Pombonfon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, impressive walrus.

Pombonfon created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pombonfon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pombonfon, she will remove you from existence.

Pombonfon's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Pombonfon's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Retreat if nine great tits approach from the east.

3. Put Pombonfon first in all things.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Pombonfon loves horses, so they must be honoured.

Ditbonkgud is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, thoughtless warg.

Ditbonkgud created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditbonkgud, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ditbonkgud, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Ditbonkgud's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ditbonkgud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near ants while wearing brown corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Do not eat oranges.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must love Ditbonkgud.

Cusspopcabmobyak is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive beaver.

Cusspopcabmobyak created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusspopcabmobyak, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cusspopcabmobyak, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cusspopcabmobyak's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Cusspopcabmobyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if four badgers approach from the west.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Never wear cyan kilts on sacred days.

5. Never mention doves.

Fetponcep is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, egotistical gnu.

Fetponcep created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fetponcep, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fetponcep, she will turn you into a mole.

Fetponcep's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fetponcep's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are not to be trusted.

2. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.

3. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Always act with obedience.

Homcubzig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unsympathetic squid.

Homcubzig created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Homcubzig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Homcubzig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Homcubzig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Homcubzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Never record names.

Lintanhen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, intelligent dragon.

Lintanhen created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Lintanhen, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lintanhen, he will be very sad.

Lintanhen's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Lintanhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

3. Hide from indigo ducks for they are unholy.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near nematodes while wearing purple dresses and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

5. Never handle gold while unclean.

Komlarpnart is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, merciful zebra.

Komlarpnart created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Komlarpnart, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Komlarpnart, she will turn you into a mole.

Komlarpnart's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Komlarpnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never handle lead while unclean.

3. Never paint your face turquoise.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Always take life seriously.

Ladfomrannill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, vain gnu.

Ladfomrannill created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladfomrannill, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ladfomrannill, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ladfomrannill's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ladfomrannill's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Never leap in the presence of elders.

4. Do not take Ladfomrannill's name in vain.

5. Never hurt dolphins.