Farcebvidpop is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, sapient alligator.

Farcebvidpop created the Sombrero Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farcebvidpop, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farcebvidpop, he will destroy your home solar system.

Farcebvidpop's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Farcebvidpop's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

3. Farcebvidpop must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Farcebvidpop loves dolphins, so they must be respected.

5. Never record signs.

Bosslargpon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless weasel.

Bosslargpon created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosslargpon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bosslargpon, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bosslargpon's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Bosslargpon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Do not record signs concerning moons.

3. Erect three platinum sculptures of Bosslargpon on top of important buildings.

4. Do not prepare cherries while wearing jumpers.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Farnpasmad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witty dugong.

Farnpasmad created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnpasmad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Farnpasmad, he will have a low opinion of you.

Farnpasmad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Farnpasmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not record secrets concerning planets.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, competent shrew.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan created the planet Mars twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yoglegyat Kadjonjan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yoglegyat Kadjonjan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yoglegyat Kadjonjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Never gather three whales near bridges.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Do not prepare wheat while filled with pride.

Liportdag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever warg.

Liportdag created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Liportdag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Liportdag, he will turn you into a tree.

Liportdag's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Liportdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never eat turnips.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never speak at dawn.

5. Do not record numbers concerning dwarf planets.

Barncaptunlag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, fussy frog.

Barncaptunlag created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barncaptunlag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Barncaptunlag, it will turn you into a tree.

Barncaptunlag's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Barncaptunlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare gooseberries during spring.

2. Never think about optics near foxes while wearing black dresses and balancing eight lead spheres on your head.

3. Never sprint in autumn.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, contented manatee.

Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Ham Xucgutmip Jabsanddut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Do not sprint at rivers.

3. Always remove corsets before entering holy places.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Do not place onions upon stone.

Ladduttit is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, resourceful meerkat.

Ladduttit created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladduttit, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ladduttit, she will turn you into a snail.

Ladduttit's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Ladduttit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Ladduttit in the centre of the settlement.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near mice while wearing fawn skirts and balancing eight gold spheres on your legs.