Dapquillham is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil slug.

Dapquillham created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dapquillham, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dapquillham, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dapquillham's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dapquillham's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to eight before sleeping.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never pray while filled with anger.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

Higarpbig is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud tortoise.

Higarpbig created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higarpbig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Higarpbig, it will turn you into a mole.

Higarpbig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Higarpbig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never gather seven birds near walls.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing ear rings.

5. Put Higarpbig first in all things.

Bonkgarmighat is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate squid.

Bonkgarmighat created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkgarmighat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bonkgarmighat, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bonkgarmighat's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bonkgarmighat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine goats approach from the north.

2. Never adorn your chest with green markings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

Manflyog is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, cheerful crow.

Manflyog created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Manflyog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Manflyog, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Manflyog's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Manflyog's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never touch water while unclean.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never speak aloud of names.

Rillmanpan is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever wasp.

Rillmanpan created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Rillmanpan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Rillmanpan, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Rillmanpan's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Rillmanpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch blood while clean.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.

Monarmhadlag is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless mongoose.

Monarmhadlag created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Monarmhadlag, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monarmhadlag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Monarmhadlag's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Monarmhadlag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Remain kneeling during prayer.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always wash your feet before prayer.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.

Hoghentip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, smart hummingbird.

Hoghentip created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoghentip, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hoghentip, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Hoghentip's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hoghentip's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed lots of strawberries to seals while wearing green rings.

4. Never gather eight hamsters near bridges.

5. Never think about optics near geese while wearing magenta hats and balancing nine zinc spheres on your arms.

Rawvagrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented horse.

Rawvagrutt created the Milkyway twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rawvagrutt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rawvagrutt, she will turn you into a mouse.

Rawvagrutt's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Rawvagrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.