Ditvidquill is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, blissful tortoise.

Ditvidquill created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditvidquill, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditvidquill, she will laugh at you.

Ditvidquill's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Ditvidquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Put Ditvidquill first in all things.

3. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

4. Never go into gray rooms.

5. Never prepare apples during summer.

Arffodgessbus is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate wasp.

Arffodgessbus created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arffodgessbus, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Arffodgessbus, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Arffodgessbus' most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Arffodgessbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three voles near wells.

2. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

3. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

4. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

5. Pray only in darkness.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, grumpy dugong.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat created the Sunflower Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortdonten Kadhugwat, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ortdonten Kadhugwat, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Ortdonten Kadhugwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never allow manatees to witness sacred rites.

Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain hyena.

Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Jinarnyat Zedhadquafcitliphonbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume apples at dawn.

2. Run away if four frogs approach from the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not prepare cherries while filled with joy.

Sadgabtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, moody hippopotamus.

Sadgabtaf created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadgabtaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sadgabtaf, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sadgabtaf's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sadgabtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Sadgabtaf loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never feed grapes to badgers while wearing shorts.

4. Do not place rice upon stone.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Spaglarnceb is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered centipede.

Spaglarnceb created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Spaglarnceb, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Spaglarnceb, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Spaglarnceb's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Spaglarnceb's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green manatees for they are unholy.

2. You must pray to Spaglarnceb four times a day.

3. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

4. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Spaglarnceb.

Safyarpdid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, duplicitous camel.

Safyarpdid created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Safyarpdid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Safyarpdid, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Safyarpdid's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Safyarpdid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Never pray while filled with joy.

5. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.

Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, loving capybara.

Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss' most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bomqueegzen Ortbapduss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near birds while wearing white corsets and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. Always help frogs in need.