Muttailfossfun is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, quiet clam.

Muttailfossfun created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Muttailfossfun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Muttailfossfun, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Muttailfossfun's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Muttailfossfun's Holy Commandments

1. Muttailfossfun loves horses, so they must be honoured.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous armadillo.

Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid created the Sol system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Stragbafbabkonyaklikvid's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Do not hurt shrews.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always help birds.

Kanzaglargyartbug is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, confident gerbil.

Kanzaglargyartbug created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanzaglargyartbug, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kanzaglargyartbug, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kanzaglargyartbug's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kanzaglargyartbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into indigo rooms.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Kanzaglargyartbug on top of all buildings.

5. Pray towards the west.

Fidhugton is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless mouse.

Fidhugton created tapeworms five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidhugton, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fidhugton, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Fidhugton's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Fidhugton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Erect three lead sculptures of Fidhugton on top of important buildings.

3. Never run near turtles.

4. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Funbottikhadlagbethinnil is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, merciless slug.

Funbottikhadlagbethinnil created a top quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Funbottikhadlagbethinnil, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Funbottikhadlagbethinnil, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Funbottikhadlagbethinnil's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Funbottikhadlagbethinnil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Do not wear green clothing.

Kenragtarp is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omniscient manatee.

Kenragtarp created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kenragtarp, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kenragtarp, it will not care.

Kenragtarp's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kenragtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sharks.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near horses while wearing yellow rings and balancing six aluminium spheres on your chest.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

Konsaswan Karnib is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, deceitful seal.

Konsaswan Karnib created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Konsaswan Karnib, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Konsaswan Karnib, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Konsaswan Karnib's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Konsaswan Karnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Always help eagles.

4. Do not keep three ants in a large pit.

5. Run away from purple nematodes, for they are unholy.

Lunbossarm is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, overgenerous wolf.

Lunbossarm created the Whirlpool Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunbossarm, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lunbossarm, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Lunbossarm's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lunbossarm's Holy Commandments

1. Lunbossarm loves otters, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not chop down trees.