk about doves.

Jankindut is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless dragonfly.

Jankindut created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jankindut, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jankindut, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jankindut's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Jankindut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never wear white ear rings.

5. Never look in ponds.

Davbutbug is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional otter.

Davbutbug created tapeworms five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davbutbug, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Davbutbug, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Davbutbug's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Davbutbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair gray.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide if five pigs approach from the west.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never jump in the presence of birds.

Jopwanbusved is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, caring wasp.

Jopwanbusved created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopwanbusved, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jopwanbusved, he will turn you into a duck.

Jopwanbusved's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Jopwanbusved's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. Run away from indigo whales, for they are unholy.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.

Bellgenran is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent clam.

Bellgenran created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellgenran, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bellgenran, he will manifest in front of you.

Bellgenran's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bellgenran's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never write about archaea.