Hab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent frog.

Hab created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hab, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Hab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Hab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear hats marked with green.

Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, compassionate cow.

Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Lakhantenzog Fudfabnadnulgig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Stragsagboss is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, merciful tortoise.

Stragsagboss created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragsagboss, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stragsagboss, it will have a low opinion of you.

Stragsagboss' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Stragsagboss' Holy Commandments

1. You must love Stragsagboss.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always wear violet.

5. Never mention seals.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, idiotic zebra.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begbomquilldancarlatzag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Begbomquilldancarlatzag, it will turn you into a snail.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

3. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.

Fodcitquim is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, moody crow.

Fodcitquim created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodcitquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fodcitquim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fodcitquim's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fodcitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Nabmonpibnull is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, loving dolphin.

Nabmonpibnull created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabmonpibnull, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nabmonpibnull, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nabmonpibnull's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Nabmonpibnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to rats while wearing magenta scarves.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Never gather eight dolphins near wells.

Begbasscut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, able hedgehog.

Begbasscut created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begbasscut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begbasscut, he will think nothing of it.

Begbasscut's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Begbasscut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Always store strawberries above ground.

Hinbogboss is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hinbogboss created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinbogboss, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hinbogboss, it will turn you into a mouse.

Hinbogboss' most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hinbogboss' Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the east.

2. Always remove skirts before touching copper.

3. You must pray to Hinbogboss five times a day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hinbogboss.

5. Never speak at dawn.