Didyokwad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, proud guinea pig.

Didyokwad created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Didyokwad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Didyokwad, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Didyokwad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Didyokwad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Run away from white tapirs, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing pink tights and balancing six zinc spheres on your legs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

Bafzodhom is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, duplicitous tapir.

Bafzodhom created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafzodhom, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bafzodhom, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bafzodhom's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bafzodhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Put Bafzodhom first in all things.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing white dresses and balancing five copper spheres on your head.

4. Never wear yellow kilts.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic goose.

Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Fasfodkap Yokhincadflan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four dogs approach from the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always help sick manatees.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.

Fidvindin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish newt.

Fidvindin created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidvindin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fidvindin, he will curse you with boils.

Fidvindin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Fidvindin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from lead.

2. Never stain your legs with mauve.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never hurt frogs.

Ciprulrut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart armadillo.

Ciprulrut created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Ciprulrut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ciprulrut, she will turn you into a dog.

Ciprulrut's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Ciprulrut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Ciprulrut in the centre of the settlement.

2. Run away if four ants approach from the north.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ciprulrut.

Mingofpak is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered horse.

Mingofpak created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mingofpak, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Mingofpak, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mingofpak's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Mingofpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never allow doves to witness sacred rites.

3. Always wear green.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Always help grasshopers.

Midstikfas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless monkey.

Midstikfas created the Tadpole Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Midstikfas, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Midstikfas, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Midstikfas' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Midstikfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow capybaras to witness sacred rites.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, passionate lion.

Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Wadbasshottifcemvanpakfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never speak aloud of signs.

3. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. You must never eat apples.