Gentettifub is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless porpoise.

Gentettifub created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gentettifub, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gentettifub, she will turn you into a sheep.

Gentettifub's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gentettifub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Horses are not to be trusted.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Never stain your legs with black.

Zanlanlog is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered dove.

Zanlanlog created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanlanlog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanlanlog, she will refuse to believe in you.

Zanlanlog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zanlanlog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not keep seven porpoises in a large pit.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Zanlanlog on top of important buildings.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Mincencut Sisfasmon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, effective jackal.

Mincencut Sisfasmon created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Mincencut Sisfasmon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mincencut Sisfasmon, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Mincencut Sisfasmon's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Mincencut Sisfasmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always wear orange.

3. Mincencut Sisfasmon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never feed peas to snakes while wearing shorts.

5. Never jump in holy places.

Xennibont is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, generous deer.

Xennibont created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xennibont, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Xennibont, it will send you a sign.

Xennibont's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Xennibont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always remove tights before touching platinum.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Vangomvon Zimcebkap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, awe-inspiring sheep.

Vangomvon Zimcebkap created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vangomvon Zimcebkap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vangomvon Zimcebkap, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vangomvon Zimcebkap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Vangomvon Zimcebkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Never think about optics near doves while wearing green hats and balancing eight iron spheres on your arms.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Vangomvon Zimcebkap in the centre of the settlement.

Mipsadbog Metxensom is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, egotistical cobra.

Mipsadbog Metxensom created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipsadbog Metxensom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mipsadbog Metxensom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Mipsadbog Metxensom's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Mipsadbog Metxensom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat beans on holy days.

4. Always remove rings before touching platinum.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

Veenwatfet is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, merciless dingo.

Veenwatfet created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenwatfet, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Veenwatfet, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Veenwatfet's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Veenwatfet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always remove ear rings before entering holy places.

3. Never feed onions to grasshopers while wearing orange stockings.

4. Always obey Veenwatfet's priests.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Tarjarnhim is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, thoughtless wombat.

Tarjarnhim created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarjarnhim, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tarjarnhim, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tarjarnhim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tarjarnhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch ash while unclean.

2. Never feed turnips to bats while wearing shorts.

3. Never talk about nucleic acids.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.