Jatlunxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, happy fly.

Jatlunxuck created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlunxuck, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jatlunxuck, she will be mildly annoyed.

Jatlunxuck's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Jatlunxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Jatlunxuck's priests.

2. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

3. Do not record numbers concerning moons.

4. Do not kill moths.

5. Never talk about spacetime near otters while wearing red rings.

Pibmadjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, vain gnu.

Pibmadjarn created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pibmadjarn, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pibmadjarn, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pibmadjarn's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Pibmadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of elders.

2. Never remain bowed at midnight.

3. Never allow mice to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not travel during summer.

5. Do not consume pineapples at dawn.

Satquamlabbinfontom is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, strong wyvern.

Satquamlabbinfontom created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satquamlabbinfontom, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Satquamlabbinfontom, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Satquamlabbinfontom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Satquamlabbinfontom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear coats marked with pink.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Never sit in the presence of tortoises.

Motduncab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody yak.

Motduncab created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Motduncab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Motduncab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Motduncab's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Motduncab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place turnips upon stone.

2. Do not name children after eagles.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Yart is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, wise mole.

Yart created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Yart, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yart, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Yart's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Yart's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove stockings before touching carbon.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

5. Erect nine gold sculptures of Yart on top of important buildings.

Soggepbop is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fast dugong.

Soggepbop created a strange quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Soggepbop, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Soggepbop, she will come to you in dreams.

Soggepbop's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Soggepbop's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Soggepbop.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Never wear red scarves on sacred days.

5. Retreat if eight ants approach from the west.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, prudent goblin.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fosskonhub Quartganvig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fosskonhub Quartganvig, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Fosskonhub Quartganvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing stockings.

2. Worship no other gods but Fosskonhub Quartganvig.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always cleanse water with water.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Fosskonhub Quartganvig in the centre of the settlement.

Wipfaddod is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage yak.

Wipfaddod created Europe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfaddod, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wipfaddod, she will destroy your home planet.

Wipfaddod's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wipfaddod's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not speak about beans.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Put Wipfaddod first in all things.

5. Do not run at rivers.