Mifbinvol is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, vain mongoose.

Mifbinvol created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Mifbinvol, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mifbinvol, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Mifbinvol's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mifbinvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about snakes.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Never prepare tomatoes during autumn.

Megnuttdadrat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, benevolent slug.

Megnuttdadrat created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Megnuttdadrat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Megnuttdadrat, she will turn you into a rock.

Megnuttdadrat's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Megnuttdadrat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Megnuttdadrat on top of all buildings.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Hitfargun is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless wyvern.

Hitfargun created water four years ago.

If you believe in Hitfargun, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hitfargun, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Hitfargun's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hitfargun's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing elders.

2. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

3. Hitfargun loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

5. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

Popshaven is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident spider.

Popshaven created the Tadpole Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Popshaven, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Popshaven, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Popshaven's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Popshaven's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat eagles with great respect.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Popshaven.

5. Never wear jumpers.

Hatwattettishav is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tiresome guinea pig.

Hatwattettishav created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatwattettishav, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hatwattettishav, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hatwattettishav's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hatwattettishav's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Hatwattettishav in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not kill moths.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

Ratquilldid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, tranquil seal.

Ratquilldid created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratquilldid, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ratquilldid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Ratquilldid's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ratquilldid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not gather at doors at midday.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Ratquilldid's name in vain.

Dussbugfed is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, contented shark.

Dussbugfed created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dussbugfed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dussbugfed, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dussbugfed's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Dussbugfed's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never wear green jumpers on sacred days.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

4. Never speak aloud of names.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Gigmabhad is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic swan.

Gigmabhad created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigmabhad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gigmabhad, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gigmabhad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gigmabhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Never allow snakes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Always count to seven before sleeping.

4. Always help squirrels.

5. Always act with humility.