Cebpinrap is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, unfair dragonfly.

Cebpinrap created the planet Venus six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebpinrap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cebpinrap, she will curse you with boils.

Cebpinrap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cebpinrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare spinach during winter.

2. Never wear cyan shoes.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always help manatees in need.

Hangettip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, wise deer.

Hangettip created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hangettip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hangettip, she will be very sad.

Hangettip's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Hangettip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never travel toward the east during winter.

3. Never laugh in the presence of squirrels.

4. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

5. Never sit in spring.

Gebdabyar is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, boastful yak.

Gebdabyar created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebdabyar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gebdabyar, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gebdabyar's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gebdabyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not name children after ducks.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never mark doors with pink.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gebdabyar on top of all buildings.

Sandhakxuc is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, confident snail.

Sandhakxuc created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandhakxuc, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sandhakxuc, she will torture you forever.

Sandhakxuc's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sandhakxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Sandhakxuc must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never remain kneeling at midday.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always look after injured bats.

Zigtikgov is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, proud walrus.

Zigtikgov created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigtikgov, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zigtikgov, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zigtikgov's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Zigtikgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the east during winter.

2. Never handle platinum while unclean.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never mark doors with purple.

But is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, egotistical dugong.

But created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in But, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in But, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

But's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

But's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear pink clothing.

2. Never eat coconuts.

3. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.

4. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

5. Always act with obedience.

Geptapbet is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical bird.

Geptapbet created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Geptapbet, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Geptapbet, she will turn you into a sheep.

Geptapbet's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Geptapbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Always count to eight before sleeping.

4. Put Geptapbet first in all things.

5. Do not sing in public.

Ham is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ham created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ham, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ham, he will send you a sign.

Ham's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Ham's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ham.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.