Yatfutliplist is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, self-assured lobster.

Yatfutliplist created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatfutliplist, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Yatfutliplist, he will strike you with lightening.

Yatfutliplist's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yatfutliplist's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in holy places.

2. Do not step barefoot upon turquoise earth.

3. Do not sit at mountains.

4. Never run in the presence of monkeys.

5. Hide from black squirrels for they are unholy.

Barnzagfom is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody manatee.

Barnzagfom created the Cigar Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnzagfom, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Barnzagfom, it will torture you forever.

Barnzagfom's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Barnzagfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never wear yellow shirts.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never feed bananas to frogs while wearing hats.

Logortsak is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, thoughtless owl.

Logortsak created a Higgs boson two years ago.

If you believe in Logortsak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Logortsak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Logortsak's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Logortsak's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

2. Do not record numbers concerning stars.

3. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

4. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Logortsak.

Camgesswan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, almighty alligator.

Camgesswan created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Camgesswan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Camgesswan, it will think nothing of it.

Camgesswan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Camgesswan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never feed garlic to hamsters while wearing shoes.

3. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat gooseberries.

Yattzedlun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental tortoise.

Yattzedlun created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattzedlun, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yattzedlun, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yattzedlun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yattzedlun's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Never carve symbols of black holes into wood.

3. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing corsets.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.

Kenstigsas is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, competent goblin.

Kenstigsas created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenstigsas, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kenstigsas, it will strike you with lightening.

Kenstigsas' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kenstigsas' Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never feed corn to tortoises while wearing boots.

3. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

4. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with fear.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.

Ditrigkab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish hamster.

Ditrigkab created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Ditrigkab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditrigkab, he will ignore you.

Ditrigkab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Ditrigkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Ditrigkab in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

4. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Never jump in the presence of badgers.

Viltettitab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, tiresome wombat.

Viltettitab created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Viltettitab, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Viltettitab, she will be very sad.

Viltettitab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Viltettitab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Viltettitab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.

3. Never adorn your feet with indigo markings.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.