Row is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring narwhal.

Row created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Row, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Row, he will turn you into a puffin.

Row's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Row's Holy Commandments

1. Put Row first in all things.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never chant while facing west.

5. Do not keep six cats in a large pit.

Rowdibpan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, sapient guinea pig.

Rowdibpan created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowdibpan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rowdibpan, she will turn you into a plant.

Rowdibpan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rowdibpan's Holy Commandments

1. Goats are not to be trusted.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rowdibpan.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Dibpogarp Sabmiging is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful seal.

Dibpogarp Sabmiging created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Dibpogarp Sabmiging, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dibpogarp Sabmiging, it will turn you into a mouse.

Dibpogarp Sabmiging's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dibpogarp Sabmiging's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention birds.

2. Dibpogarp Sabmiging loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. You must pray to Dibpogarp Sabmiging five times a day.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Camrighatnabpitcatfub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unfair penguin.

Camrighatnabpitcatfub created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Camrighatnabpitcatfub, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Camrighatnabpitcatfub, she will destroy your home planet.

Camrighatnabpitcatfub's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Camrighatnabpitcatfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peas.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Never adorn your legs with green markings.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Camrighatnabpitcatfub in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

Pomvogapprawgam is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic mink.

Pomvogapprawgam created the cosmos five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomvogapprawgam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pomvogapprawgam, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pomvogapprawgam's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Pomvogapprawgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of beans to moths while wearing blue skirts.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect eight iron sculptures of Pomvogapprawgam on top of important buildings.

4. Run away if five snails approach from the east.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Bigdutsog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy walrus.

Bigdutsog created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigdutsog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bigdutsog, it will turn you into a rat.

Bigdutsog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bigdutsog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Hide from green birds for they are unholy.

Getlistceb is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, amazing dryad.

Getlistceb created the planet Jupiter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getlistceb, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Getlistceb, it will turn you into a hamster.

Getlistceb's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Getlistceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Never run in the presence of elders.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Run away from purple monkeys, for they are unholy.

Bellquill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, staggering swan.

Bellquill created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellquill, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bellquill, he will turn you into a mole.

Bellquill's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bellquill's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured grasshopers.

2. Do not keep three capybaras in a large pit.

3. Never prepare nuts during winter.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

5. Shun those given to greed.