Pondandid is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident hippopotamus.

Pondandid created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pondandid, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pondandid, it will strike you with lightening.

Pondandid's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Pondandid's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must pray to Pondandid three times a day.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

5. Pray only in darkness.

Hivingnart is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid finch.

Hivingnart created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivingnart, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hivingnart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hivingnart's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hivingnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Never handle aluminium while unclean.

3. Hivingnart loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing purple ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

Fidyarganyim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, boastful naga.

Fidyarganyim created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fidyarganyim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fidyarganyim, she will send minions to preach to you.

Fidyarganyim's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fidyarganyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to horses while wearing green shorts.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.

Bastmegquam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awe-inspiring gorilla.

Bastmegquam created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastmegquam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bastmegquam, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bastmegquam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bastmegquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Always help sick dolphins.

4. Worship no other gods but Bastmegquam.

5. Never think about moons.

Xucpodpadgedtigjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, clever manatee.

Xucpodpadgedtigjarn created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucpodpadgedtigjarn, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xucpodpadgedtigjarn, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xucpodpadgedtigjarn's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Xucpodpadgedtigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

5. Never speak at dusk.

Cedfabpib is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair crow.

Cedfabpib created vertebrates three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cedfabpib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cedfabpib, he will turn you into a slug.

Cedfabpib's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cedfabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place oranges upon stone.

2. Never prepare pineapples during summer.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

Sagyatbet is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, quiet octopus.

Sagyatbet created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagyatbet, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sagyatbet, it will manifest in front of you.

Sagyatbet's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sagyatbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

Fidwigbat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient horse.

Fidwigbat created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidwigbat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fidwigbat, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fidwigbat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fidwigbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not prepare figs while wearing dresses.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with fawn.

5. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.