Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, wise otter.

Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass' most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Fudtandap Dapstragsawcarfubbass on top of all buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never wear jumpers.

Ruttcitmap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, wise ant.

Ruttcitmap created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ruttcitmap, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ruttcitmap, she will be very unhappy.

Ruttcitmap's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ruttcitmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

5. Shun those given to vanity.

Sitbossdum is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, idiotic butterfly.

Sitbossdum created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitbossdum, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sitbossdum, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sitbossdum's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Sitbossdum's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Sitbossdum loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Never travel toward the east during winter.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never wear purple jumpers.

Sansoghin Ciblathan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, clever owl.

Sansoghin Ciblathan created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sansoghin Ciblathan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sansoghin Ciblathan, it will turn you into a rock.

Sansoghin Ciblathan's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Sansoghin Ciblathan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to nematodes while wearing indigo stockings.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Femcudcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, witless cat.

Femcudcub created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Femcudcub, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Femcudcub, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Femcudcub's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Femcudcub's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never wear purple rings on sacred days.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Dunfemtag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful crocodile.

Dunfemtag created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunfemtag, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunfemtag, he will boil you in a big pot.

Dunfemtag's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Dunfemtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Always count to six before sleeping.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Kancibbast is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, weak owl.

Kancibbast created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kancibbast, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kancibbast, he will be very sad.

Kancibbast's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kancibbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Nellmif is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring troll.

Nellmif created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellmif, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nellmif, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nellmif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nellmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

5. Never skip near ants.