Vedgemdamgun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, two-faced unicorn.

Vedgemdamgun created matter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedgemdamgun, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vedgemdamgun, she will strike you with lightening.

Vedgemdamgun's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Vedgemdamgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, self-assured duck.

Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat, he will turn you into a rat.

Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Quaffoncip Binstafrap Fobveenlat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Never wear black corsets.

3. Hide if six doves approach from the east.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

Zograpzan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, competent turtle.

Zograpzan created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zograpzan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zograpzan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zograpzan's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zograpzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

5. Never bounce in holy places.

Mitcimlarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fast salamander.

Mitcimlarn created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitcimlarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mitcimlarn, it will not invite you to parties.

Mitcimlarn's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Mitcimlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chlorophyll.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

Gilnelraw is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, sage alligator.

Gilnelraw created the Cigar Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnelraw, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilnelraw, it will turn you into a duck.

Gilnelraw's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Gilnelraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never speak aloud of numbers.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Dutfotkar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, almighty centaur.

Dutfotkar created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutfotkar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dutfotkar, it will turn you into a plant.

Dutfotkar's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dutfotkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Never chant while facing west.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near manatees while wearing brown skirts and balancing four gold spheres on your head.

5. Never wear indigo ear rings.

Tiprattar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful pigeon.

Tiprattar created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiprattar, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tiprattar, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tiprattar's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Tiprattar's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tiprattar five times a day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Retreat if eight squirrels approach from the east.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near voles while wearing magenta shirts.

Konbumnell is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful alligator.

Konbumnell created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Konbumnell, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Konbumnell, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Konbumnell's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Konbumnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never touch oil while tainted.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near nematodes while wearing brown scarves and balancing eight silicon spheres on your arms.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

5. Never wear stockings.