Wabquillmad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing crow.

Wabquillmad created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabquillmad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wabquillmad, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wabquillmad's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Wabquillmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to moths while wearing jumpers.

2. Never think about dark matter near doves while wearing white stockings and balancing four zinc spheres on your feet.

3. Do not sprint at forests.

4. Never adorn your face with violet markings.

5. Always wear indigo.

Bemflowomindap is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, strong wren.

Bemflowomindap created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemflowomindap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemflowomindap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bemflowomindap's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bemflowomindap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Bemflowomindap on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Gudbuspang is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic troll.

Gudbuspang created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudbuspang, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gudbuspang, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gudbuspang's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gudbuspang's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

2. Do not name children after grasshopers.

3. Never fashion tools from clay.

4. Never feed figs to aardvarks while wearing pink coats.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Stafyatpag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid fox.

Stafyatpag created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafyatpag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stafyatpag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Stafyatpag's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stafyatpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

2. Stafyatpag loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Stafyatpag loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about asteroids.

Hakdapbig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, thoughtless fly.

Hakdapbig created bats four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakdapbig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hakdapbig, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Hakdapbig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hakdapbig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Hakdapbig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Hakdapbig loves foxes, so they must be respected.

4. Never adorn your hands with magenta markings.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-confident owl.

Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bopgillarplatbepwapvab Tigstertarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Never gather four tortoises in one place.

3. Never mark doors with green.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Leggabkip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tiresome wolf.

Leggabkip created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Leggabkip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Leggabkip, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Leggabkip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Leggabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into orange rooms.

2. Never gather nine cats near bridges.

3. Feed all hungry moths.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Mobloprot is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent pig.

Mobloprot created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobloprot, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mobloprot, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Mobloprot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Mobloprot's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with white.

2. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not name children after mice.

5. Never gather seven manatees near walls.