Fempidbass is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, amazing dingo.

Fempidbass created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fempidbass, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fempidbass, she will not care at all.

Fempidbass' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fempidbass' Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Never mention great tits.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not kill eagles.

Pangnurbem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable donkey.

Pangnurbem created the Sunflower Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Pangnurbem, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Pangnurbem, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pangnurbem's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pangnurbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs.

2. Do not step barefoot upon blue earth.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Nanomtyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous weasel.

Nanomtyarp created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nanomtyarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nanomtyarp, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nanomtyarp's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Nanomtyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

Luncedwit is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, self-assured beaver.

Luncedwit created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Luncedwit, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Luncedwit, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Luncedwit's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Luncedwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

2. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

3. Never feed grapes to turtles while wearing shirts.

4. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Larpmidmap is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, flying wyrm.

Larpmidmap created matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Larpmidmap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Larpmidmap, it will make you grow a tail.

Larpmidmap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Larpmidmap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear rings marked with fawn.

Flangomtif is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, awesome skunk.

Flangomtif created silver seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flangomtif, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flangomtif, it will turn you into a plant.

Flangomtif's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Flangomtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow ducks to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never travel toward the west during summer.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Flangomtif in the centre of the settlement.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray only in shadows.

Getjoppas is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, boastful porpoise.

Getjoppas created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getjoppas, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Getjoppas, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Getjoppas' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Getjoppas' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Retreat if nine doves approach from the east.

3. Never gather three snails in one place.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never leap near snakes.

Bodmatsidlap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, flying cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bodmatsidlap created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bodmatsidlap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bodmatsidlap, it will turn you into a slug.

Bodmatsidlap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bodmatsidlap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Never wear indigo skirts.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never go into brown rooms.