Jonkinvabnatcep is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient toad.

Jonkinvabnatcep created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonkinvabnatcep, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonkinvabnatcep, she will be very unhappy.

Jonkinvabnatcep's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jonkinvabnatcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with tortoises.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Jonkinvabnatcep in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not sing in public.

Sasstraghub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome naga.

Sasstraghub created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sasstraghub, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sasstraghub, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sasstraghub's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Sasstraghub's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the south.

2. Put Sasstraghub first in all things.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from turquoise snakes for they are unholy.

Dibarptiphinkiphubdit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, emotional hummingbird.

Dibarptiphinkiphubdit created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Dibarptiphinkiphubdit, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dibarptiphinkiphubdit, it will turn you into a plant.

Dibarptiphinkiphubdit's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dibarptiphinkiphubdit's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to grasshopers while wearing yellow dresses.

5. Never laugh near birds.

Higbimtun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, happy rat.

Higbimtun created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Higbimtun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Higbimtun, it will turn you into a duck.

Higbimtun's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Higbimtun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Higbimtun on top of all buildings.

2. Always help grasshopers in need.

3. You must pray to Higbimtun nine times a day.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Higbimtun on top of important buildings.

Largligsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, wise zebra.

Largligsom created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largligsom, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Largligsom, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Largligsom's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Largligsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not dye your hair purple.

3. Never record names.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look in ponds.

Parkbamvoncud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful dugong.

Parkbamvoncud created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkbamvoncud, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Parkbamvoncud, she will strike you with lightening.

Parkbamvoncud's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Parkbamvoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

3. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Parkbamvoncud on top of all buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the south.

Wikgomflig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ill-tempered hummingbird.

Wikgomflig created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wikgomflig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wikgomflig, he will curse you with boils.

Wikgomflig's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Wikgomflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

4. Do not name children after rats.

5. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

Cissabdibbenlabbog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, impressive coyote.

Cissabdibbenlabbog created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissabdibbenlabbog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cissabdibbenlabbog, it will be very unhappy.

Cissabdibbenlabbog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cissabdibbenlabbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle platinum while unclean.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Do not leap in public.