Bidpitdog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish yak.

Bidpitdog created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bidpitdog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bidpitdog, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bidpitdog's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bidpitdog's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never sit in the presence of elders.

3. You must love Bidpitdog.

4. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

5. Never hop in summer.

Loptamcut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring coyote.

Loptamcut created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Loptamcut, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Loptamcut, she will come to you in dreams.

Loptamcut's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Loptamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Always wear plain skirts during rituals.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat bark.

Disstiklarn is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy parrot.

Disstiklarn created an electron three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disstiklarn, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Disstiklarn, it will have a low opinion of you.

Disstiklarn's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Disstiklarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing mauve coats and balancing four aluminium spheres on your back.

3. Never approach forests carrying wood.

4. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.

Labvonbess is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, flying coyote.

Labvonbess created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Labvonbess, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Labvonbess, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Labvonbess' most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Labvonbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never paint your hands violet.

4. Never wear cyan shirts.

5. Run away if four gulls approach from the west.

Ligyamkan is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, egotistical snail.

Ligyamkan created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligyamkan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ligyamkan, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ligyamkan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ligyamkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

2. Do not sprint at rivers.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never mix grapes with oil.

Baggomrip is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-assured human.

Baggomrip created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Baggomrip, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Baggomrip, it will turn you into a tree.

Baggomrip's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Baggomrip's Holy Commandments

1. Baggomrip loves snails, so they must be respected.

2. Shun those given to sloth.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

Zogmilpodxentettikopbap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, strong centaur.

Zogmilpodxentettikopbap created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogmilpodxentettikopbap, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zogmilpodxentettikopbap, she will turn you into a snail.

Zogmilpodxentettikopbap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Zogmilpodxentettikopbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Never wear orange coats on sacred days.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Dagflatpark is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying dragon.

Dagflatpark created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagflatpark, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dagflatpark, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dagflatpark's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Dagflatpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about bananas.

2. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

5. Do not resist chaos.