Tagzagrowbadbotgid is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast monkey.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagzagrowbadbotgid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tagzagrowbadbotgid, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tagzagrowbadbotgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Never eat cherries on days of mourning.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not consume tomatoes at dawn.

5. Always help sick cats.

Lunhudgof is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident shark.

Lunhudgof created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunhudgof, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lunhudgof, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lunhudgof's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lunhudgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Lunhudgof on top of all buildings.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

Loopfadzan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, resourceful grasshopper.

Loopfadzan created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopfadzan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Loopfadzan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Loopfadzan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Loopfadzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of whales.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.

Pigflowgum is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, wise cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pigflowgum created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Pigflowgum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pigflowgum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pigflowgum's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Pigflowgum's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

3. Put Pigflowgum first in all things.

4. Hide if four birds approach from the north.

5. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

Flowbegnull is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid alligator.

Flowbegnull created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flowbegnull, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flowbegnull, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Flowbegnull's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Flowbegnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snails.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never laugh near swans.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful shark.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad created life two years ago.

If you believe in Bomkikwee Gofkamgad, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bomkikwee Gofkamgad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Bomkikwee Gofkamgad's Holy Commandments

1. Bomkikwee Gofkamgad loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Never speak at dusk.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never wear turquoise corsets on sacred days.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

Dobquatgamjop is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, confident rhinoceros.

Dobquatgamjop created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobquatgamjop, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dobquatgamjop, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dobquatgamjop's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Dobquatgamjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Never fashion tools from bone.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

Sterlarpveen is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, annoying tortoise.

Sterlarpveen created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sterlarpveen, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sterlarpveen, it will think nothing of it.

Sterlarpveen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sterlarpveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.