Tambadjon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, uncaring aardvark.

Tambadjon created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tambadjon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tambadjon, she will curse you with boils.

Tambadjon's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tambadjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat garlic.

2. Never gather five swans in one place.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Worship no other gods but Tambadjon.

5. Never eat bark.

Gedmegyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witty gorilla.

Gedmegyarp created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedmegyarp, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gedmegyarp, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gedmegyarp's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gedmegyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gedmegyarp.

5. Hide from green dogs for they are unholy.

Ripdumcim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, passionate wasp.

Ripdumcim created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripdumcim, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ripdumcim, it will ignore you.

Ripdumcim's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Ripdumcim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always help sick tortoises.

5. Always wear black.

Hinfid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical alligator.

Hinfid created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Hinfid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hinfid, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hinfid's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Hinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never gather three frogs near wells.

Dimsatvil is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, prudent hydra.

Dimsatvil created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dimsatvil, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dimsatvil, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dimsatvil's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dimsatvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Dimsatvil on top of all buildings.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never record names.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Manquagbug is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, clever eagle.

Manquagbug created the Sol system eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Manquagbug, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Manquagbug, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Manquagbug's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Manquagbug's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not kill frogs.

3. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing brown shoes and balancing nine silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Manquagbug in the centre of the settlement.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Manquagbug.

Rowdodfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish gerbil.

Rowdodfeb created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowdodfeb, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Rowdodfeb, it will laugh at you.

Rowdodfeb's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Rowdodfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always share parsnips with strangers, but never with bats.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Never jump in the presence of great tits.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

Mutarfgabtag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-confident dugong.

Mutarfgabtag created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutarfgabtag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mutarfgabtag, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Mutarfgabtag's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Mutarfgabtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

4. Do not wear boots marked with orange.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.