Hogvonkfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking wasp.

Hogvonkfarn created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogvonkfarn, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hogvonkfarn, it will ignore you.

Hogvonkfarn's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hogvonkfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Talsagdib is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, duplicitous toad.

Talsagdib created an atom eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talsagdib, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Talsagdib, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Talsagdib's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Talsagdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather four grasshopers near towers.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Talsagdib loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not sing in public.

Mut is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, generous dugong.

Mut created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mut, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mut, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mut's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Mut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat bread.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

Bimjengan Yartonkzed is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, witless horse.

Bimjengan Yartonkzed created a down quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimjengan Yartonkzed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bimjengan Yartonkzed, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bimjengan Yartonkzed's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bimjengan Yartonkzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear green clothing.

2. Retreat if seven porpoises approach from the south.

3. Never paint your back yellow.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Never speak at dawn.

Janzagquam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, sage spider.

Janzagquam created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janzagquam, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Janzagquam, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Janzagquam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Janzagquam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven dogs approach from the south.

2. Never eat peas on days of mourning.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Never travel toward the west during summer.

Homweebimfutyok is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, loving ferret.

Homweebimfutyok created a charm quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Homweebimfutyok, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Homweebimfutyok, she will turn you into a goat.

Homweebimfutyok's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Homweebimfutyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near swans while wearing mauve dresses and balancing three carbon spheres on your back.

2. Never prepare bread during spring.

3. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

4. Never gather seven dolphins in one place.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Pagnelkadgarjatbad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful rhinoceros.

Pagnelkadgarjatbad created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pagnelkadgarjatbad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagnelkadgarjatbad, it will not invite you to parties.

Pagnelkadgarjatbad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pagnelkadgarjatbad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dolphins.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

3. Never gather eight tortoises in one place.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

Lamlarnbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate manatee.

Lamlarnbeg created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamlarnbeg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lamlarnbeg, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Lamlarnbeg's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Lamlarnbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Always store parsnips above ground.

3. Do not take Lamlarnbeg's name in vain.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.