Vabzanteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, blissful otter.

Vabzanteen created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Vabzanteen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vabzanteen, it will turn you into a puffin.

Vabzanteen's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vabzanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

Damdossfitbass is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, resourceful fox.

Damdossfitbass created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Damdossfitbass, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Damdossfitbass, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Damdossfitbass' most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Damdossfitbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not keep seven geese in a large pit.

4. Do not kill dogs.

5. Respect your elders.

Tarragrag Gofquamfot is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain donkey.

Tarragrag Gofquamfot created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarragrag Gofquamfot, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tarragrag Gofquamfot, it will not care at all.

Tarragrag Gofquamfot's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Tarragrag Gofquamfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near squirrels while wearing white shirts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your neck.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never paint your feet turquoise.

Daghadged is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-confident pig.

Daghadged created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daghadged, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Daghadged, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Daghadged's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Daghadged's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about enzymes.

3. Run away if six porpoises approach from the north.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Do not eat nuts.

Veenflisbet is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, almighty lizard.

Veenflisbet created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Veenflisbet, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Veenflisbet, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Veenflisbet's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Veenflisbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing magenta trousers and balancing eight platinum spheres on your chest.

3. Worship no other gods but Veenflisbet.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Sakgoflin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy armadillo.

Sakgoflin created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Sakgoflin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sakgoflin, he will be very unhappy.

Sakgoflin's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Sakgoflin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large tin sculpture of Sakgoflin on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

Dotpinbest is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, temperamental bird.

Dotpinbest created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotpinbest, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dotpinbest, it will turn you into a plant.

Dotpinbest's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dotpinbest's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

4. You must love Dotpinbest.

5. Never go into pink rooms.

Tonkfutjat is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental alligator.

Tonkfutjat created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfutjat, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonkfutjat, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Tonkfutjat's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tonkfutjat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Never leap near aardvarks.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.