Quimwotgemnarvid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty monkey.

Quimwotgemnarvid created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Quimwotgemnarvid, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quimwotgemnarvid, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quimwotgemnarvid's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Quimwotgemnarvid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never stain your face with fawn.

3. Retreat if six horses approach from the east.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Do not prepare cherries while filled with joy.

Ladstragkonlist is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, grumpy slug.

Ladstragkonlist created the world four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladstragkonlist, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ladstragkonlist, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Ladstragkonlist's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Ladstragkonlist's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. You must never eat lentils.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Never mark doors with purple.

5. Ladstragkonlist must be the most important thing in your life.

Ranyokvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, self-confident finch.

Ranyokvonk created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranyokvonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranyokvonk, it will turn you into a worm.

Ranyokvonk's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Ranyokvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never feed beans to mites while wearing green hats.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Binnelquarthom is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonest whale.

Binnelquarthom created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Binnelquarthom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Binnelquarthom, she will turn you into a mouse.

Binnelquarthom's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Binnelquarthom's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare peanuts during summer.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never gather five snails near bridges.

5. Always act with humility.

Rentargjapbankam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying alligator.

Rentargjapbankam created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rentargjapbankam, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Rentargjapbankam, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Rentargjapbankam's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Rentargjapbankam's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine nematodes in one place.

2. Rentargjapbankam loves cats, so they must be respected.

3. Never stain your head with magenta.

4. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

5. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, humane salamander.

Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Kadgabtafflowfedlabbabbat's priests.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Never touch water while clean.

4. Do not prepare beans while filled with joy.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.

Quamflapbid is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane wren.

Quamflapbid created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamflapbid, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quamflapbid, she will turn you into a rock.

Quamflapbid's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Quamflapbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after rats.

2. Quamflapbid must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Quamflapbid on top of all buildings.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

Hapgetloop is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental otter.

Hapgetloop created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgetloop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hapgetloop, he will ignore you.

Hapgetloop's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hapgetloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Hide from green tapirs for they are unholy.

4. Always remove shorts before entering holy places.

5. Pray only in shadows.