Natbonkban is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing sheep.

Natbonkban created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Natbonkban, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Natbonkban, he will send you a sign.

Natbonkban's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Natbonkban's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine sheep approach from the east.

2. Do not prepare cherries while filled with envy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always treat rats with great respect.

5. Feed all hungry frogs.

Vedflagdab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent octopus.

Vedflagdab created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vedflagdab, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vedflagdab, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Vedflagdab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vedflagdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. Never wear green skirts.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not name children after shrews.

Bamrotwon is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable lion.

Bamrotwon created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamrotwon, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bamrotwon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bamrotwon's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Bamrotwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never sing near great tits.

3. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

4. Worship no other gods but Bamrotwon.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Botyokzaklun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, ill-tempered lion.

Botyokzaklun created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botyokzaklun, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Botyokzaklun, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Botyokzaklun's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Botyokzaklun's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Erect eight gold sculptures of Botyokzaklun on top of important buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

Quampidtag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient raven.

Quampidtag created a photon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quampidtag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quampidtag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Quampidtag's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Quampidtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to voles while wearing purple shirts.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Do not place garlic upon stone.

5. Never feed corn to hamsters while wearing kilts.

Farzignul is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, deceitful hummingbird.

Farzignul created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farzignul, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farzignul, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Farzignul's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Farzignul's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Never mix aubergines with water.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help dolphins.

5. Never write about planets.

Sogtagnad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish owl.

Sogtagnad created the planet Saturn two years ago.

If you believe in Sogtagnad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sogtagnad, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sogtagnad's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sogtagnad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Sogtagnad on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always act with purity.

Jabbitbep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent mongoose.

Jabbitbep created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbitbep, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabbitbep, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jabbitbep's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jabbitbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention bats.

2. Always maintain purity during holy days.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never talk about fire.