Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unjust hummingbird.

Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always obey Hasfobflatflagtimtailcedtonk's priests.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Never adorn your chest with purple markings.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

Dogwitbum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omniscient wren.

Dogwitbum created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogwitbum, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dogwitbum, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Dogwitbum's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Dogwitbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Do not name children after monkeys.

Afjatveghiv is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered octopus.

Afjatveghiv created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Afjatveghiv, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Afjatveghiv, she will turn you into a mouse.

Afjatveghiv's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Afjatveghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never point your back toward the north during prayer.

3. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always remove corsets before touching aluminium.

Flanbonbast is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, calm yak.

Flanbonbast created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Flanbonbast, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flanbonbast, it will not care at all.

Flanbonbast's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Flanbonbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Never run in the presence of badgers.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Never stain your feet with indigo.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Begzenjam is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest giraffe.

Begzenjam created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Begzenjam, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Begzenjam, it will ignore you.

Begzenjam's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Begzenjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Never mention goats.

5. Never eat gooseberries.

Dinyamvon is a god.

She takes the form of a large, kind aardvark.

Dinyamvon created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dinyamvon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dinyamvon, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dinyamvon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dinyamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Do not place onions upon stone.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never mention geese.

Veenbabkop is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciful pigeon.

Veenbabkop created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenbabkop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Veenbabkop, she will turn you into a worm.

Veenbabkop's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Veenbabkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Always help sick mice.

4. Always obey Veenbabkop's priests.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

Vonknellsisyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust walrus.

Vonknellsisyarl created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonknellsisyarl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vonknellsisyarl, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vonknellsisyarl's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vonknellsisyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to moths while wearing white stockings.

2. Never chant in the presence of manatees.

3. Do not keep six horses in a large pit.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never allow eagles to sleep beneath your roof.