Kimtipdog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unfair mongoose.

Kimtipdog created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimtipdog, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kimtipdog, he will come to you in dreams.

Kimtipdog's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kimtipdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

5. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

Xuc is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, sage chinchilla.

Xuc created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuc, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xuc, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Xuc's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Xuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with envy.

Renmab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, sapient goblin.

Renmab created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Renmab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Renmab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Renmab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Renmab's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Never leap in the presence of voles.

3. Always maintain humility during holy days.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

Vonkwodfar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, self-assured faun.

Vonkwodfar created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwodfar, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vonkwodfar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vonkwodfar's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Vonkwodfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather three doves near towers.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not wear shirts marked with purple.

4. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.

Cabwodfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful armadillo.

Cabwodfoss created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabwodfoss, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cabwodfoss, she will be very sad.

Cabwodfoss' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Cabwodfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about sharks.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cabwodfoss.

5. Do not eat lentils.

Dunfiddon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast swallow.

Dunfiddon created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunfiddon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dunfiddon, he will turn you into a rock.

Dunfiddon's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dunfiddon's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dunfiddon.

2. Never hurt snakes.

3. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

4. Never curse while facing south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Sigvidfem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-knowing bird.

Sigvidfem created the planet Saturn two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sigvidfem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sigvidfem, it will jump up and down on your head.

Sigvidfem's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sigvidfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless goblin.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap created parasitic wasps five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap, it will curse you with boils.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Febrapnartkabloop Tarnarlfembap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in spring.

2. Never feed cucumbers to frogs while wearing skirts.

3. Hide if nine bats approach from the west.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Heed all portents.