Ceblegjintan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, passionate eagle.

Ceblegjintan created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ceblegjintan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ceblegjintan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Ceblegjintan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Ceblegjintan's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow birds to witness sacred rites.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to otters while wearing gray boots.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Always treat frogs with great respect.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Wotrawbun is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic centaur.

Wotrawbun created Africa three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotrawbun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wotrawbun, it will turn you into a dog.

Wotrawbun's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Wotrawbun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always count to seven before sleeping.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not sprint in public.

Banbemquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish shark.

Banbemquaf created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Banbemquaf, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Banbemquaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Banbemquaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Banbemquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Do not place spinach upon stone.

4. Always wear plain ear rings during rituals.

5. Always store lentils above ground.

Bignig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent goose.

Bignig created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bignig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bignig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bignig's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bignig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Do not hurt whales.

5. Always wear red.

Nurlquafraw is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humane bird.

Nurlquafraw created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlquafraw, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nurlquafraw, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nurlquafraw's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nurlquafraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

5. Always look after injured ducks.

Ponvonkcan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome shark.

Ponvonkcan created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponvonkcan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ponvonkcan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Ponvonkcan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Ponvonkcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near bats while wearing violet boots and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never mention swans.

4. Never jump in the presence of cats.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

Sagvingun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, all-knowing spider.

Sagvingun created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagvingun, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sagvingun, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sagvingun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sagvingun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not sit at mountains.

4. Do not speak of ultrasonics near sacred fires.

5. Never mention capybaras.

Cetfarnvadpit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing finch.

Cetfarnvadpit created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetfarnvadpit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cetfarnvadpit, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cetfarnvadpit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cetfarnvadpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.