Spagstanbut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, competent goblin.

Spagstanbut created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagstanbut, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Spagstanbut, she will turn you into a puffin.

Spagstanbut's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Spagstanbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not consume limes at dawn.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Yattmisquill is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful turtle.

Yattmisquill created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattmisquill, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yattmisquill, she will turn you into a frog.

Yattmisquill's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Yattmisquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Feed all hungry snakes.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing corsets.

Fasdun is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, benevolent dog.

Fasdun created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasdun, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fasdun, he will make you grow a tail.

Fasdun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Fasdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to mites while wearing boots.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never wear fawn shirts on sacred days.

5. Never bounce in holy places.

Miltitleg is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, egotistical hedgehog.

Miltitleg created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Miltitleg, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Miltitleg, it will jump up and down on your head.

Miltitleg's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Miltitleg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

3. Always store cucumbers above ground.

4. Do not bounce at mountains.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Flapkimtig is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast meerkat.

Flapkimtig created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapkimtig, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flapkimtig, he will turn you into a tree.

Flapkimtig's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Flapkimtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never point your chest toward the south during prayer.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never record names.

5. Do not dye your hair orange.

Fodfitstig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust lizard.

Fodfitstig created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodfitstig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fodfitstig, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fodfitstig's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fodfitstig's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fodfitstig.

2. Retreat if four turtles approach from the south.

3. Always store garlic above ground.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Run away if six horses approach from the west.

Kadpaggeb is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying finch.

Kadpaggeb created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kadpaggeb, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kadpaggeb, it will turn you into a mouse.

Kadpaggeb's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Kadpaggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured moths.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

Kikfubdon is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, fussy newt.

Kikfubdon created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikfubdon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikfubdon, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kikfubdon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Kikfubdon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

2. Do not eat nuts.

3. Hide from white sharks for they are unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never mix garlic with oil.