Yatfudrow is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humorless otter.

Yatfudrow created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatfudrow, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yatfudrow, it will destroy your home planet.

Yatfudrow's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Yatfudrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide from orange monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Never touch water while clean.

5. Do not travel during winter.

Gep is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental clam.

Gep created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gep, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gep, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gep's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tights marked with yellow.

2. Worship no other gods but Gep.

3. Never gather seven seals near bridges.

4. Never prepare peas during winter.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

Wodlankab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, duplicitous beaver.

Wodlankab created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Wodlankab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wodlankab, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Wodlankab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Wodlankab's Holy Commandments

1. Never record signs.

2. Wodlankab loves horses, so they must be respected.

3. Do not prepare oranges while filled with joy.

4. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Guncabcin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional turtle.

Guncabcin created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncabcin, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Guncabcin, she will turn you into a rat.

Guncabcin's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Guncabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to frogs while wearing orange shoes.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never talk about chromosomes.

Latlamhat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, proud weasel.

Latlamhat created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Latlamhat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Latlamhat, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Latlamhat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Latlamhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always remove stockings before entering holy places.

5. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

Ligjigwap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciless horse.

Ligjigwap created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ligjigwap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ligjigwap, it will turn you into a rock.

Ligjigwap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ligjigwap's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ligjigwap first in all things.

2. Never leap in the presence of elders.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

5. Never eat green fruit.

Farndibhog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, benevolent cobra.

Farndibhog created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farndibhog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Farndibhog, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Farndibhog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Farndibhog's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow doves, for they are unholy.

2. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

3. Retreat if seven horses approach from the east.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near tortoises while wearing orange hats and balancing four tin spheres on your arms.

5. Erect six iron sculptures of Farndibhog on top of important buildings.

Zenfossfenxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, intelligent dragon.

Zenfossfenxuck created the Andromeda Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenfossfenxuck, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Zenfossfenxuck, he will torture you forever.

Zenfossfenxuck's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zenfossfenxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

2. Never wear gray hats on sacred days.

3. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

4. Never remain prostrate at midnight.

5. Shun those given to vanity.