Xucwanvog is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate swallow.

Xucwanvog created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Xucwanvog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucwanvog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Xucwanvog's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Xucwanvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

2. Always remove scarves before touching tin.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Always store melons above ground.

5. Never chant near cats.

Witjamzakarfzakcat is a god.

She takes the form of a large, all-knowing parrot.

Witjamzakarfzakcat created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Witjamzakarfzakcat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Witjamzakarfzakcat, she will turn you into a worm.

Witjamzakarfzakcat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Witjamzakarfzakcat's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to six before sleeping.

2. Erect seven copper sculptures of Witjamzakarfzakcat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

4. Never feed tomatoes to voles while wearing coats.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Pomcimpit Tomgabrul is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, selfish snail.

Pomcimpit Tomgabrul created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Pomcimpit Tomgabrul, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pomcimpit Tomgabrul, she will turn you into a snail.

Pomcimpit Tomgabrul's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Pomcimpit Tomgabrul's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry rats.

2. Do not speak about corn.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Never mark doors with yellow.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

Jadyatnurt is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, loving snake.

Jadyatnurt created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadyatnurt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jadyatnurt, he will turn you into a frog.

Jadyatnurt's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jadyatnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

2. Never touch oil while tainted.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Always help cats in need.

Damcennab is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, caring owl.

Damcennab created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Damcennab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Damcennab, she will turn you into a plant.

Damcennab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Damcennab's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never hop in the presence of elders.

5. Do not name children after nematodes.

Venmegdim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, strong camel.

Venmegdim created a top quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Venmegdim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Venmegdim, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Venmegdim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Venmegdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter.

2. Shun those given to vanity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witty swallow.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with red.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Do not take Wotyattsat Pangbimyatrigomin's name in vain.

4. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.

Legnilort is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, quiet mole.

Legnilort created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Legnilort, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Legnilort, he will refuse to believe in you.

Legnilort's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Legnilort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never wear yellow shorts.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never point your head toward the south during prayer.

5. Never run in the presence of elders.