Bogcitwapdib is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy newt.

Bogcitwapdib created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogcitwapdib, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogcitwapdib, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bogcitwapdib's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bogcitwapdib's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Never adorn your head with cyan markings.

Fenveenlid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast spider.

Fenveenlid created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenveenlid, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fenveenlid, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fenveenlid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Fenveenlid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fenveenlid in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never mention sheep.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Fenveenlid loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.

Jipfumhen is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy ant.

Jipfumhen created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipfumhen, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jipfumhen, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Jipfumhen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Jipfumhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midday.

2. Run away if six porpoises approach from the south.

3. Never wear mauve ear rings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

Nartjatbim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, kind bee.

Nartjatbim created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartjatbim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nartjatbim, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nartjatbim's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nartjatbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cherries during summer.

2. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Lopjopfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ruthless dragon.

Lopjopfeb created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopjopfeb, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lopjopfeb, it will curse you with boils.

Lopjopfeb's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Lopjopfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of elders.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Lopjopfeb on top of all buildings.

4. Never touch water while tainted.

5. Never gather six mites in one place.

Garkopaf is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omniscient naga.

Garkopaf created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garkopaf, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Garkopaf, it will come to you in dreams.

Garkopaf's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Garkopaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head fawn.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing hats.

4. Never feed coconuts to ants while wearing stockings.

5. You must never eat lemons.

Hattafnul is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful deer.

Hattafnul created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hattafnul, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hattafnul, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hattafnul's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Hattafnul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hattafnul.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Largwabfetsit is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful sheep.

Largwabfetsit created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largwabfetsit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Largwabfetsit, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Largwabfetsit's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Largwabfetsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

2. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

3. Never travel toward the west during spring.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not sprint in public.