Fagbarnster is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, dishonest troll.

Fagbarnster created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagbarnster, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fagbarnster, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fagbarnster's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Fagbarnster's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick pigs.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching iron.

4. Fagbarnster loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Never point your chest toward the north during prayer.

Nurlgepstan is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate hedgehog.

Nurlgepstan created Asia three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlgepstan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nurlgepstan, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nurlgepstan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Nurlgepstan's Holy Commandments

1. Nurlgepstan loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Nurlgepstan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never think ill of sick mice.

Habmiswip Ganzogwot is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage wolf.

Habmiswip Ganzogwot created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Habmiswip Ganzogwot, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Habmiswip Ganzogwot, she will ignore you.

Habmiswip Ganzogwot's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Habmiswip Ganzogwot's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not consume strawberries at dawn.

5. Never talk about nucleic acids.

Bonsanwod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful hydra.

Bonsanwod created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsanwod, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bonsanwod, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bonsanwod's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bonsanwod's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Always look after injured dogs.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Worship no other gods but Bonsanwod.

Cinflagcet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, able rat.

Cinflagcet created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cinflagcet, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cinflagcet, he will send minions to preach to you.

Cinflagcet's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Cinflagcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

2. Never sprint near tapirs.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never mark doors with turquoise.

5. Retreat if eight whales approach from the east.

Tadxentig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, charitable hedgehog.

Tadxentig created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadxentig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tadxentig, he will turn you into a worm.

Tadxentig's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tadxentig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

2. You must never eat rice.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tadxentig.

4. Never adorn your legs with white markings.

5. You must love Tadxentig.

Fighonkon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, almighty goblin.

Fighonkon created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fighonkon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fighonkon, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Fighonkon's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fighonkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of elders.

2. Worship no other gods but Fighonkon.

3. Never mention foxes.

4. Never hurt porpoises.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

Dossanbinmil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing newt.

Dossanbinmil created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dossanbinmil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dossanbinmil, he will destroy your favourite star.

Dossanbinmil's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Dossanbinmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never adorn your head with mauve markings.