Gep is a god.

She takes the form of a large, dishonourable zebra.

Gep created time and space three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gep, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gep, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gep's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Gep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

2. Never chant in holy places.

3. Gep loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Always act with humility.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, witty coyote.

Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan created the Sol system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always help sick dogs.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Worship no other gods but Wiplunfagfenvincepgudpan.

Getdog Hasbugquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, caring fairy.

Getdog Hasbugquart created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getdog Hasbugquart, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Getdog Hasbugquart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Getdog Hasbugquart's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Getdog Hasbugquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Hide from fawn moths for they are unholy.

3. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

Nilhugwikmob is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing squid.

Nilhugwikmob created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Nilhugwikmob, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nilhugwikmob, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nilhugwikmob's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Nilhugwikmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Nilhugwikmob on top of all buildings.

3. Never eat bananas on holy days.

4. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

5. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

Paksomkaplim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthoughtful frog.

Paksomkaplim created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Paksomkaplim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Paksomkaplim, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Paksomkaplim's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Paksomkaplim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never wear fawn coats on sacred days.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never whisper while facing south.

5. Never adorn your neck with indigo markings.

Zedcedfag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthoughtful hare.

Zedcedfag created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Zedcedfag, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zedcedfag, it will turn you into a hamster.

Zedcedfag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Zedcedfag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

3. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Jarnjarnben is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, slow chinchilla.

Jarnjarnben created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnjarnben, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnjarnben, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jarnjarnben's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Jarnjarnben's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jarnjarnben's priests.

2. Do not eat apples.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jarnjarnben.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jarnjarnben.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near snakes while wearing yellow shoes and balancing nine gold spheres on your hands.

Citbincep is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic snake.

Citbincep created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citbincep, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Citbincep, it will turn you into a snail.

Citbincep's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Citbincep's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Run away from pink sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Citbincep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think about special relativity near doves while wearing gray dresses and balancing five platinum spheres on your neck.