Yarpcubgof is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, strong hyena.

Yarpcubgof created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcubgof, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarpcubgof, it will be mildly annoyed.

Yarpcubgof's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Yarpcubgof's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six foxes approach from the east.

2. Never mark doors with violet.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Yarpcubgof loves geese, so they must be honoured.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Nilltig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, loving naga.

Nilltig created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilltig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nilltig, he will manifest in front of you.

Nilltig's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nilltig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Nilltig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never hurt otters.

3. Do not prepare bread while filled with joy.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.

Komwatpang is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable salamander.

Komwatpang created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Komwatpang, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Komwatpang, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Komwatpang's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Komwatpang's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all visions.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Shun those given to cruelty.

Stanbugcuss Rullegjop is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable bear.

Stanbugcuss Rullegjop created matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Stanbugcuss Rullegjop, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Stanbugcuss Rullegjop, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stanbugcuss Rullegjop's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Stanbugcuss Rullegjop's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Stanbugcuss Rullegjop must be the most important thing in your life.

Looprutcam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, staggering goblin.

Looprutcam created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Looprutcam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Looprutcam, he will remove you from existence.

Looprutcam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Looprutcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill mites.

2. Erect three copper sculptures of Looprutcam on top of important buildings.

3. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Looprutcam in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if five grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate yak.

Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad, it will turn you into a plant.

Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zenspagstan Hoggadnanpig Fendidjad.

3. Never mix wheat with oil.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, awe-inspiring shrew.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab, it will destroy your favourite star.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Damwitcum Jarngepdabkabhab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never whisper while facing west.

5. Never play with disobedient children.

Bastrandotcar is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful tortoise.

Bastrandotcar created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastrandotcar, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bastrandotcar, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bastrandotcar's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bastrandotcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near birds while wearing indigo shoes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with black.

5. Heed all signs.