Wipflamcibzedtalsandag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, wise cow.

Wipflamcibzedtalsandag created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipflamcibzedtalsandag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Wipflamcibzedtalsandag, he will be very unhappy.

Wipflamcibzedtalsandag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Wipflamcibzedtalsandag's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your neck before prayer.

2. Pray only in firelight.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Wipflamcibzedtalsandag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

Zogsabrot is a god.

He takes the form of a large, vain crab.

Zogsabrot created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zogsabrot, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zogsabrot, he will send you a sign.

Zogsabrot's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Zogsabrot's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

2. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

3. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

4. Run away if three eagles approach from the east.

5. Never feed oranges to mice while wearing fawn ear rings.

Goddavzed is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, irritating dingo.

Goddavzed created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goddavzed, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Goddavzed, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Goddavzed's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Goddavzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Bidvonkweg is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, prudent snake.

Bidvonkweg created the Andromeda Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bidvonkweg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bidvonkweg, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bidvonkweg's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bidvonkweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of names.

2. Never sit near sheep.

3. Put Bidvonkweg first in all things.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

Xuckbagsasril is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sage hippopotamus.

Xuckbagsasril created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckbagsasril, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xuckbagsasril, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xuckbagsasril's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Xuckbagsasril's Holy Commandments

1. Xuckbagsasril must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never go into orange rooms.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

5. Never prepare parsnips during summer.

Butgargem is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, caring unicorn.

Butgargem created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butgargem, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Butgargem, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Butgargem's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Butgargem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt monkeys.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Butgargem loves otters, so they must be respected.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never travel toward the east during winter.

Lunbifbut is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise grasshopper.

Lunbifbut created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunbifbut, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lunbifbut, he will remove you from existence.

Lunbifbut's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lunbifbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

5. Never talk about dark matter.

Bellkapyamhom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, boastful hummingbird.

Bellkapyamhom created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellkapyamhom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellkapyamhom, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bellkapyamhom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bellkapyamhom's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Never feed lots of tomatoes to gulls while wearing pink kilts.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Never eat green fruit.