Jenortlop is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sage dingo.

Jenortlop created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jenortlop, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Jenortlop, it will jump up and down on your head.

Jenortlop's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Jenortlop's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about comets.

4. Never think about electromagnetism.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Pitlablap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, dishonest gerbil.

Pitlablap created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitlablap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitlablap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pitlablap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Pitlablap's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your face with green.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Pitlablap loves geese, so they must be respected.

4. Never curse while facing north.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

Cubhantif is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, boastful salamander.

Cubhantif created water four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubhantif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cubhantif, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cubhantif's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cubhantif's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Cubhantif on top of important buildings.

3. Never chant in the presence of ants.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Barnsasstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, effective shark.

Barnsasstrag created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsasstrag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnsasstrag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Barnsasstrag's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Barnsasstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Barnsasstrag loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

4. Do not name children after nematodes.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Japcin is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, passionate yak.

Japcin created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcin, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Japcin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Japcin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Japcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always share nuts with strangers, but never with turtles.

2. Do not keep nine manatees in a large pit.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not listen to music.

Dotcappin Randanbossflat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring wyrm.

Dotcappin Randanbossflat created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotcappin Randanbossflat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dotcappin Randanbossflat, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Dotcappin Randanbossflat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Dotcappin Randanbossflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

3. Never cross crossroads at midday.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Never curse while facing east.

Safpaslop is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, two-faced camel.

Safpaslop created the world seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safpaslop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Safpaslop, he will destroy your favourite star.

Safpaslop's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Safpaslop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Safpaslop.

5. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

Hommaplit is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tiresome dragonfly.

Hommaplit created the Virgo Supercluster six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hommaplit, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hommaplit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hommaplit's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hommaplit's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Hommaplit on top of all buildings.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Never sit in winter.

5. Hide from fawn whales for they are unholy.