Dubmegnarxin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, weak faun.

Dubmegnarxin created the Black Eye Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubmegnarxin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dubmegnarxin, it will turn you into a rat.

Dubmegnarxin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Dubmegnarxin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight ducks approach from the south.

2. Never talk about birds.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Never write about moons.

Siszaktamzentom is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable lobster.

Siszaktamzentom created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Siszaktamzentom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Siszaktamzentom, he will turn you into a goat.

Siszaktamzentom's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Siszaktamzentom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not consume oranges at dawn.

2. Do not gather at wells at dusk.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Never talk about dark matter near porpoises while wearing gray boots and balancing seven titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Erect eight copper sculptures of Siszaktamzentom on top of important buildings.

Liddudzan is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered troll.

Liddudzan created a strange quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Liddudzan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Liddudzan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Liddudzan's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Liddudzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

2. Always store bread above ground.

3. Pray only in moonlight.

4. Never talk about whales.

5. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

Bodfab is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, overgenerous jackal.

Bodfab created the world two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodfab, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bodfab, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bodfab's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bodfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip at mountains.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never stain your feet with orange.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never point your arms toward the north during prayer.

Sidmonzed is a god.

She takes the form of a small, narcissistic owl.

Sidmonzed created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidmonzed, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidmonzed, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sidmonzed's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sidmonzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always store grapes above ground.

2. Do not wear trousers marked with violet.

3. Never write about enzymes.

4. Never talk about nucleic acids.

5. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

Bogjarnbafrapdav is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciless scorpion.

Bogjarnbafrapdav created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogjarnbafrapdav, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bogjarnbafrapdav, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bogjarnbafrapdav's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Bogjarnbafrapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Always share turnips with strangers, but never with ants.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never gather seven badgers in one place.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

Gumpang is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, merciless deer.

Gumpang created life two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumpang, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gumpang, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gumpang's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gumpang's Holy Commandments

1. Gumpang must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if seven nematodes approach from the west.

3. Never feed lots of rice to badgers while wearing red rings.

4. Do not consume lemons at dawn.

5. Always help sick gulls.

Maplamhud is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, omniscient chinchilla.

Maplamhud created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Maplamhud, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Maplamhud, she will make you grow a tail.

Maplamhud's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Maplamhud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Do not prepare parsnips while wearing rings.

4. Maplamhud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.