Renbop is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring bat.

Renbop created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Renbop, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Renbop, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Renbop's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Renbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of nuts to monkeys while wearing brown coats.

2. Never adorn your head with indigo markings.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

5. Do not study nucleic acids on holy days.

Pogkomwig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, caring warg.

Pogkomwig created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogkomwig, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pogkomwig, she will turn you into a mole.

Pogkomwig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Pogkomwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at forests.

2. Hide from gray squirrels for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. You must love Pogkomwig.

5. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

Safzodlarghas is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident turtle.

Safzodlarghas created the solar system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Safzodlarghas, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Safzodlarghas, she will turn you into a worm.

Safzodlarghas' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Safzodlarghas' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white rats, for they are unholy.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.

3. Never gather six manatees in one place.

4. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

5. Always maintain patience during holy days.

Jenzentag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy bee.

Jenzentag created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenzentag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jenzentag, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jenzentag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jenzentag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. You must love Jenzentag.

3. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

4. Never stain your head with magenta.

5. Never mention foxes.

Jangumbod is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring crab.

Jangumbod created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Jangumbod, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jangumbod, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jangumbod's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Jangumbod's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red ear rings on sacred days.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jangumbod.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

4. Always maintain patience during holy days.

5. Jangumbod loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

Tapzenfag is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unjust deer.

Tapzenfag created a Higgs boson four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapzenfag, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tapzenfag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tapzenfag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tapzenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never pray while filled with joy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always maintain humility during fasting days.

Mothot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, wise dolphin.

Mothot created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Mothot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mothot, he will turn you into a puffin.

Mothot's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Mothot's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Put Mothot first in all things.

4. Never gather four monkeys near bridges.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Sombestjonnak is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, duplicitous seal.

Sombestjonnak created the planet Venus three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sombestjonnak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sombestjonnak, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Sombestjonnak's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Sombestjonnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo boots.

2. Do not prepare limes while wearing jumpers.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.