Miphasmum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered centaur.

Miphasmum created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miphasmum, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Miphasmum, it will send minions to preach to you.

Miphasmum's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Miphasmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Never adorn your head with orange markings.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tranquil cat.

Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop, it will turn you into a snail.

Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nabbapwap Kikvigzanbemcedpingup Gemdutgetkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while tainted.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Do not keep nine sheep in a large pit.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Joptiffom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust giraffe.

Joptiffom created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Joptiffom, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Joptiffom, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Joptiffom's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Joptiffom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist order.

2. Do not take Joptiffom's name in vain.

3. Always wear plain tights during rituals.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never sprint in holy places.

Dudnabbat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful wyrm.

Dudnabbat created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudnabbat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dudnabbat, he will turn you into a duck.

Dudnabbat's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dudnabbat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to eagles while wearing kilts.

2. Do not contemplate optics during the night.

3. Never wear gray trousers on sacred days.

4. Always store aubergines above ground.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Wodlanjonfab is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, irritating toad.

Wodlanjonfab created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wodlanjonfab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Wodlanjonfab, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wodlanjonfab's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Wodlanjonfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Never talk about spacetime near sheep while wearing blue corsets and balancing six nickel spheres on your back.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not study enzymes on holy days.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, overgenerous raven.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Pomtarpjip Bapgebmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never talk about fire.

Xemmis is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, amazing goat.

Xemmis created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemmis, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Xemmis, it will come to you in dreams.

Xemmis' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Xemmis' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemmis.

Quaftafomt is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, intelligent crane.

Quaftafomt created the planet Venus two million years ago.

If you believe in Quaftafomt, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quaftafomt, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quaftafomt's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Quaftafomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during spring.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear green rings.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not take Quaftafomt's name in vain.