Megsisnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, confident pig.

Megsisnurt created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megsisnurt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Megsisnurt, he will jump up and down on your head.

Megsisnurt's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Megsisnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Megsisnurt on top of important buildings.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Never touch water while blessed.

5. Do not speak about peas.

Kikcaddutflag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid finch.

Kikcaddutflag created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikcaddutflag, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kikcaddutflag, he will turn you into a snail.

Kikcaddutflag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kikcaddutflag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Always count to seven before sleeping.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Always look after injured monkeys.

Sidarnwad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, strong narwhal.

Sidarnwad created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidarnwad, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sidarnwad, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sidarnwad's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Sidarnwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Flabfarnnull is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, cheerful unicorn.

Flabfarnnull created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabfarnnull, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flabfarnnull, he will be very unhappy.

Flabfarnnull's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flabfarnnull's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flabfarnnull.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Xucjatgub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, wise mink.

Xucjatgub created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucjatgub, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucjatgub, he will turn you into a worm.

Xucjatgub's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Xucjatgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with purple.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.

Lunvagspag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy hamster.

Lunvagspag created the Milkyway three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunvagspag, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lunvagspag, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Lunvagspag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lunvagspag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silver sculptures of Lunvagspag on top of important buildings.

2. Never touch water while blessed.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

4. Do not speak about figs.

5. Never cross rivers at midday.

Litrotcap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage narwhal.

Litrotcap created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Litrotcap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Litrotcap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Litrotcap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Litrotcap's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove kilts before touching carbon.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near seals while wearing red corsets and balancing three iron spheres on your feet.

5. Always help geese in need.

Sterhasdonbum is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, impressive fish.

Sterhasdonbum created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sterhasdonbum, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sterhasdonbum, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Sterhasdonbum's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Sterhasdonbum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never speak aloud of names.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Do not run in public.