Talligrip Tipyargat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless raccoon.

Talligrip Tipyargat created a photon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Talligrip Tipyargat, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Talligrip Tipyargat, it will manifest in front of you.

Talligrip Tipyargat's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Talligrip Tipyargat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never think about optics near dogs while wearing orange shirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your neck.

5. Do not prepare turnips while filled with pride.

Rawquatyok is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful cat.

Rawquatyok created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rawquatyok, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rawquatyok, he will laugh at you.

Rawquatyok's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Rawquatyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Do not keep six ducks in a large pit.

4. Never gather four capybaras in one place.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.

Labhinmet is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty gerbil.

Labhinmet created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Labhinmet, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Labhinmet, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Labhinmet's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Labhinmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention manatees.

2. Never cross forests at midnight.

3. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Honrawpon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, grumpy swan.

Honrawpon created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Honrawpon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Honrawpon, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Honrawpon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Honrawpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

5. Do not run at forests.

Largflynill is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, irritating lion.

Largflynill created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Largflynill, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Largflynill, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Largflynill's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Largflynill's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Largflynill.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Never record secrets.

Flapdodhanfit is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate turtle.

Flapdodhanfit created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapdodhanfit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapdodhanfit, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Flapdodhanfit's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Flapdodhanfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always store limes above ground.

2. Always help foxes.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Flapdodhanfit in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Always obey Flapdodhanfit's priests.

Maddunced is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, unfair lizard.

Maddunced created dark matter two billion years ago.

If you believe in Maddunced, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Maddunced, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Maddunced's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Maddunced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying clay.

4. Never wear magenta boots.

5. Do not dye your hair black.

Afpidquagveenbidgonarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured mink.

Afpidquagveenbidgonarn created the Virgo Supercluster two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Afpidquagveenbidgonarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Afpidquagveenbidgonarn, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Afpidquagveenbidgonarn's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Afpidquagveenbidgonarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near geese while wearing fawn skirts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Feed all hungry sheep.

5. Do not eat spinach.