Zogdograt is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, competent fish.

Zogdograt created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogdograt, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zogdograt, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zogdograt's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Zogdograt's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat peanuts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always look after injured mites.

Migbethog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, all-knowing sheep.

Migbethog created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Migbethog, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Migbethog, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Migbethog's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Migbethog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

3. Never feed melons to badgers while wearing rings.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never allow dolphins to sleep beneath your roof.

Sidcenrow is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, duplicitous porpoise.

Sidcenrow created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sidcenrow, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sidcenrow, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sidcenrow's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sidcenrow's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sidcenrow.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Sidcenrow must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never fashion tools from clay.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Wotartrot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy dragonfly.

Wotartrot created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Wotartrot, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wotartrot, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wotartrot's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Wotartrot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midday.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near ducks while wearing mauve rings and balancing nine iron spheres on your neck.

5. Never think ill of sick voles.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless dragonfly.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat, he will destroy your favourite star.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fetkomsugjancamnatnak Carcubteenquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

5. Never allow voles to sleep beneath your roof.

Guptargess is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful fish.

Guptargess created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guptargess, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Guptargess, he will come to you in dreams.

Guptargess' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Guptargess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, passionate porpoise.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Dinfosstalflig Vogcemjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not gather at doors at midnight.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

Ortgofboss is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, strong crocodile.

Ortgofboss created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortgofboss, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ortgofboss, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ortgofboss' most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Ortgofboss' Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. Do not jump at crossroads.

3. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

4. Never discuss the inheritance of acquired characteristics in public assemblies.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.