Kenominmig is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, grumpy finch.

Kenominmig created oxygen nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenominmig, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kenominmig, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Kenominmig's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Kenominmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Never approach forests carrying wood.

3. Do not name children after swans.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Pray only in firelight.

Gomjopnel is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, proud fish.

Gomjopnel created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomjopnel, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gomjopnel, he will turn you into a mole.

Gomjopnel's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gomjopnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Never wear dresses.

Betceblop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witless clam.

Betceblop created the Milkyway eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betceblop, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Betceblop, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Betceblop's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Betceblop's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always act with patience.

Genyikjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, happy duck.

Genyikjarn created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genyikjarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Genyikjarn, he will torture you forever.

Genyikjarn's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Genyikjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never paint your face violet.

3. Never wear purple corsets on sacred days.

4. Retreat if nine sheep approach from the west.

5. Never chant while facing south.

Cussratquam Yarpgombum is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, resourceful pigeon.

Cussratquam Yarpgombum created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cussratquam Yarpgombum, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cussratquam Yarpgombum, she will turn you into a rat.

Cussratquam Yarpgombum's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cussratquam Yarpgombum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Never feed peas to voles while wearing yellow trousers.

3. Never sit in the presence of whales.

4. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

5. Never chant while facing south.

Jonzenfab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate beaver.

Jonzenfab created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonzenfab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jonzenfab, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jonzenfab's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jonzenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never wear yellow scarves.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Bapbagxen is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unselfish donkey.

Bapbagxen created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapbagxen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bapbagxen, she will come to you in dreams.

Bapbagxen's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bapbagxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never speak at midday.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Zigrillmip is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, impressive mouse.

Zigrillmip created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigrillmip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zigrillmip, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zigrillmip's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zigrillmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

4. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.