Cusstigtitrut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, pitiless snail.

Cusstigtitrut created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusstigtitrut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cusstigtitrut, he will not care at all.

Cusstigtitrut's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Cusstigtitrut's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Run away if eight seals approach from the west.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Matloptim is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, self-confident fish.

Matloptim created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Matloptim, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Matloptim, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Matloptim's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Matloptim's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in autumn.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never gather eight moths in one place.

4. Feed all hungry swans.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.

Fotmongeb is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, uncaring toad.

Fotmongeb created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotmongeb, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fotmongeb, he will turn you into a tree.

Fotmongeb's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fotmongeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Dannulltenapp is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane jaguar.

Dannulltenapp created the planet Jupiter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dannulltenapp, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dannulltenapp, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dannulltenapp's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Dannulltenapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never hop near snails.

Ruldundam Figkapkom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate gerbil.

Ruldundam Figkapkom created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruldundam Figkapkom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ruldundam Figkapkom, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Ruldundam Figkapkom's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Ruldundam Figkapkom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Do not prepare figs while wearing boots.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Yarpbarnkimwap is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, pitiless bird.

Yarpbarnkimwap created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbarnkimwap, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpbarnkimwap, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yarpbarnkimwap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yarpbarnkimwap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump at rivers.

2. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

3. Never stain your face with pink.

4. Never feed peanuts to nematodes while wearing shirts.

5. Do not take Yarpbarnkimwap's name in vain.

Tarrulwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, happy raven.

Tarrulwik created energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarrulwik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tarrulwik, she will turn you into a hamster.

Tarrulwik's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tarrulwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse water with water.

2. Never speak aloud of names.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not speak about bread.

Flyquillcum is a god.

He takes the form of a large, bad-tempered ant.

Flyquillcum created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Flyquillcum, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flyquillcum, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Flyquillcum's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flyquillcum's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flyquillcum four times a day.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.