Boglabgon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, slow narwhal.

Boglabgon created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Boglabgon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Boglabgon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Boglabgon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Boglabgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during winter.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never stain your chest with white.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Boglabgon in the centre of the settlement.

Begbifyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful hippopotamus.

Begbifyog created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Begbifyog, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Begbifyog, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Begbifyog's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Begbifyog's Holy Commandments

1. Begbifyog loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Heed all signs.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never touch ash while unclean.

Kadhitbop is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, kind dog.

Kadhitbop created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kadhitbop, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadhitbop, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kadhitbop's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kadhitbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Hakpanstik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent penguin.

Hakpanstik created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakpanstik, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hakpanstik, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Hakpanstik's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Hakpanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not prepare grapes while filled with envy.

3. Do not keep four turtles in a large pit.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midnight.

Zimquattenyimdit is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, irritating crocodile.

Zimquattenyimdit created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimquattenyimdit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimquattenyimdit, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zimquattenyimdit's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zimquattenyimdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather five voles near bridges.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Always help great tits in need.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Zimquattenyimdit loves mice, so they must be respected.

Sakquatveen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy shark.

Sakquatveen created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakquatveen, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sakquatveen, she will turn you into a worm.

Sakquatveen's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Sakquatveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.

Bapnibhen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, temperamental wombat.

Bapnibhen created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapnibhen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bapnibhen, he will think nothing of it.

Bapnibhen's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Bapnibhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six whales near doors.

2. Always help dolphins.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

5. Pray towards the south.

Kemhakkik is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise spider.

Kemhakkik created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemhakkik, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kemhakkik, he will turn you into a rat.

Kemhakkik's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kemhakkik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never gather seven grasshopers in one place.

4. Put Kemhakkik first in all things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.