Cudbesthug is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, weak wolf.

Cudbesthug created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudbesthug, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cudbesthug, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cudbesthug's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Cudbesthug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never think about gravity near capybaras while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. You must pray to Cudbesthug nine times a day.

5. Do not kill goats.

Lagarfben is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate camel.

Lagarfben created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Lagarfben, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lagarfben, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lagarfben's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Lagarfben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never wear red boots.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never mention doves.

Flatbegkop is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered jaguar.

Flatbegkop created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Flatbegkop, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flatbegkop, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatbegkop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Flatbegkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Never feed tomatoes to sheep while wearing yellow hats.

5. Do not listen to music.

Lanbepjad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, awesome lobster.

Lanbepjad created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanbepjad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lanbepjad, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lanbepjad's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lanbepjad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near eagles while wearing yellow hats.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry pigs.

Bafmumbass is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, effective armadillo.

Bafmumbass created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafmumbass, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bafmumbass, it will turn you into a puffin.

Bafmumbass' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bafmumbass' Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Vablenbess is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, sapient guinea pig.

Vablenbess created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vablenbess, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vablenbess, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Vablenbess' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Vablenbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts.

2. Do not take Vablenbess' name in vain.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Vablenbess loves mites, so they must be respected.

Gebyartpogham is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unthinking chicken.

Gebyartpogham created bats three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebyartpogham, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gebyartpogham, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gebyartpogham's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gebyartpogham's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never paint your legs fawn.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Run away from orange whales, for they are unholy.

Jighatstig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, loving squirrel.

Jighatstig created the Black Eye Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Jighatstig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jighatstig, it will turn you into a frog.

Jighatstig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jighatstig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Jighatstig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Never talk about voles.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Hide from green eagles for they are unholy.