Jonsafpogbafxem is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair wren.

Jonsafpogbafxem created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jonsafpogbafxem, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonsafpogbafxem, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Jonsafpogbafxem's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jonsafpogbafxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching iron.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Hide if four snakes approach from the south.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthoughtful fly.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot created the world three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gubvolzim Lenlarnmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not prepare beans while filled with pride.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Retreat if seven sheep approach from the west.

5. Do not record numbers concerning planets.

Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, deceitful lion.

Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Daptamfetvog Bossmutqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

Bopxucfutgebingmetrip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy rhinoceros.

Bopxucfutgebingmetrip created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopxucfutgebingmetrip, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bopxucfutgebingmetrip, she will remove you from existence.

Bopxucfutgebingmetrip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bopxucfutgebingmetrip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese.

2. Never stain your face with cyan.

3. Never eat bread on days of mourning.

4. Never jump in the presence of elders.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Lipkadkar is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, compassionate hamster.

Lipkadkar created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipkadkar, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lipkadkar, it will be mildly annoyed.

Lipkadkar's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Lipkadkar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Lipkadkar in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not record signs concerning planets.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never sing in the presence of elders.

5. Lipkadkar must be the most important thing in your life.

Nigcatwod Rotflowcip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent goose.

Nigcatwod Rotflowcip created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nigcatwod Rotflowcip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nigcatwod Rotflowcip, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nigcatwod Rotflowcip's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nigcatwod Rotflowcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

2. Do not prepare bananas while wearing hats.

3. Shun those given to sloth.

4. Do not kill swans.

5. Never proclaim while facing east.

Sandgepquat is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, vain bird.

Sandgepquat created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandgepquat, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sandgepquat, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Sandgepquat's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sandgepquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not wear gold on your body.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Sandgepquat in the centre of the settlement.

Gomquamjad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying badger.

Gomquamjad created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomquamjad, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gomquamjad, she will destroy your favourite star.

Gomquamjad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gomquamjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of elders.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Gomquamjad on top of all buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.