Larpnuttsugcen is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, awesome meerkat.

Larpnuttsugcen created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Larpnuttsugcen, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Larpnuttsugcen, it will refuse to believe in you.

Larpnuttsugcen's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Larpnuttsugcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always help sick snakes.

4. Never stain your back with pink.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Rutsitflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish lobster.

Rutsitflan created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutsitflan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rutsitflan, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rutsitflan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Rutsitflan's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never curse while facing west.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring dove.

Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jiprilvol Fatcapced Jam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray rings.

2. Never skip near shrews.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, staggering centaur.

Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Damtimmotflagquafnanlibbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while tainted.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Do not prepare beans while wearing coats.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Rawmippon is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, all-knowing fish.

Rawmippon created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rawmippon, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rawmippon, he will jump up and down on your head.

Rawmippon's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Rawmippon's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine horses near walls.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Never feed lots of cucumbers to mice while wearing magenta shirts.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Kadbepcab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, confident gerbil.

Kadbepcab created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kadbepcab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kadbepcab, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kadbepcab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Kadbepcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Heed all visions.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect five gold sculptures of Kadbepcab on top of important buildings.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Wanzagtikfot is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring hippopotamus.

Wanzagtikfot created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wanzagtikfot, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Wanzagtikfot, it will refuse to believe in you.

Wanzagtikfot's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Wanzagtikfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never touch water while blessed.

4. Hide if four bats approach from the north.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, caring cat.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gembinmis Fengetbadnakontmotsanhud's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of children.

2. Never mix pineapples with blood.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never gather eight rats near wells.