Mappogfag is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty dragon.

Mappogfag created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mappogfag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mappogfag, it will not invite you to parties.

Mappogfag's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Mappogfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Never go into indigo rooms.

3. Never gather seven turtles in one place.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Never think about black holes.

Kanfossqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, slow gorilla.

Kanfossqueeg created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanfossqueeg, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kanfossqueeg, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kanfossqueeg's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kanfossqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Never hurt rats.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

Arnstiklibraw is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous chinchilla.

Arnstiklibraw created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnstiklibraw, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Arnstiklibraw, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Arnstiklibraw's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Arnstiklibraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with fawn.

2. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

3. Never eat apples.

4. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

5. Never feed cucumbers to hamsters while wearing magenta shoes.

Nuttvedgov is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, kind chinchilla.

Nuttvedgov created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvedgov, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nuttvedgov, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Nuttvedgov's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nuttvedgov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silver.

2. Run away if six great tits approach from the east.

3. Never handle gold while unclean.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Learn three new languages a year.

Kamyogvol is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciful skunk.

Kamyogvol created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Kamyogvol, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kamyogvol, he will turn you into a rat.

Kamyogvol's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kamyogvol's Holy Commandments

1. Kamyogvol loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Run away from brown manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Cabyoktap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, competent human.

Cabyoktap created the cosmos six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabyoktap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cabyoktap, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cabyoktap's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cabyoktap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never feed grapes to squirrels while wearing yellow scarves.

3. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the west.

4. Never gather three nematodes near wells.

5. You must pray to Cabyoktap four times a day.

Dogduntip is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, humane hydra.

Dogduntip created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogduntip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dogduntip, it will be mildly annoyed.

Dogduntip's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Dogduntip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never wear violet skirts on sacred days.

5. Never wear indigo shorts.

Bifflisnell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless snake.

Bifflisnell created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifflisnell, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bifflisnell, he will think nothing of it.

Bifflisnell's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bifflisnell's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never run near aardvarks.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.