Dutnartrigtim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome fox.

Dutnartrigtim created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutnartrigtim, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Dutnartrigtim, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dutnartrigtim's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dutnartrigtim's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Pray only in moonlight.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dutnartrigtim.

4. Never leap in summer.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Fothapmet is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, temperamental turtle.

Fothapmet created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fothapmet, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fothapmet, it will turn you into a goat.

Fothapmet's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fothapmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

2. Always act with purity when addressing strangers.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Never point your hands toward the south during prayer.

Dapcutcit is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, conceited cow.

Dapcutcit created the planet Mars eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapcutcit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dapcutcit, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dapcutcit's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dapcutcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from ash.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

3. Do not study chromosomes on holy days.

4. Do not take Dapcutcit's name in vain.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dapcutcit.

Wodcabgupdan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, kind grasshopper.

Wodcabgupdan created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodcabgupdan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wodcabgupdan, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wodcabgupdan's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Wodcabgupdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare carrots while wearing coats.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never think about spacetime near ants while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing three zinc spheres on your back.

Cusshatlad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous jaguar.

Cusshatlad created the Sombrero Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cusshatlad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cusshatlad, he will laugh at you.

Cusshatlad's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cusshatlad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

Bugwigteen is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, boastful wren.

Bugwigteen created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugwigteen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bugwigteen, she will think nothing of it.

Bugwigteen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bugwigteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Do not travel during autumn.

Pagquafgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, idiotic jaguar.

Pagquafgeb created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagquafgeb, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pagquafgeb, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Pagquafgeb's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Pagquafgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

2. Always store turnips above ground.

3. Never remain kneeling at midday.

4. Do not prepare lemons while filled with joy.

5. Never feed parsnips to frogs while wearing kilts.

Catkomster is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, prudent squirrel.

Catkomster created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catkomster, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Catkomster, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Catkomster's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Catkomster's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

2. Do not prepare strawberries while wearing coats.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Catkomster loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

5. Do not consume limes at dawn.