Garbiftit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, staggering armadillo.

Garbiftit created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garbiftit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garbiftit, he will not care.

Garbiftit's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Garbiftit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Do not eat corn.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near eagles while wearing indigo stockings and balancing seven gold spheres on your arms.

Madgebwap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent wyrm.

Madgebwap created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madgebwap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Madgebwap, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Madgebwap's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Madgebwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from bone.

2. Hide if seven mice approach from the west.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Always count to nine before sleeping.

Sidponlid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, capable slug.

Sidponlid created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidponlid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sidponlid, he will have a low opinion of you.

Sidponlid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Sidponlid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Sidponlid on top of all buildings.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Do not consume melons at dawn.

5. Do not prepare peas while filled with joy.

Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable dog.

Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod, he will turn you into a slug.

Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vegrenfaglarp Bustiggod first in all things.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Always wash your face before prayer.

4. Never gather nine birds near doors.

5. Do not shave your hands.

Bassrighub is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, proud wyrm.

Bassrighub created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassrighub, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bassrighub, she will be very unhappy.

Bassrighub's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bassrighub's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think ill of sick snakes.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, weak finch.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to tapirs while wearing stockings.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Hide if six whales approach from the east.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.

Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful shrew.

Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Habkipvag Hotpaghas Bosstargyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Do not keep six frogs in a large pit.

3. Never talk about porpoises.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable scorpion.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Always treat turtles with great respect.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.