Tarptonkcan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, blissful grasshopper.

Tarptonkcan created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarptonkcan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tarptonkcan, she will come to you in dreams.

Tarptonkcan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Tarptonkcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near shrews while wearing red boots.

2. Never think about spacetime near ants while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine carbon spheres on your back.

3. Hide from mauve doves for they are unholy.

4. Never wear white tights.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Bogtapdit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, effective eagle.

Bogtapdit created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogtapdit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bogtapdit, she will turn you into a snail.

Bogtapdit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bogtapdit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never wear magenta rings on sacred days.

3. Do not contemplate dark matter during the night.

4. Do not wear trousers marked with green.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Safsaddag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring monkey.

Safsaddag created humankind five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safsaddag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Safsaddag, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Safsaddag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Safsaddag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peanuts.

2. You must pray to Safsaddag six times a day.

3. Never mark doors with magenta.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not shave your arms.

Mobpigab is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, moody capybara.

Mobpigab created energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Mobpigab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mobpigab, it will remove you from existence.

Mobpigab's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Mobpigab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Mobpigab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always help sick moths.

5. Always obey Mobpigab's priests.

Bodominwot is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tiresome dragon.

Bodominwot created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodominwot, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bodominwot, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bodominwot's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bodominwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

2. Always store parsnips above ground.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. You must never eat cherries.

Yaktal is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, almighty mole.

Yaktal created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaktal, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yaktal, it will think nothing of it.

Yaktal's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Yaktal's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, emotional rat.

Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren, he will not care at all.

Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gemdavditsigbidsakfemyim Negyimren's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your hands brown.

Tafzedbad is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, smart parrot.

Tafzedbad created the Tadpole Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafzedbad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tafzedbad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tafzedbad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tafzedbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not place cherries upon stone.