Nurtmutgon is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable deer.

Nurtmutgon created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nurtmutgon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nurtmutgon, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nurtmutgon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Nurtmutgon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Never sit near foxes.

3. Never handle lead while unclean.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to grasshopers while wearing purple shoes.

5. Always take life seriously.

Nadnurraksislagmatwip is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, dishonourable mole.

Nadnurraksislagmatwip created the Milkyway two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadnurraksislagmatwip, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nadnurraksislagmatwip, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nadnurraksislagmatwip's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nadnurraksislagmatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Never talk about grasshopers.

Sandarptaf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, awesome hydra.

Sandarptaf created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Sandarptaf, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandarptaf, it will turn you into a snail.

Sandarptaf's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Sandarptaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Do not resist fate.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Omtflagfonvab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating centaur.

Omtflagfonvab created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtflagfonvab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Omtflagfonvab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Omtflagfonvab's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Omtflagfonvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never stain your chest with violet.

3. Do not fashion tools from silver.

4. Never laugh in the presence of cats.

5. Do not take Omtflagfonvab's name in vain.

Ontkamgup is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, staggering warg.

Ontkamgup created the Sunflower Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontkamgup, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ontkamgup, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Ontkamgup's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Ontkamgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away from orange eagles, for they are unholy.

5. Fast once a month.

Zednelnart is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic human.

Zednelnart created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zednelnart, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zednelnart, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zednelnart's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zednelnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at dawn.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Never mix garlic with water.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

Parktailripgof is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, clever hydra.

Parktailripgof created the solar system seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Parktailripgof, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Parktailripgof, it will ignore you.

Parktailripgof's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Parktailripgof's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle silver while unclean.

2. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never chant in holy places.

Dancabnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud unicorn.

Dancabnurl created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Dancabnurl, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dancabnurl, she will laugh at you.

Dancabnurl's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dancabnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after capybaras.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always help otters in need.

5. Never skip in the presence of gulls.