Dudbusapp is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish duck.

Dudbusapp created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dudbusapp, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dudbusapp, it will turn you into a rat.

Dudbusapp's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dudbusapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six dogs in a large pit.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about galaxies.

Targ is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, able narwhal.

Targ created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Targ, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Targ, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Targ's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Targ's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat bananas.

2. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never wear yellow tights on sacred days.

Bidnanvagkad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, resourceful walrus.

Bidnanvagkad created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidnanvagkad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bidnanvagkad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bidnanvagkad's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Bidnanvagkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

2. Never mention birds.

3. You must pray to Bidnanvagkad eight times a day.

4. Always count to nine before sleeping.

5. Never run in the presence of seals.

Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful warg.

Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bossxuckgodjatluntitbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Retreat if eight otters approach from the west.

5. Never allow tapirs to witness sacred rites.

Yarpbellquagdut is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, dishonourable shrew.

Yarpbellquagdut created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbellquagdut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarpbellquagdut, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Yarpbellquagdut's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Yarpbellquagdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about photosynthesis.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Do not gather at towers at dawn.

4. Never write about electromagnetism.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, benevolent otter.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ripmabjat Yamdodkap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ripmabjat Yamdodkap, it will turn you into a mouse.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Ripmabjat Yamdodkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near porpoises.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with whales.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

Sidhogzan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able goat.

Sidhogzan created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidhogzan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sidhogzan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sidhogzan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sidhogzan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

Nillbatwip is a god.

He takes the form of a large, duplicitous hydra.

Nillbatwip created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillbatwip, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nillbatwip, he will not invite you to parties.

Nillbatwip's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Nillbatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not record names concerning black holes.

5. Do not shave your hands.