Farsitbid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic hyena.

Farsitbid created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farsitbid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farsitbid, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Farsitbid's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Farsitbid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always look after injured shrews.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never point your neck toward the east during prayer.

5. Retreat if eight porpoises approach from the north.

Popvigbug is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, confident porpoise.

Popvigbug created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Popvigbug, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Popvigbug, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Popvigbug's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Popvigbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bananas while wearing coats.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

Flislabortbosslit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, egotistical wyvern.

Flislabortbosslit created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flislabortbosslit, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flislabortbosslit, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flislabortbosslit's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Flislabortbosslit's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

3. Never point your head toward the south during prayer.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, self-assured mink.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Do not record names concerning moons.

4. Jamflapnib Veenduntofnut loves otters, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed lots of corn to mites while wearing orange scarves.

Gomnelced Jopdapzim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, resourceful warg.

Gomnelced Jopdapzim created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gomnelced Jopdapzim, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gomnelced Jopdapzim, she will destroy your home planet.

Gomnelced Jopdapzim's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gomnelced Jopdapzim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain boots during rituals.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Always act with patience when addressing elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

Homlooplab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody hamster.

Homlooplab created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homlooplab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Homlooplab, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Homlooplab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Homlooplab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hop in the presence of elders.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Homlooplab loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

Nuttzimbug is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful dolphin.

Nuttzimbug created an electron two years ago.

If you believe in Nuttzimbug, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Nuttzimbug, it will destroy your home solar system.

Nuttzimbug's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nuttzimbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not contemplate solid mechanics during the night.

3. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

4. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

5. Never talk about fire.

Kadfatgud is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless hippopotamus.

Kadfatgud created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kadfatgud, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadfatgud, she will send minions to preach to you.

Kadfatgud's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Kadfatgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Heed all visions.