Sidhinwot is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid dolphin.

Sidhinwot created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidhinwot, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidhinwot, it will make you grow a tail.

Sidhinwot's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Sidhinwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Never jump in the presence of mites.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

Pakhad Dotcidbuglap is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient pigeon.

Pakhad Dotcidbuglap created the Andromeda Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakhad Dotcidbuglap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakhad Dotcidbuglap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pakhad Dotcidbuglap's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Pakhad Dotcidbuglap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near whales while wearing violet rings.

4. Retreat if four frogs approach from the south.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Komcidkad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy snail.

Komcidkad created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komcidkad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Komcidkad, it will not care at all.

Komcidkad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Komcidkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Komcidkad's priests.

2. Hide from blue sheep for they are unholy.

3. Never wear black rings on sacred days.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Run away from cyan dogs, for they are unholy.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional zebra.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmapmutkopabtail, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarpmapmutkopabtail, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Yarpmapmutkopabtail's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.

Daghomgess is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, kind cat.

Daghomgess created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Daghomgess, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Daghomgess, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Daghomgess' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Daghomgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Daghomgess in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

5. Never whisper while facing north.

Bighamgabpag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, weak warg.

Bighamgabpag created light two million years ago.

If you believe in Bighamgabpag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bighamgabpag, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bighamgabpag's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Bighamgabpag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Never allow otters to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always help geese in need.

5. Never handle tin while unclean.

Flannaknabtap is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ruthless goat.

Flannaknabtap created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flannaknabtap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flannaknabtap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flannaknabtap's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Flannaknabtap's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Flannaknabtap on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

Nibbigyim is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, loving rat.

Nibbigyim created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nibbigyim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nibbigyim, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Nibbigyim's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nibbigyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four sharks near walls.

2. Do not keep six grasshopers in a large pit.

3. Never remain standing at dusk.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about fire.