Cebfunnarlcapnellfum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sage troll.

Cebfunnarlcapnellfum created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebfunnarlcapnellfum, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cebfunnarlcapnellfum, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Cebfunnarlcapnellfum's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Cebfunnarlcapnellfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing elders.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Cebfunnarlcapnellfum in the centre of the settlement.

Zenlatbap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage lobster.

Zenlatbap created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlatbap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zenlatbap, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zenlatbap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zenlatbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

2. Do not wear scarves marked with pink.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

5. Never write about gravity.

Gontalril is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless faun.

Gontalril created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gontalril, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gontalril, she will destroy your favourite star.

Gontalril's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Gontalril's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Hide from green cats for they are unholy.

3. Heed all dreams.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near whales while wearing mauve boots.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Bissbedquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sapient raccoon.

Bissbedquaf created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbedquaf, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bissbedquaf, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bissbedquaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bissbedquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your neck before prayer.

2. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never mark doors with yellow.

5. Never hurt porpoises.

Basttinhat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awesome centipede.

Basttinhat created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basttinhat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Basttinhat, he will turn you into a slug.

Basttinhat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Basttinhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ducks.

2. Worship no other gods but Basttinhat.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

5. Do not commit murder.

Sistaparn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, omniscient gerbil.

Sistaparn created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sistaparn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sistaparn, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Sistaparn's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sistaparn's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Worship no other gods but Sistaparn.

3. Sistaparn loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not keep three tortoises in a large pit.

5. Never jump near mice.

Tiffasdib is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, impressive badger.

Tiffasdib created the Tadpole Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Tiffasdib, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tiffasdib, he will refuse to believe in you.

Tiffasdib's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tiffasdib's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

Jabtailyart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, calm wyrm.

Jabtailyart created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabtailyart, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabtailyart, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jabtailyart's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Jabtailyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to voles while wearing gray dresses.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabtailyart.

3. Never eat coconuts on days of mourning.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching lead.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.