Artweevin Jippibpin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, effective cow.

Artweevin Jippibpin created a Higgs boson nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artweevin Jippibpin, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Artweevin Jippibpin, it will turn you into a duck.

Artweevin Jippibpin's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Artweevin Jippibpin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never adorn your face with orange markings.

4. Do not wear kilts marked with yellow.

5. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

Zigyogtim is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, stupid fish.

Zigyogtim created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigyogtim, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Zigyogtim, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zigyogtim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Zigyogtim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not wear shoes marked with pink.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never skip in holy places.

Wipcebmip is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, annoying pig.

Wipcebmip created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipcebmip, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wipcebmip, it will jump up and down on your head.

Wipcebmip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Wipcebmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to pigs while wearing fawn dresses.

2. Always obey Wipcebmip's priests.

3. Never allow gulls to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not wear platinum on your body.

Dogsangun is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, almighty snake.

Dogsangun created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Dogsangun, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dogsangun, she will torture you forever.

Dogsangun's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dogsangun's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never fashion tools from stone.

3. Erect eight iron sculptures of Dogsangun on top of important buildings.

4. Shun those given to greed.

5. Always count to four before sleeping.

Vintinloopweg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, overgenerous hyena.

Vintinloopweg created the planet Mars five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vintinloopweg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vintinloopweg, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Vintinloopweg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Vintinloopweg's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

5. Never feed peanuts to bats while wearing corsets.

Fun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, charitable fairy.

Fun created a Higgs boson six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fun, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Fun's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fun's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix spinach with blood.

2. Never approach rivers carrying ash.

3. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

4. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Dangatcum is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring cow.

Dangatcum created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dangatcum, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Dangatcum, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dangatcum's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dangatcum's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never touch ash while blessed.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Worship no other gods but Dangatcum.

5. Erect six tin sculptures of Dangatcum on top of important buildings.

Kanveenpark is a god.

She takes the form of a large, passionate goat.

Kanveenpark created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanveenpark, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kanveenpark, she will think nothing of it.

Kanveenpark's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Kanveenpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Never wear orange ear rings.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. Never point your feet toward the east during prayer.

5. Worship no other gods but Kanveenpark.