Fabflatcet is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking unicorn.

Fabflatcet created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Fabflatcet, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fabflatcet, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Fabflatcet's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fabflatcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nucleic acids.

2. Never jump in winter.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Fabflatcet in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never chant while facing north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

Bugfossdon is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, quiet finch.

Bugfossdon created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Bugfossdon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bugfossdon, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bugfossdon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bugfossdon's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help rats.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

Dogvandan is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish grasshopper.

Dogvandan created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogvandan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dogvandan, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dogvandan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dogvandan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

Tamhudkabren is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, temperamental dugong.

Tamhudkabren created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tamhudkabren, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tamhudkabren, it will manifest in front of you.

Tamhudkabren's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Tamhudkabren's Holy Commandments

1. Remain prostrate during prayer.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never gather nine hamsters near towers.

4. Do not fashion tools from lead.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tamhudkabren in the centre of the settlement.

Jipyarpzak is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical wren.

Jipyarpzak created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jipyarpzak, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jipyarpzak, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Jipyarpzak's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Jipyarpzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about archaea.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Jipyarpzak on top of important buildings.

3. Do not kill shrews.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. You must never eat limes.

Jarnpaklun is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, smart dugong.

Jarnpaklun created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnpaklun, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jarnpaklun, he will destroy your home planet.

Jarnpaklun's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Jarnpaklun's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six iron sculptures of Jarnpaklun on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to mites while wearing orange trousers.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

Tenladaf is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unselfish donkey.

Tenladaf created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenladaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tenladaf, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tenladaf's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tenladaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tenladaf.

2. Never cross forests at midnight.

3. Never think about dark matter near moths while wearing cyan shorts and balancing nine lead spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near horses while wearing orange dresses.

5. Pray towards the west.

Godyikyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witty chicken.

Godyikyok created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godyikyok, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Godyikyok, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Godyikyok's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Godyikyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in spring.

2. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never mention sharks.

5. Never wear red corsets on sacred days.