Gennad is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic beaver.

Gennad created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gennad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gennad, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gennad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gennad's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Do not place onions upon stone.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Gennad in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Queegcancem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, ruthless jaguar.

Queegcancem created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegcancem, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Queegcancem, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Queegcancem's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Queegcancem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Queegcancem's priests.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Queegcancem on top of all buildings.

Lenfedlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, uncaring mongoose.

Lenfedlarg created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lenfedlarg, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lenfedlarg, he will try to impress you with trees.

Lenfedlarg's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Lenfedlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

4. Do not chant at mountains.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

Jabzenrot is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, amazing fly.

Jabzenrot created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabzenrot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jabzenrot, he will jump up and down on your head.

Jabzenrot's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jabzenrot's Holy Commandments

1. Jabzenrot loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect five carbon sculptures of Jabzenrot on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Never talk about optics near capybaras while wearing fawn jumpers.

5. Put Jabzenrot first in all things.

Mumpassan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, moody lion.

Mumpassan created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumpassan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mumpassan, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Mumpassan's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Mumpassan's Holy Commandments

1. Mumpassan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Erect four nickel sculptures of Mumpassan on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat peas on days of mourning.

5. Do not name children after mites.

Tendagjam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unfair turtle.

Tendagjam created the Sunflower Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tendagjam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tendagjam, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tendagjam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Tendagjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare carrots while wearing kilts.

2. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never speak at dusk.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Gunmonxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, wise alligator.

Gunmonxuc created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Gunmonxuc, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gunmonxuc, it will destroy your home planet.

Gunmonxuc's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gunmonxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never feed lots of beans to geese while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not study bacteria on holy days.

Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, uncaring unicorn.

Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab, it will have a low opinion of you.

Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Quafwabligbarnnig Yarpsasbot Dudragvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never whisper while facing south.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never prepare parsnips during autumn.

5. Do not resist chaos.