Cidnegarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless narwhal.

Cidnegarn created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Cidnegarn, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cidnegarn, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cidnegarn's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cidnegarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not step barefoot upon pink earth.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about nebulae.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Cibruttlop is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful cat.

Cibruttlop created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibruttlop, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cibruttlop, she will make you grow a tail.

Cibruttlop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Cibruttlop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cibruttlop six times a day.

2. Always look after injured birds.

3. Never remain standing at dawn.

4. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Satzodven is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, effective owl.

Satzodven created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Satzodven, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Satzodven, he will curse you with boils.

Satzodven's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Satzodven's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never pray while filled with fear.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Never allow rats to sleep beneath your roof.

Wotfumpon Hakraplog is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, charitable shark.

Wotfumpon Hakraplog created the Sombrero Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Wotfumpon Hakraplog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotfumpon Hakraplog, she will turn you into a duck.

Wotfumpon Hakraplog's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Wotfumpon Hakraplog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never allow monkeys to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look at galaxies.

Witarncet is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, smart clam.

Witarncet created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witarncet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Witarncet, he will turn you into a sheep.

Witarncet's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Witarncet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near ducks while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven iron spheres on your legs.

2. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Never handle gold while unclean.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Hotominfab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent spider.

Hotominfab created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotominfab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotominfab, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hotominfab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hotominfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never go into gray rooms.

Rakgamcebstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, clever cat.

Rakgamcebstrag created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakgamcebstrag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rakgamcebstrag, he will turn you into a worm.

Rakgamcebstrag's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Rakgamcebstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near doves while wearing orange kilts and balancing four titanium spheres on your back.

2. Do not contemplate dark matter during the night.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Rakgamcebstrag on top of all buildings.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.

Mumtitflig is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, selfish bat.

Mumtitflig created the world nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumtitflig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mumtitflig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Mumtitflig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Mumtitflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine birds near doors.

2. Never cross mountains at dawn.

3. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Mumtitflig loves rats, so they must be respected.