Bestarfkam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable jellyfish.

Bestarfkam created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestarfkam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bestarfkam, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bestarfkam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bestarfkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Never feed lots of lemons to bats while wearing fawn stockings.

5. Do not name children after aardvarks.

Abfligcep is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous finch.

Abfligcep created the Large Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Abfligcep, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Abfligcep, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Abfligcep's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Abfligcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during summer.

2. Never think about special relativity near tortoises while wearing violet hats and balancing seven carbon spheres on your head.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Never paint your back blue.

5. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

Haplargpad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, awe-inspiring wolf.

Haplargpad created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haplargpad, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Haplargpad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Haplargpad's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Haplargpad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines on fasting days.

2. Never proclaim while facing south.

3. Run away from purple foxes, for they are unholy.

4. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Haplargpad in the centre of the settlement.

Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical warg.

Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon, it will laugh at you.

Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Quimbagtitwanquagruttkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Koncubdut is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, impressive chicken.

Koncubdut created the Sunflower Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Koncubdut, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Koncubdut, he will not care.

Koncubdut's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Koncubdut's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Koncubdut.

2. You must never eat wheat.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Never gather three swans near wells.

5. Run away from pink snails, for they are unholy.

Wanfliscuss is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful whale.

Wanfliscuss created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanfliscuss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wanfliscuss, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wanfliscuss' most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Wanfliscuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never speak aloud of secrets.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Hattonsat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, boastful penguin.

Hattonsat created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Hattonsat, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hattonsat, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Hattonsat's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Hattonsat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never speak the names of moons aloud.

4. Always remove stockings before touching platinum.

5. Do not listen to music.

Rawpopjad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, grumpy naga.

Rawpopjad created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Rawpopjad, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rawpopjad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rawpopjad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Rawpopjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never whisper while facing east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing coats.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never mark doors with red.