Nelzaknad is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful scorpion.

Nelzaknad created the universe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelzaknad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nelzaknad, it will boil you in a big pot.

Nelzaknad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Nelzaknad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cucumbers.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear shorts marked with brown.

Yartwabbut is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair salamander.

Yartwabbut created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartwabbut, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yartwabbut, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Yartwabbut's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Yartwabbut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Yartwabbut in the centre of the settlement.

2. Put Yartwabbut first in all things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Never talk about bats.

Dithudpark is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, sage butterfly.

Dithudpark created the Tadpole Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dithudpark, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dithudpark, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dithudpark's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Dithudpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never handle platinum while unclean.

4. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Rotdavnig is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, able finch.

Rotdavnig created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotdavnig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rotdavnig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Rotdavnig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Rotdavnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt monkeys.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

4. Never eat apples on fasting days.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Capsafvin Landudgam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, dishonourable dolphin.

Capsafvin Landudgam created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capsafvin Landudgam, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Capsafvin Landudgam, she will have a low opinion of you.

Capsafvin Landudgam's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Capsafvin Landudgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven cats in a large pit.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never handle copper while unclean.

4. Always act with purity when addressing children.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Motvidgan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, tranquil crow.

Motvidgan created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motvidgan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Motvidgan, she will turn you into a frog.

Motvidgan's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Motvidgan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never feed limes to doves while wearing blue trousers.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not record numbers concerning moons.

Rapnulnad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, competent squirrel.

Rapnulnad created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapnulnad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapnulnad, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rapnulnad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Rapnulnad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry great tits.

2. Never eat onions on holy days.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Never wear black coats on sacred days.

Daglenpop is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, almighty narwhal.

Daglenpop created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daglenpop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Daglenpop, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Daglenpop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Daglenpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear turquoise rings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never stain your neck with magenta.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Daglenpop.

5. Never adorn your legs with pink markings.