Xinhencad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, awesome bee.

Xinhencad created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Xinhencad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xinhencad, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Xinhencad's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Xinhencad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Never mention whales.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

Fenpomjon is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, effective weasel.

Fenpomjon created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Fenpomjon, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fenpomjon, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fenpomjon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fenpomjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet green.

2. Always obey Fenpomjon's priests.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Never proclaim while facing south.

5. Never stain your hands with magenta.

Bogxucvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, bad-tempered tapir.

Bogxucvin created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogxucvin, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bogxucvin, he will not invite you to parties.

Bogxucvin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bogxucvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing yellow boots and balancing five platinum spheres on your chest.

2. Always remove tights before touching silicon.

3. Bogxucvin loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never stain your hands with gray.

Stigpasven is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, witless capybara.

Stigpasven created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stigpasven, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stigpasven, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Stigpasven's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Stigpasven's Holy Commandments

1. Ducks are not to be trusted.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stigpasven.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not fashion tools from gold.

5. Never write about dark energy.

Cadbonmisdud is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented hedgehog.

Cadbonmisdud created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cadbonmisdud, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cadbonmisdud, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cadbonmisdud's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cadbonmisdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never paint your back white.

5. Never fashion tools from ash.

Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, pitiless tortoise.

Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag, she will turn you into a tree.

Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kamdumkonstipfomlat Flatbellspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.

Ingstipwon is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish chicken.

Ingstipwon created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingstipwon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ingstipwon, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ingstipwon's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Ingstipwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to great tits while wearing red dresses.

2. Never laugh in spring.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Hasgonmif is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless eagle.

Hasgonmif created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hasgonmif, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hasgonmif, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Hasgonmif's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hasgonmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never tolerate songs in holy places.