Teen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart troll.

Teen created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Teen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Teen, he will torture you forever.

Teen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven horses approach from the west.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teen.

3. Never remain standing at dawn.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not record signs concerning moons.

Badspagpop is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered cat.

Badspagpop created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Badspagpop, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Badspagpop, she will jump up and down on your head.

Badspagpop's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Badspagpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dusk.

2. Never mix peanuts with ash.

3. Put Badspagpop first in all things.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

Renyamxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, vain whale.

Renyamxuc created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Renyamxuc, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Renyamxuc, he will try to impress you with trees.

Renyamxuc's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Renyamxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at mountains.

2. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

3. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Never look at galaxies.

Litmotdaparmlenzedaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless ferret.

Litmotdaparmlenzedaf created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litmotdaparmlenzedaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Litmotdaparmlenzedaf, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Litmotdaparmlenzedaf's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Litmotdaparmlenzedaf's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Litmotdaparmlenzedaf.

2. Do not prepare gooseberries while filled with pride.

3. Always obey Litmotdaparmlenzedaf's priests.

4. Never gather nine otters near bridges.

5. Pray towards the north.

Gudnellven is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, almighty seal.

Gudnellven created parasitic wasps six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudnellven, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gudnellven, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gudnellven's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gudnellven's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Do not take Gudnellven's name in vain.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

Nabjenraplegveenspag is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, moody owl.

Nabjenraplegveenspag created silver eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabjenraplegveenspag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nabjenraplegveenspag, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nabjenraplegveenspag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nabjenraplegveenspag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not sing at forests.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never remain bowed at dawn.

5. Never look at comets.

Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, irritating coyote.

Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hogbegcet Nillistlagbiflistgepkab Afvenbat four times a day.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Never mention sharks.

4. Never bounce in summer.

5. Pray towards the east.

Tafbatcet is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest zebra.

Tafbatcet created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafbatcet, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tafbatcet, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tafbatcet's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tafbatcet's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never feed limes to birds while wearing cyan shirts.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with pride.

5. Never think ill of sick mites.