Bennarljap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, ill-tempered spider.

Bennarljap created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bennarljap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bennarljap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bennarljap's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bennarljap's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Bennarljap on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed lots of carrots to goats while wearing white tights.

Bimwegdiss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, staggering weasel.

Bimwegdiss created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimwegdiss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimwegdiss, she will turn you into a slug.

Bimwegdiss' most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bimwegdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bimwegdiss' priests.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimwegdiss.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Dibsabzakzog is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, effective ant.

Dibsabzakzog created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibsabzakzog, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dibsabzakzog, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dibsabzakzog's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dibsabzakzog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five otters approach from the south.

2. Never gather seven dogs in one place.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Sabkinfem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, contented goose.

Sabkinfem created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabkinfem, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sabkinfem, she will send you a sign.

Sabkinfem's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sabkinfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never feed lots of apples to hamsters while wearing orange kilts.

4. You must never eat melons.

5. Do not record signs concerning dwarf planets.

Wabyoglarn Logsatcit is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous manatee.

Wabyoglarn Logsatcit created matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabyoglarn Logsatcit, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabyoglarn Logsatcit, it will be mildly annoyed.

Wabyoglarn Logsatcit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Wabyoglarn Logsatcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing mauve shirts and balancing four silicon spheres on your feet.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

5. Never write about comets.

Armlunmon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, generous seal.

Armlunmon created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armlunmon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Armlunmon, it will turn you into a frog.

Armlunmon's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Armlunmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil unicorn.

Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand created the Tadpole Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cutafwabhamyatfarnshavsand's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place grapes upon stone.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

Gepbembom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, amazing finch.

Gepbembom created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepbembom, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gepbembom, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gepbembom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gepbembom's Holy Commandments

1. Gepbembom loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

5. Heed all signs.