Fobhigdad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful human.

Fobhigdad created time and space eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobhigdad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fobhigdad, he will not care at all.

Fobhigdad's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Fobhigdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. Respect your elders.

Hubsanzan Babrullmab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, kind ferret.

Hubsanzan Babrullmab created oxygen eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hubsanzan Babrullmab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hubsanzan Babrullmab, he will torture you forever.

Hubsanzan Babrullmab's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Hubsanzan Babrullmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle lead while unclean.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Always help sick pigs.

4. Never stain your chest with magenta.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Hangatort is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless narwhal.

Hangatort created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hangatort, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hangatort, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Hangatort's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hangatort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never travel toward the east during spring.

4. You must pray to Hangatort seven times a day.

5. Always remove rings before touching iron.

Teenfodort is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing seal.

Teenfodort created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenfodort, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teenfodort, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Teenfodort's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Teenfodort's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help hamsters in need.

5. Never go into blue rooms.

Dutnilstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, dishonourable hyena.

Dutnilstaf created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutnilstaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dutnilstaf, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dutnilstaf's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Dutnilstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Dutnilstaf in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never laugh in spring.

5. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Dutnilstaf on top of important buildings.

Sterdunlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating armadillo.

Sterdunlarp created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterdunlarp, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sterdunlarp, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sterdunlarp's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sterdunlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black rings.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Retreat if four capybaras approach from the south.

4. Never allow aardvarks to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Always remove coats before entering holy places.

Gontuncar is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional penguin.

Gontuncar created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gontuncar, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gontuncar, she will not care.

Gontuncar's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Gontuncar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics.

2. Never gather six eagles near wells.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gontuncar.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Getlakbig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy cow.

Getlakbig created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getlakbig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Getlakbig, he will turn you into a rat.

Getlakbig's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Getlakbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never feed corn to capybaras while wearing violet kilts.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.