Fud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless fish.

Fud created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Fud, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fud, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Fud's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fud's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

5. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

Vanmiphasnig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, thoughtless lion.

Vanmiphasnig created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanmiphasnig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vanmiphasnig, it will turn you into a dog.

Vanmiphasnig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vanmiphasnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Never record signs.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Never travel toward the east during summer.

5. Never speak at dawn.

Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, blissful manatee.

Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Ragwigzimwapjapcidgubgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Do not gather at wells at midday.

Bidpigingcussbad is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, overgenerous coyote.

Bidpigingcussbad created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidpigingcussbad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bidpigingcussbad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bidpigingcussbad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bidpigingcussbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with orange.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Pray towards the south.

Shavegdoss is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic pig.

Shavegdoss created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavegdoss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Shavegdoss, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Shavegdoss' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Shavegdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching aluminium.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never touch ash while unclean.

5. Hide from orange tapirs for they are unholy.

Gigstafjab is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane duck.

Gigstafjab created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigstafjab, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gigstafjab, she will turn you into a dog.

Gigstafjab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Gigstafjab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six sheep approach from the north.

2. Do not name children after manatees.

3. Do not prepare cherries while filled with envy.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

Metmetcem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, quiet dingo.

Metmetcem created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metmetcem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Metmetcem, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Metmetcem's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Metmetcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Metmetcem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never point your back toward the north during prayer.

Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, caring owl.

Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn, it will destroy your home solar system.

Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Arpvenbom Rowbonkjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Run away if six gulls approach from the south.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.