Sakpangun is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, confident weasel.

Sakpangun created the Sunflower Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakpangun, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sakpangun, it will turn you into a tree.

Sakpangun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Sakpangun's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of elders.

2. Sakpangun must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never handle gold while unclean.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Dutgarbed is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, unfair warg.

Dutgarbed created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutgarbed, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dutgarbed, it will turn you into a tree.

Dutgarbed's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dutgarbed's Holy Commandments

1. Put Dutgarbed first in all things.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not prepare figs while filled with joy.

Paswapgumdam is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, proud zebra.

Paswapgumdam created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paswapgumdam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Paswapgumdam, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Paswapgumdam's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Paswapgumdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

5. Always obey Paswapgumdam's priests.

Armhasstip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, flying hedgehog.

Armhasstip created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armhasstip, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Armhasstip, it will send you a sign.

Armhasstip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Armhasstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Feed all hungry frogs.

4. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

5. Worship no other gods but Armhasstip.

Tonkgardob is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, able walrus.

Tonkgardob created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgardob, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkgardob, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Tonkgardob's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tonkgardob's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tonkgardob in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to shrews while wearing yellow shirts.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never look in ponds.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, moody crab.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartditbisswigsafrilrill, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quartditbisswigsafrilrill, she will destroy your home planet.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Quartditbisswigsafrilrill's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying ash.

5. Never mention ants.

Badjentip Sterflagfum is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, staggering toad.

Badjentip Sterflagfum created tapeworms five million years ago.

If you believe in Badjentip Sterflagfum, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Badjentip Sterflagfum, she will turn you into a mouse.

Badjentip Sterflagfum's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Badjentip Sterflagfum's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.

Hashomab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciless monkey.

Hashomab created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hashomab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hashomab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hashomab's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hashomab's Holy Commandments

1. Always store carrots above ground.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Never travel toward the north during winter.

5. Do not sprint at forests.