Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, deceitful tapir.

Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk, it will try to impress you with trees.

Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Basswodmiddad Cumfattonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never run in winter.

Mitbellmon is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, capable raven.

Mitbellmon created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitbellmon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mitbellmon, she will think nothing of it.

Mitbellmon's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Mitbellmon's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

3. Never speak of order in the presence of children.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.

Yokspagfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, clever bee.

Yokspagfeb created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokspagfeb, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yokspagfeb, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yokspagfeb's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yokspagfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if six grasshopers approach from the south.

3. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

4. Put Yokspagfeb first in all things.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Gidvincusswab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, deceitful snail.

Gidvincusswab created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Gidvincusswab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gidvincusswab, it will send you a sign.

Gidvincusswab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gidvincusswab's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing children.

2. Do not fashion tools from carbon.

3. Frogs are not to be trusted.

4. Always wear plain rings during rituals.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Fobfossbod is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, temperamental lobster.

Fobfossbod created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobfossbod, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fobfossbod, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Fobfossbod's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fobfossbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at dawn.

2. Always help manatees.

3. Run away from indigo shrews, for they are unholy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.

Vigdabflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unsympathetic goat.

Vigdabflan created a top quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigdabflan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vigdabflan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vigdabflan's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vigdabflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

2. Put Vigdabflan first in all things.

3. Do not prepare bread while wearing shorts.

4. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

5. Never feed cherries to tortoises while wearing turquoise ear rings.

Kopmobbigbonmot is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, moody hare.

Kopmobbigbonmot created the Sol system two years ago.

If you believe in Kopmobbigbonmot, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kopmobbigbonmot, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kopmobbigbonmot's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kopmobbigbonmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs blue.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never think about dark matter near horses while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing five iron spheres on your chest.

4. Do not wear tights marked with mauve.

5. Never write about special relativity.

Rancibgab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, moody beaver.

Rancibgab created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rancibgab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rancibgab, he will laugh at you.

Rancibgab's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Rancibgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with shrews.

2. Do not consume bananas at dawn.

3. Never feed corn to ducks while wearing turquoise jumpers.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never mark doors with red.