Afhinflat Yarplapwan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unselfish bird.

Afhinflat Yarplapwan created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afhinflat Yarplapwan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Afhinflat Yarplapwan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Afhinflat Yarplapwan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Afhinflat Yarplapwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Never wear gray jumpers on sacred days.

3. Never go into red rooms.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with pride.

Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish lizard.

Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Wikyakrenlip Wadflisbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never speak aloud of secrets.

3. Do not prepare peas while wearing ear rings.

4. Never adorn your chest with orange markings.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Ligsigdid is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, conceited pig.

Ligsigdid created the Sombrero Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligsigdid, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ligsigdid, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ligsigdid's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Ligsigdid's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must love Ligsigdid.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Gam is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair seal.

Gam created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gam, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gam, it will ignore you.

Gam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Gam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to manatees while wearing tights.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Do not keep nine snails in a large pit.

4. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Tarpbomkop is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciful shark.

Tarpbomkop created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbomkop, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tarpbomkop, he will turn you into a puffin.

Tarpbomkop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Tarpbomkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tarpbomkop's name in vain.

2. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

3. Never feed bread to nematodes while wearing fawn coats.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing blue skirts.

5. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

Jamtifbom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful jellyfish.

Jamtifbom created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamtifbom, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jamtifbom, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jamtifbom's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Jamtifbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with turquoise.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Hide from pink eagles for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. You must pray to Jamtifbom four times a day.

Basshengum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sage otter.

Basshengum created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Basshengum, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Basshengum, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Basshengum's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Basshengum's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always remove shoes before touching silver.

3. Never feed bread to turtles while wearing green skirts.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Doves are not to be trusted.

Satpodlig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, tranquil armadillo.

Satpodlig created tapeworms three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satpodlig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Satpodlig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Satpodlig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Satpodlig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick great tits.

2. Always treat moths with great respect.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pray only in firelight.