Quartliglib is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous crow.

Quartliglib created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartliglib, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quartliglib, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Quartliglib's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Quartliglib's Holy Commandments

1. Put Quartliglib first in all things.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away from indigo goats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not travel during autumn.

5. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

Gatyarptif is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, caring coyote.

Gatyarptif created the planet Saturn three million years ago.

If you believe in Gatyarptif, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gatyarptif, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gatyarptif's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gatyarptif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not hurt doves.

Omintadkop is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, moody newt.

Omintadkop created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Omintadkop, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Omintadkop, she will turn you into a duck.

Omintadkop's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Omintadkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Omintadkop in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always remove ear rings before touching silver.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Joptanshavdit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured finch.

Joptanshavdit created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Joptanshavdit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Joptanshavdit, it will destroy your favourite star.

Joptanshavdit's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Joptanshavdit's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing brown trousers and balancing six tin spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about fire.

Bamgetkom Gubwegkad is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring shark.

Bamgetkom Gubwegkad created oxygen twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bamgetkom Gubwegkad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bamgetkom Gubwegkad, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bamgetkom Gubwegkad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bamgetkom Gubwegkad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Heed all portents.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never adorn your arms with violet markings.

5. Never stain your head with green.

Limcudfat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, strong walrus.

Limcudfat created a strange quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Limcudfat, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Limcudfat, he will turn you into a worm.

Limcudfat's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Limcudfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near capybaras while wearing violet trousers and balancing eight iron spheres on your hands.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not kill voles.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not eat peas.

Sanquartgud is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, passionate capybara.

Sanquartgud created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sanquartgud, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sanquartgud, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sanquartgud's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Sanquartgud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing red boots and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

Yatquafgat is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, loving yak.

Yatquafgat created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Yatquafgat, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yatquafgat, she will remove you from existence.

Yatquafgat's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yatquafgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

5. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.