Febsawgut is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident rhinoceros.

Febsawgut created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Febsawgut, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Febsawgut, he will curse you with boils.

Febsawgut's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Febsawgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Never eat oranges.

3. Do not keep seven whales in a large pit.

4. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never feed lentils to nematodes while wearing stockings.

Cedjabbast is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless goose.

Cedjabbast created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cedjabbast, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cedjabbast, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cedjabbast's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Cedjabbast's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not eat lemons.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Do not kill otters.

Volspagvig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing skunk.

Volspagvig created energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volspagvig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Volspagvig, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Volspagvig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Volspagvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing mauve dresses and balancing six iron spheres on your head.

5. Never jump in the presence of whales.

Wipzogwod is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic camel.

Wipzogwod created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipzogwod, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Wipzogwod, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wipzogwod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wipzogwod's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to vanity.

2. Wipzogwod loves doves, so they must be respected.

3. Never talk about dark matter near goats while wearing pink shoes.

4. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

5. Never handle tin while unclean.

Gomwiglat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing scorpion.

Gomwiglat created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomwiglat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gomwiglat, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gomwiglat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gomwiglat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Never talk about foxes.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, idiotic gerbil.

Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib, he will remove you from existence.

Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tarpgilnib Lapvidpigflamvag Motgatpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never adorn your face with fawn markings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never eat limes.

Dodlaktal is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, all-knowing manatee.

Dodlaktal created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodlaktal, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dodlaktal, it will jump up and down on your head.

Dodlaktal's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dodlaktal's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross mountains at dawn.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never adorn your neck with yellow markings.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful walrus.

Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab, he will make you grow a tail.

Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your back with magenta.

2. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

3. Wadxinmutdit Cempinnadwab loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.