Sigganbin is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic squid.

Sigganbin created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigganbin, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sigganbin, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sigganbin's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Sigganbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at midnight.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Never record numbers.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to whales while wearing pink scarves.

5. Do not resist fate.

Catyimren is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish dolphin.

Catyimren created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catyimren, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Catyimren, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Catyimren's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Catyimren's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to porpoises while wearing cyan shoes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never leap in the presence of elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never mix apples with oil.

Tomfigsas is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous horse.

Tomfigsas created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomfigsas, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tomfigsas, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tomfigsas' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Tomfigsas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

2. Never wear brown shorts on sacred days.

3. Do not place beans upon stone.

4. Never feed lots of figs to squirrels while wearing red shoes.

5. Do not wear jumpers marked with cyan.

Dotxingof is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy octopus.

Dotxingof created the solar system seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotxingof, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dotxingof, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Dotxingof's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dotxingof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near gulls while wearing violet kilts and balancing three tin spheres on your face.

2. Never eat peanuts on fasting days.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Never feed turnips to otters while wearing shoes.

Lagrillnib is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, witty meerkat.

Lagrillnib created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lagrillnib, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Lagrillnib, it will turn you into a mouse.

Lagrillnib's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lagrillnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing purple jumpers.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

5. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

Fubcenbop is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical scorpion.

Fubcenbop created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubcenbop, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fubcenbop, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fubcenbop's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fubcenbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not bounce in public.

Nellapdag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless mole.

Nellapdag created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nellapdag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nellapdag, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nellapdag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nellapdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing children.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Nellapdag in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Nellapdag in the centre of the settlement.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, irritating deer.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Dabhognurl Tanmilhatbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of cats.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always remove boots before touching aluminium.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

5. Always help sick mites.