Tonkenyart is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane slug.

Tonkenyart created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkenyart, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tonkenyart, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tonkenyart's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tonkenyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing tights.

2. Never point your head toward the north during prayer.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Do not take Tonkenyart's name in vain.

Renlakgub Mumsomfat is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, temperamental mongoose.

Renlakgub Mumsomfat created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Renlakgub Mumsomfat, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Renlakgub Mumsomfat, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Renlakgub Mumsomfat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Renlakgub Mumsomfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never adorn your chest with white markings.

3. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Renlakgub Mumsomfat in the centre of the settlement.

Rowneldut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, able ant.

Rowneldut created Africa two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowneldut, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rowneldut, he will boil you in a big pot.

Rowneldut's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Rowneldut's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Always obey Rowneldut's priests.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

Yarldavmidjan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless wombat.

Yarldavmidjan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarldavmidjan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarldavmidjan, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yarldavmidjan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yarldavmidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your neck with mauve markings.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never eat pineapples.

5. Do not speak about carrots.

Vaggovlist is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, boastful dog.

Vaggovlist created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaggovlist, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vaggovlist, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vaggovlist's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Vaggovlist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Vaggovlist in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never handle nickel while unclean.

5. Never look in ponds.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, charitable clam.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak, she will turn you into a mole.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Yarpgennabhadmabnuttdavyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about chromosomes.

Yogtarg is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient donkey.

Yogtarg created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Yogtarg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yogtarg, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yogtarg's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Yogtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Yogtarg.

5. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

Cuncemyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish salamander.

Cuncemyarl created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cuncemyarl, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cuncemyarl, she will destroy your home solar system.

Cuncemyarl's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cuncemyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to whales while wearing indigo coats.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.