Hivxucgeb is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, charitable camel.

Hivxucgeb created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hivxucgeb, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hivxucgeb, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Hivxucgeb's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hivxucgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near rats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never eat turnips on days of mourning.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing cyan tights and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.

5. Never handle lead while unclean.

Arprullrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, staggering jellyfish.

Arprullrutt created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arprullrutt, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arprullrutt, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Arprullrutt's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Arprullrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with indigo.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Always look after injured frogs.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not step barefoot upon mauve earth.

Babstiknat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental dog.

Babstiknat created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Babstiknat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Babstiknat, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Babstiknat's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Babstiknat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare corn while filled with joy.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Babstiknat in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never gather eight sharks near wells.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Babstiknat.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, able coyote.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet dresses.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Always share tomatoes with strangers, but never with otters.

4. Always obey Tapgumxuc Dubzaglat's priests.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Vidpopflylipponcin is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, witty owl.

Vidpopflylipponcin created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidpopflylipponcin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vidpopflylipponcin, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Vidpopflylipponcin's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Vidpopflylipponcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat coconuts on fasting days.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vidpopflylipponcin.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always wear plain jumpers during rituals.

Jengatcuss is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, charitable snail.

Jengatcuss created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jengatcuss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jengatcuss, it will not care at all.

Jengatcuss' most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jengatcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

4. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with goats.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

Yartimxem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking naga.

Yartimxem created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartimxem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yartimxem, it will jump up and down on your head.

Yartimxem's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yartimxem's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yartimxem seven times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Pray only in shadows.

4. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

5. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

Nilnaklap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking zebra.

Nilnaklap created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilnaklap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilnaklap, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nilnaklap's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nilnaklap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Whales are not to be trusted.

5. You must never eat coconuts.