Flagnar is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful donkey.

Flagnar created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flagnar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flagnar, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flagnar's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Flagnar's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Jabzigflig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, slow raven.

Jabzigflig created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabzigflig, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jabzigflig, he will not care at all.

Jabzigflig's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jabzigflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about nucleic acids.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.

Yarlpogveg is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, generous manatee.

Yarlpogveg created the planet Saturn five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlpogveg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yarlpogveg, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarlpogveg's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yarlpogveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. You must love Yarlpogveg.

4. Never wear mauve boots.

5. Always help horses in need.

Taftaildad is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unthinking crab.

Taftaildad created an atom four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taftaildad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Taftaildad, he will manifest in front of you.

Taftaildad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Taftaildad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed strawberries to birds while wearing violet kilts.

3. Retreat if eight seals approach from the west.

4. Never gather five ducks in one place.

5. Never speak at dusk.

Yarpmapzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, clever bee.

Yarpmapzan created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmapzan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarpmapzan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Yarpmapzan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Yarpmapzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not kill dolphins.

3. Never touch oil while tainted.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.

Bissfot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, contented monkey.

Bissfot created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfot, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bissfot, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bissfot's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bissfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Never wear black ear rings on sacred days.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Ontmotkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, narcissistic otter.

Ontmotkon created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontmotkon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ontmotkon, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Ontmotkon's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Ontmotkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

Pitrillbafingdothonhunab is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciful centipede.

Pitrillbafingdothonhunab created the Virgo Supercluster six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitrillbafingdothonhunab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitrillbafingdothonhunab, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Pitrillbafingdothonhunab's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Pitrillbafingdothonhunab's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

2. Do not place bananas upon stone.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Hide from white hamsters for they are unholy.

5. Do not stand on grass.