Bossnabflamfas is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, tiresome rat.

Bossnabflamfas created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bossnabflamfas, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bossnabflamfas, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bossnabflamfas' most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Bossnabflamfas' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bossnabflamfas.

3. Never talk about bacteria.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

Dublidpop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy hydra.

Dublidpop created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dublidpop, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dublidpop, it will turn you into a slug.

Dublidpop's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Dublidpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare pineapples during winter.

2. Do not speak about melons.

3. Never think ill of sick ants.

4. Never hurt eagles.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Ripnartbed is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered skunk.

Ripnartbed created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripnartbed, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ripnartbed, he will come to you in dreams.

Ripnartbed's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ripnartbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never curse while facing south.

2. Never stain your head with brown.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing indigo tights and balancing three lead spheres on your chest.

4. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

5. Do not take Ripnartbed's name in vain.

Vingidven is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring wasp.

Vingidven created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vingidven, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vingidven, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vingidven's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vingidven's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not prepare oranges while wearing dresses.

3. Never stain your face with white.

4. Worship no other gods but Vingidven.

5. Put Vingidven first in all things.

Ceptargbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful beaver.

Ceptargbarn created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptargbarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ceptargbarn, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Ceptargbarn's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ceptargbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never speak aloud of secrets.

Parkkinvol is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful skunk.

Parkkinvol created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkkinvol, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Parkkinvol, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Parkkinvol's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Parkkinvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four bats in one place.

2. Parkkinvol loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Worship no other gods but Parkkinvol.

4. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing yellow corsets.

Fumnilbim is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered salamander.

Fumnilbim created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumnilbim, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fumnilbim, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fumnilbim's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Fumnilbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never go into gray rooms.

3. Always store corn above ground.

4. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

5. Always act with patience.

Gutsomflis is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, happy turtle.

Gutsomflis created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutsomflis, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gutsomflis, he will turn you into a puffin.

Gutsomflis' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gutsomflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

3. Do not name children after monkeys.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.