Lancibjat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, witless coyote.

Lancibjat created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lancibjat, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lancibjat, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Lancibjat's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Lancibjat's Holy Commandments

1. Put Lancibjat first in all things.

2. Run away if five gulls approach from the east.

3. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Never talk about galaxies.

Negfedbif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, boastful hamster.

Negfedbif created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negfedbif, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Negfedbif, she will make you grow a tail.

Negfedbif's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Negfedbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Rats are not to be trusted.

4. Shun those given to cruelty.

5. Never wear black rings.

Gonbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, proud lizard.

Gonbonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gonbonk, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gonbonk, he will not care at all.

Gonbonk's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gonbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from stone.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

3. Never stain your neck with green.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Retreat if seven dolphins approach from the south.

Guncatzan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing bat.

Guncatzan created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncatzan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Guncatzan, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Guncatzan's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Guncatzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near mites while wearing mauve rings.

3. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about optics.

Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, clever centaur.

Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Davdamwegpasgigyikquimdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

2. Always wash your arms before prayer.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Retreat if four frogs approach from the west.

Midgonbut is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-powerful squid.

Midgonbut created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Midgonbut, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Midgonbut, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Midgonbut's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Midgonbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare peanuts during spring.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always share strawberries with strangers, but never with horses.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Kikwodpid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy grasshopper.

Kikwodpid created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Kikwodpid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kikwodpid, he will turn you into a frog.

Kikwodpid's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kikwodpid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place limes upon stone.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Always wash your hands before prayer.

5. Never think about galaxies.

Libpasfly is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-powerful coyote.

Libpasfly created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Libpasfly, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Libpasfly, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Libpasfly's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Libpasfly's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat tomatoes.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Do not contemplate gravity during the night.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not prepare limes while wearing tights.