Gamstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fussy octopus.

Gamstrag created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gamstrag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gamstrag, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gamstrag's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gamstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry horses.

2. Do not sprint at crossroads.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

Nullcipspag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, omnipotent yak.

Nullcipspag created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullcipspag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nullcipspag, it will torture you forever.

Nullcipspag's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nullcipspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

2. Never wear tights.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never sing in the presence of aardvarks.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Dimdabpog is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, tranquil otter.

Dimdabpog created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dimdabpog, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dimdabpog, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Dimdabpog's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dimdabpog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dimdabpog.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never wear cyan kilts on sacred days.

Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, quiet unicorn.

Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut created the Sunflower Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut, it will throw large rocks at you.

Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ablipquam Vadflagrawfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of elders.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

Nuttzigfat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced hamster.

Nuttzigfat created light two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttzigfat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttzigfat, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nuttzigfat's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nuttzigfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Do not gather at doors at midday.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Never chant while facing west.

Lapshavsigkoparmcintag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, selfish chicken.

Lapshavsigkoparmcintag created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Lapshavsigkoparmcintag, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lapshavsigkoparmcintag, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Lapshavsigkoparmcintag's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lapshavsigkoparmcintag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

2. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

3. Never feed wheat to eagles while wearing hats.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

Negflag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, capable crocodile.

Negflag created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Negflag, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Negflag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Negflag's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Negflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your neck.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Negflag.

4. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Dumcepfon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited aardvark.

Dumcepfon created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcepfon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumcepfon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dumcepfon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dumcepfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never handle copper while unclean.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.