Rutjintadhin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, annoying naga.

Rutjintadhin created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Rutjintadhin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutjintadhin, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rutjintadhin's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Rutjintadhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

2. Always obey Rutjintadhin's priests.

3. Do not prepare melons while filled with anger.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

Zakcemzog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, staggering horse.

Zakcemzog created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakcemzog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zakcemzog, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Zakcemzog's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zakcemzog's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Do not place gooseberries upon stone.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

Bigriggig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow otter.

Bigriggig created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigriggig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bigriggig, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bigriggig's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bigriggig's Holy Commandments

1. Bigriggig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing five aluminium spheres on your chest.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Erect four iron sculptures of Bigriggig on top of important buildings.

Rillcunlid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, confident clam.

Rillcunlid created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillcunlid, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rillcunlid, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Rillcunlid's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Rillcunlid's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Retreat if nine grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rillcunlid.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

Yarpnulbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind narwhal.

Yarpnulbep created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnulbep, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarpnulbep, it will turn you into a dog.

Yarpnulbep's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Yarpnulbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never feed carrots to turtles while wearing hats.

5. Never think about gravity near birds while wearing orange tights and balancing eight copper spheres on your face.

Lidhubren is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong wolf.

Lidhubren created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidhubren, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lidhubren, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Lidhubren's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Lidhubren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

4. Do not name children after rats.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.

Gontamtab is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous lobster.

Gontamtab created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gontamtab, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gontamtab, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gontamtab's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Gontamtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near cats while wearing mauve stockings.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect nine silicon sculptures of Gontamtab on top of important buildings.

Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, calm butterfly.

Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim created a quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Hudwigsafsomtikpasragbaf Babfarnnurltim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix tomatoes with blood.

2. Do not record signs concerning comets.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.