Rakbunlitgon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciful squirrel.

Rakbunlitgon created the solar system twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rakbunlitgon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rakbunlitgon, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Rakbunlitgon's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Rakbunlitgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near bats while wearing white hats and balancing eight carbon spheres on your neck.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never prepare melons during summer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

Armvonfem is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying hare.

Armvonfem created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armvonfem, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Armvonfem, it will try to impress you with trees.

Armvonfem's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Armvonfem's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Never hurt aardvarks.

5. You must never eat pineapples.

Sawpogbog is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, bad-tempered wasp.

Sawpogbog created an atom three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawpogbog, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sawpogbog, it will turn you into a sheep.

Sawpogbog's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Sawpogbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Run away if three sharks approach from the south.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Gamteentif is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful hydra.

Gamteentif created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Gamteentif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gamteentif, he will refuse to believe in you.

Gamteentif's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Gamteentif's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Gamteentif must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never bounce in the presence of elders.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Always take life seriously.

Cemqueegfit is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive capybara.

Cemqueegfit created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Cemqueegfit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cemqueegfit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Cemqueegfit's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cemqueegfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always share bananas with strangers, but never with manatees.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Dangenzed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart snake.

Dangenzed created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dangenzed, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dangenzed, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Dangenzed's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Dangenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

Dapnanveen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy manatee.

Dapnanveen created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapnanveen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dapnanveen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dapnanveen's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dapnanveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. You must pray to Dapnanveen seven times a day.

5. Never hurt squirrels.

Gennatkar is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful slug.

Gennatkar created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Gennatkar, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gennatkar, she will destroy your home planet.

Gennatkar's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Gennatkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Shun those given to sloth.