Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, clever naga.

Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull created the Sunflower Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Donstikfem Jatwatmap Yarltonknull's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Never adorn your feet with brown markings.

3. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

Bepstanrot is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent armadillo.

Bepstanrot created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepstanrot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bepstanrot, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bepstanrot's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bepstanrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Run away from pink cats, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Bepstanrot in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always count to four before sleeping.

Arfbotmum is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, tiresome skunk.

Arfbotmum created the Sol system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfbotmum, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arfbotmum, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Arfbotmum's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Arfbotmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

Badgepnak Wiksandlip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, impressive octopus.

Badgepnak Wiksandlip created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badgepnak Wiksandlip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Badgepnak Wiksandlip, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Badgepnak Wiksandlip's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Badgepnak Wiksandlip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Badgepnak Wiksandlip's name in vain.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing green boots and balancing three silicon spheres on your legs.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Ragnartqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy ferret.

Ragnartqueeg created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ragnartqueeg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ragnartqueeg, she will turn you into a frog.

Ragnartqueeg's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ragnartqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Never mention frogs.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

5. Do not listen to music.

Gigrowgem is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast squirrel.

Gigrowgem created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigrowgem, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gigrowgem, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gigrowgem's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gigrowgem's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gigrowgem.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

Fabfedrot Dumzodbass is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful hyena.

Fabfedrot Dumzodbass created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Fabfedrot Dumzodbass, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fabfedrot Dumzodbass, she will torture you forever.

Fabfedrot Dumzodbass' most sacred site is Camon in France.

Fabfedrot Dumzodbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near snails while wearing white ear rings and balancing six silver spheres on your back.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never think about galaxies.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fabfedrot Dumzodbass in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Tignelfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, compassionate squirrel.

Tignelfet created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tignelfet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tignelfet, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Tignelfet's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tignelfet's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Never remain standing at midnight.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Never hop in the presence of elders.