Fodladyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage hyena.

Fodladyarl created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Fodladyarl, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fodladyarl, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fodladyarl's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fodladyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

2. Do not resist order.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away if three seals approach from the north.

Ratcadrat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, happy lizard.

Ratcadrat created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratcadrat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ratcadrat, he will turn you into a mouse.

Ratcadrat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Ratcadrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

4. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

5. Never mix coconuts with ash.

Zagdunjop is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, charitable wasp.

Zagdunjop created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Zagdunjop, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zagdunjop, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Zagdunjop's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Zagdunjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always treat goats with great respect.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.

Fotsabxin is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, capable weasel.

Fotsabxin created energy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsabxin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fotsabxin, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fotsabxin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Fotsabxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must pray to Fotsabxin eight times a day.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Always pray immersed in water.

Vildunzedfum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful snake.

Vildunzedfum created the Whirlpool Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vildunzedfum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vildunzedfum, it will turn you into a rat.

Vildunzedfum's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vildunzedfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not bounce at crossroads.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Vildunzedfum on top of all buildings.

Fengabhad is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing skunk.

Fengabhad created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fengabhad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Fengabhad, she will manifest in front of you.

Fengabhad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fengabhad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

2. Never sing in the presence of elders.

3. Never allow aardvarks to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

5. Pray only in shadows.

Tigbissced is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent crab.

Tigbissced created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigbissced, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tigbissced, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Tigbissced's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tigbissced's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tigbissced.

2. Always help sick gulls.

3. Tigbissced loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Never point your neck toward the north during prayer.

Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, bad-tempered goat.

Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig, it will laugh at you.

Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yimtonjap Mipbemdubzodfatnurlpigfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never touch ash while unclean.

3. Never feed lots of wheat to ducks while wearing fawn kilts.

4. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.

5. Never adorn your face with violet markings.