Fedstigdan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, dishonest porpoise.

Fedstigdan created parasitic wasps eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fedstigdan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fedstigdan, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fedstigdan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fedstigdan's Holy Commandments

1. Remain bowed during prayer.

2. Fedstigdan loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Never paint your feet pink.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Always wear black.

Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, ruthless naga.

Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem, he will manifest in front of you.

Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Do not gather at wells at dawn.

4. Stercusskonmotzencipwapxem must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the east.

Wantamdag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm donkey.

Wantamdag created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wantamdag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wantamdag, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wantamdag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wantamdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in spring.

2. Never wear gray coats on sacred days.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to voles while wearing cyan skirts.

5. You must love Wantamdag.

Bopbemkad is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, capable parrot.

Bopbemkad created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bopbemkad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bopbemkad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Bopbemkad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Bopbemkad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured gulls.

2. Never gather nine manatees in one place.

3. Do not take Bopbemkad's name in vain.

4. Never allow voles to witness sacred rites.

5. Pray only in moonlight.

Yimbedbop Danlitdog is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, stupid otter.

Yimbedbop Danlitdog created the planet Mars two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimbedbop Danlitdog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yimbedbop Danlitdog, it will turn you into a slug.

Yimbedbop Danlitdog's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Yimbedbop Danlitdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Shun those given to greed.

Farniglit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, egotistical grasshopper.

Farniglit created an atom two years ago.

If you believe in Farniglit, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Farniglit, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Farniglit's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Farniglit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Never sprint in spring.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Lipmutdog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, two-faced fairy.

Lipmutdog created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipmutdog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lipmutdog, it will refuse to believe in you.

Lipmutdog's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Lipmutdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Lipmutdog loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Gofhotfigvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unjust lion.

Gofhotfigvil created the Sun four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofhotfigvil, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofhotfigvil, he will manifest in front of you.

Gofhotfigvil's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gofhotfigvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of sheep.

2. Never eat lentils on holy days.

3. Never hurt horses.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.