Hugcinfem is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate mongoose.

Hugcinfem created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Hugcinfem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hugcinfem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Hugcinfem's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Hugcinfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

2. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

3. Always help sick mites.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Always act with patience when addressing children.

Nilmutwee is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, prudent grasshopper.

Nilmutwee created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nilmutwee, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nilmutwee, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nilmutwee's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nilmutwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with cyan markings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never prepare grapes during autumn.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never feed wheat to rats while wearing shoes.

Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil mink.

Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gepkanwitzedsandomtsid in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never gather nine ants in one place.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

5. Do not cook food in pots.

Tagbodkop is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain pigeon.

Tagbodkop created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagbodkop, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tagbodkop, it will have a low opinion of you.

Tagbodkop's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tagbodkop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tagbodkop nine times a day.

2. Never think about dark energy near horses while wearing violet shorts and balancing eight carbon spheres on your back.

3. Never feed lemons to snakes while wearing stockings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

Rillmumbast is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witty pigeon.

Rillmumbast created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rillmumbast, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rillmumbast, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Rillmumbast's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Rillmumbast's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Rillmumbast's priests.

2. Do not sing at mountains.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing violet rings and balancing eight iron spheres on your feet.

5. Learn six new languages a year.

Sadbapjan Popabfem is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking giraffe.

Sadbapjan Popabfem created tapeworms three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadbapjan Popabfem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sadbapjan Popabfem, he will be very sad.

Sadbapjan Popabfem's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Sadbapjan Popabfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with anger.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away if nine goats approach from the west.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Never jump near rats.

Minmobyatt is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, cheerful aardvark.

Minmobyatt created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minmobyatt, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Minmobyatt, she will turn you into a dog.

Minmobyatt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Minmobyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Always share figs with strangers, but never with aardvarks.

2. Always count to four before sleeping.

3. Shun those given to vanity.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.

Fonfidmip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent hare.

Fonfidmip created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonfidmip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fonfidmip, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fonfidmip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fonfidmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always remove rings before touching silver.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Do not prepare carrots while filled with envy.

5. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.