Wipmeggess is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awesome aardvark.

Wipmeggess created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipmeggess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wipmeggess, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Wipmeggess' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Wipmeggess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not leap at forests.

4. Hide if six ducks approach from the east.

5. Never point your feet toward the north during prayer.

Gemkarsaffun is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, confident wasp.

Gemkarsaffun created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemkarsaffun, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gemkarsaffun, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Gemkarsaffun's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gemkarsaffun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gemkarsaffun.

2. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not prepare peas while wearing shorts.

5. Always help sick sheep.

Saktonsog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, self-assured hamster.

Saktonsog created the Sunflower Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saktonsog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Saktonsog, he will turn you into a hamster.

Saktonsog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Saktonsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after manatees.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Saktonsog in the centre of the settlement.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not prepare carrots while wearing ear rings.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

Fudjinlen is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, grumpy troll.

Fudjinlen created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudjinlen, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fudjinlen, it will turn you into a slug.

Fudjinlen's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Fudjinlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Hide from violet hamsters for they are unholy.

4. You must love Fudjinlen.

5. Always cleanse ash with water.

Hun is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane dugong.

Hun created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hun, it will be very sad.

Hun's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Hun's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never hurt moths.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Vabbepsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow alligator.

Vabbepsaf created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabbepsaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vabbepsaf, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vabbepsaf's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vabbepsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing west.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never hurt rats.

Bim is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fast hippopotamus.

Bim created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bim, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Bim's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bim's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Xem is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish toad.

Xem created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xem, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Xem, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Xem's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at midday.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Xem on top of all buildings.