Flowmumhat is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, self-confident gnu.

Flowmumhat created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowmumhat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flowmumhat, she will curse you with boils.

Flowmumhat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Flowmumhat's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Always wear white.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never point your legs toward the south during prayer.

5. Flowmumhat must be the most important thing in your life.

Zedrullpin is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, humane badger.

Zedrullpin created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zedrullpin, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zedrullpin, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zedrullpin's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Zedrullpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after monkeys.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Never handle nickel while unclean.

Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, staggering cobra.

Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never stain your arms with fawn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wonlitfigflapstragbemdot.

4. Never adorn your feet with blue markings.

5. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

Fliglargcid is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, able aardvark.

Fliglargcid created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fliglargcid, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fliglargcid, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fliglargcid's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Fliglargcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt pigs.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate swans.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

Quarthinmobpib is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional salamander.

Quarthinmobpib created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quarthinmobpib, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quarthinmobpib, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quarthinmobpib's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quarthinmobpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never gather eight geese near walls.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable guinea pig.

Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad, she will think nothing of it.

Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wipbell Getcepcipkip Pibcartad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never allow otters to witness sacred rites.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

Nilvanbog is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, flying centipede.

Nilvanbog created a Higgs boson seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilvanbog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nilvanbog, he will make you grow a tail.

Nilvanbog's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nilvanbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not keep four nematodes in a large pit.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Always wash your legs before prayer.

5. You must love Nilvanbog.

Dunkopcet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic pig.

Dunkopcet created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunkopcet, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunkopcet, she will turn you into a plant.

Dunkopcet's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dunkopcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Never handle platinum while unclean.

3. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Dunkopcet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not chop down trees.