Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, staggering dove.

Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat grapes on holy days.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always obey Kadligfig Wipjaddandiss Talhivlat's priests.

5. Never think about stars.

Tennuttgess is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, boastful centaur.

Tennuttgess created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tennuttgess, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tennuttgess, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tennuttgess' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tennuttgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not consume rice at dawn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tennuttgess.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

Jadrothad is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, effective jaguar.

Jadrothad created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadrothad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jadrothad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Jadrothad's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jadrothad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never record signs.

3. Never think about dark matter near whales while wearing violet trousers and balancing six titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Fattargjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, irritating raccoon.

Fattargjarn created the planet Jupiter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fattargjarn, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fattargjarn, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Fattargjarn's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Fattargjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Worship no other gods but Fattargjarn.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Tanfenteen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair cat.

Tanfenteen created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Tanfenteen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tanfenteen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tanfenteen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tanfenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tanfenteen's name in vain.

2. Never mix coconuts with oil.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Erect nine gold sculptures of Tanfenteen on top of important buildings.

5. Never speak at midday.

Lannigkon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous hamster.

Lannigkon created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lannigkon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lannigkon, he will turn you into a slug.

Lannigkon's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Lannigkon's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Lannigkon.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Hinlimvid is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, intelligent dingo.

Hinlimvid created the cosmos eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinlimvid, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Hinlimvid, she will have a low opinion of you.

Hinlimvid's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hinlimvid's Holy Commandments

1. Hinlimvid loves snails, so they must be honoured.

2. You must pray to Hinlimvid eight times a day.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

Dingovbegjab is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, emotional dingo.

Dingovbegjab created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dingovbegjab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dingovbegjab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dingovbegjab's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Dingovbegjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.