Cimmapgubgut is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, omnipotent hedgehog.

Cimmapgubgut created the planet Saturn five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimmapgubgut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cimmapgubgut, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cimmapgubgut's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Cimmapgubgut's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

Zigdudtadflanmabnur is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, proud sheep.

Zigdudtadflanmabnur created oxygen five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigdudtadflanmabnur, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zigdudtadflanmabnur, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Zigdudtadflanmabnur's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Zigdudtadflanmabnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zigdudtadflanmabnur's priests.

2. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with anger.

3. Never sit in the presence of grasshopers.

4. Do not leap at crossroads.

5. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Zigdudtadflanmabnur in the centre of the settlement.

Natgessmut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, slow eagle.

Natgessmut created humankind five million years ago.

If you believe in Natgessmut, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Natgessmut, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Natgessmut's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Natgessmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at midday.

2. Erect four platinum sculptures of Natgessmut on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not eat melons.

Fitponfon is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omnipotent faun.

Fitponfon created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Fitponfon, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fitponfon, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Fitponfon's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Fitponfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Fitponfon.

5. Never prepare parsnips during summer.

Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, temperamental centaur.

Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Tailxuckgetqueegbitcusslarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

2. Run away if three moths approach from the south.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of strangers.

4. Never proclaim while facing north.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Flapstikbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, two-faced tortoise.

Flapstikbiss created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapstikbiss, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flapstikbiss, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Flapstikbiss' most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Flapstikbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not take Flapstikbiss' name in vain.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about cell theory.

Cabnablen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, competent pigeon.

Cabnablen created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Cabnablen, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cabnablen, he will be very unhappy.

Cabnablen's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Cabnablen's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to witness sacred rites.

2. Do not prepare coconuts while wearing skirts.

3. Never record signs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not prepare melons while filled with pride.

Narfagfob is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, cheerful grasshopper.

Narfagfob created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Narfagfob, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Narfagfob, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Narfagfob's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Narfagfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never remain bowed at midnight.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Pray towards the south.