Milmidtif is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, charitable walrus.

Milmidtif created humankind three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milmidtif, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Milmidtif, it will turn you into a dog.

Milmidtif's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Milmidtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

5. Never sit in the presence of sheep.

Jipsugnig is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent human.

Jipsugnig created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jipsugnig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jipsugnig, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jipsugnig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Jipsugnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow bats to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never talk about spacetime near otters while wearing yellow kilts and balancing six carbon spheres on your back.

3. Do not chant in public.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

Konortveg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, temperamental dragonfly.

Konortveg created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konortveg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Konortveg, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Konortveg's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Konortveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

2. Never feed tomatoes to tapirs while wearing scarves.

3. Never feed garlic to aardvarks while wearing yellow coats.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Never go into pink rooms.

Vonksafflat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, wise dingo.

Vonksafflat created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonksafflat, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vonksafflat, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vonksafflat's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vonksafflat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonksafflat.

2. Run away if eight dogs approach from the west.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never mention grasshopers.

Tin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able swan.

Tin created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tin, he will turn you into a slug.

Tin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tin's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not laugh at forests.

Nurtruljen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, blissful camel.

Nurtruljen created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtruljen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtruljen, it will turn you into a rock.

Nurtruljen's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nurtruljen's Holy Commandments

1. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Fobbom is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, all-powerful seal.

Fobbom created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobbom, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fobbom, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fobbom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fobbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear coats.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never go into cyan rooms.

Himdot is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, pitiless camel.

Himdot created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Himdot, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Himdot, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Himdot's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Himdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Never mention dogs.