Japlikcin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humorless meerkat.

Japlikcin created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Japlikcin, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Japlikcin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Japlikcin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Japlikcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six tapirs near bridges.

2. Always maintain patience during holy days.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look at galaxies.

Arpladspag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, sapient mouse.

Arpladspag created the Tadpole Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpladspag, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Arpladspag, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Arpladspag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Arpladspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after capybaras.

2. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not speak of special relativity near sacred fires.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Gofsispitcubtailpinpib is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, bad-tempered cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gofsispitcubtailpinpib created the Sunflower Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofsispitcubtailpinpib, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gofsispitcubtailpinpib, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gofsispitcubtailpinpib's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Gofsispitcubtailpinpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Never mix onions with ash.

Wadbosstarp is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, witless goose.

Wadbosstarp created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Wadbosstarp, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Wadbosstarp, it will turn you into a snail.

Wadbosstarp's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Wadbosstarp's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

3. Never mention snails.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help sheep.

Negtadmum is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ill-tempered warg.

Negtadmum created a Higgs boson two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negtadmum, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Negtadmum, he will boil you in a big pot.

Negtadmum's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Negtadmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Negtadmum on top of all buildings.

5. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

Cepgen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, strong finch.

Cepgen created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cepgen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cepgen, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cepgen's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Cepgen's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

4. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

Tonkvogtom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, proud hedgehog.

Tonkvogtom created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkvogtom, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkvogtom, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tonkvogtom's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tonkvogtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing west.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Tonkvogtom must be the most important thing in your life.

Dossbatparkmon is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable porpoise.

Dossbatparkmon created the Tadpole Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossbatparkmon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Dossbatparkmon, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dossbatparkmon's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dossbatparkmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not take Dossbatparkmon's name in vain.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak at dawn.