Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking jaguar.

Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot, she will be very sad.

Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Jamgovcam Habcumfarrot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always act with humility.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never speak aloud of signs.

Abarntap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered walrus.

Abarntap created the Sunflower Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Abarntap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Abarntap, it will destroy your home solar system.

Abarntap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Abarntap's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Put Abarntap first in all things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never look in ponds.

Rawflamyam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, weak salamander.

Rawflamyam created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rawflamyam, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rawflamyam, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Rawflamyam's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Rawflamyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix bananas with blood.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Do not take Rawflamyam's name in vain.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

Foblanbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, effective human.

Foblanbiss created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Foblanbiss, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Foblanbiss, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Foblanbiss' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Foblanbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near badgers while wearing purple dresses.

2. Never gather eight monkeys in one place.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. You must love Foblanbiss.

5. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

Venpontap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong jackal.

Venpontap created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Venpontap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Venpontap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Venpontap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Venpontap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Venpontap loves sheep, so they must be respected.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Wipgutfeb is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish shark.

Wipgutfeb created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipgutfeb, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wipgutfeb, she will turn you into a sheep.

Wipgutfeb's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Wipgutfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Never wear brown stockings.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Narltippom is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent scorpion.

Narltippom created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narltippom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Narltippom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Narltippom's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Narltippom's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Never mention shrews.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never eat gooseberries.

Pidgamlam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, grumpy butterfly.

Pidgamlam created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidgamlam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pidgamlam, she will destroy your home solar system.

Pidgamlam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Pidgamlam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not prepare grapes while wearing scarves.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Pidgamlam.

5. Always remove shorts before touching nickel.