Mifmanmut is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, stupid mole.

Mifmanmut created tapeworms nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mifmanmut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mifmanmut, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Mifmanmut's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Mifmanmut's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never touch water while unclean.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Do not prepare wheat while filled with anger.

5. Pray only in moonlight.

Fasfatmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, omnipotent tapir.

Fasfatmeg created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasfatmeg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fasfatmeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Fasfatmeg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Fasfatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Do not prepare bread while filled with fear.

Madvabsand Stersidyok is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud fox.

Madvabsand Stersidyok created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madvabsand Stersidyok, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Madvabsand Stersidyok, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Madvabsand Stersidyok's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Madvabsand Stersidyok's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not fashion tools from copper.

4. Never remain bowed at midnight.

5. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.

Hinfarkanwee is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, weak centipede.

Hinfarkanwee created Europe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hinfarkanwee, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hinfarkanwee, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hinfarkanwee's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hinfarkanwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near manatees while wearing indigo skirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your face.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

Tigrillarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, flying ant.

Tigrillarp created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tigrillarp, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tigrillarp, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tigrillarp's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tigrillarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tigrillarp on top of all buildings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

Gubmabhit is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid squid.

Gubmabhit created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubmabhit, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gubmabhit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gubmabhit's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gubmabhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Never touch oil while blessed.

3. Never allow eagles to witness sacred rites.

4. You must never eat coconuts.

5. Never mark doors with indigo.

Cemfidbid is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, contented seal.

Cemfidbid created the Andromeda Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemfidbid, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cemfidbid, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cemfidbid's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cemfidbid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair red.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never paint your legs white.

5. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

Damrak is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous horse.

Damrak created a strange quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Damrak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Damrak, she will turn you into a snail.

Damrak's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Damrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach mountains carrying wood.

2. Never touch ash while blessed.

3. Damrak loves snails, so they must be respected.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Shun those given to sloth.