Govfagpit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish centipede.

Govfagpit created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Govfagpit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Govfagpit, it will be very unhappy.

Govfagpit's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Govfagpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Dobzimzig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil tortoise.

Dobzimzig created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobzimzig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dobzimzig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dobzimzig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dobzimzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never mix coconuts with blood.

3. Never curse while facing east.

4. Put Dobzimzig first in all things.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

Gigflatcar is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, self-confident goose.

Gigflatcar created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigflatcar, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gigflatcar, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gigflatcar's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Gigflatcar's Holy Commandments

1. Always share peas with strangers, but never with frogs.

2. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Renflatbast is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome wolf.

Renflatbast created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Renflatbast, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Renflatbast, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Renflatbast's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Renflatbast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Renflatbast loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed lots of gooseberries to geese while wearing blue shorts.

4. Always wash your head before prayer.

5. Never eat bark.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty scorpion.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumnabxucbarngofxen, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mumnabxucbarngofxen, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Mumnabxucbarngofxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

2. Never bounce near dolphins.

3. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

4. Never pray while filled with fear.

5. Always wear turquoise.

Larglak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain horse.

Larglak created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larglak, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Larglak, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Larglak's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Larglak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Larglak's name in vain.

2. Larglak must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not speak about onions.

Rakdunmot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless wyvern.

Rakdunmot created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakdunmot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakdunmot, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Rakdunmot's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rakdunmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your hands with blue markings.

2. Never allow badgers to witness sacred rites.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not prepare spinach while filled with fear.

Belltettiflan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise hedgehog.

Belltettiflan created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Belltettiflan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Belltettiflan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Belltettiflan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Belltettiflan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Belltettiflan.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never sing in holy places.