Nigvagbed is a god.

It takes the form of a large, uncaring porpoise.

Nigvagbed created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nigvagbed, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nigvagbed, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Nigvagbed's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Nigvagbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Nigvagbed loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not commit murder.

Rakjoptim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, idiotic chicken.

Rakjoptim created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakjoptim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rakjoptim, she will send minions to preach to you.

Rakjoptim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Rakjoptim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Bellvilrotmattimgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fussy zebra.

Bellvilrotmattimgeb created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bellvilrotmattimgeb, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bellvilrotmattimgeb, she will turn you into a rock.

Bellvilrotmattimgeb's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bellvilrotmattimgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Do not run at rivers.

3. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

4. Never wear green shorts.

5. Never sit in holy places.

Timbodnig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, astonishing gnu.

Timbodnig created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbodnig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Timbodnig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Timbodnig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Timbodnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run at forests.

2. Never sing in autumn.

3. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

4. Never mark doors with cyan.

5. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.

Badcendod is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, amazing hamster.

Badcendod created Asia eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Badcendod, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Badcendod, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Badcendod's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Badcendod's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.

Wigfatkipdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, uncaring cobra.

Wigfatkipdoss created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigfatkipdoss, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wigfatkipdoss, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Wigfatkipdoss' most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wigfatkipdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to aardvarks while wearing mauve coats.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always wash your hands before prayer.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

Goflakgup is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient goose.

Goflakgup created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goflakgup, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Goflakgup, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Goflakgup's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Goflakgup's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Goflakgup in the centre of the settlement.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Never skip in the presence of ducks.

Fumlistapp is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast duck.

Fumlistapp created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumlistapp, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fumlistapp, she will manifest in front of you.

Fumlistapp's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Fumlistapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume apples at dawn.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Never skip in winter.

4. Never wear indigo kilts.

5. Do not listen to music.