Gofhin is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic wyrm.

Gofhin created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofhin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gofhin, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gofhin's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gofhin's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at midday.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Never whisper while facing south.

5. Never record numbers.

Carfobstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, vain lobster.

Carfobstaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carfobstaf, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Carfobstaf, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Carfobstaf's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Carfobstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of ants.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

4. Never think about special relativity near aardvarks while wearing brown rings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your feet.

5. Respect your elders.

Tamcebyat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest slug.

Tamcebyat created a quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamcebyat, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tamcebyat, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tamcebyat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Tamcebyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Flishivrow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, moody human.

Flishivrow created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Flishivrow, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flishivrow, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flishivrow's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Flishivrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flishivrow.

4. Never gather four dolphins in one place.

5. Never gather six foxes near towers.

Bogtarfas is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless gorilla.

Bogtarfas created the Large Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtarfas, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bogtarfas, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bogtarfas' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bogtarfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Retreat if four voles approach from the east.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Cebrigjapmig Xenmat is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humane chicken.

Cebrigjapmig Xenmat created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebrigjapmig Xenmat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cebrigjapmig Xenmat, it will turn you into a plant.

Cebrigjapmig Xenmat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cebrigjapmig Xenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not consume lentils at dawn.

3. Always help seals in need.

4. Run away if three dogs approach from the north.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.

Renappog is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, astonishing lobster.

Renappog created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Renappog, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Renappog, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Renappog's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Renappog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three goats approach from the east.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

4. You must love Renappog.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Somyatt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous hamster.

Somyatt created the Tadpole Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somyatt, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Somyatt, he will remove you from existence.

Somyatt's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Somyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

4. Do not prepare onions while filled with envy.

5. Never skip in holy places.