Hogwikban Dadflatril is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent sheep.

Hogwikban Dadflatril created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogwikban Dadflatril, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hogwikban Dadflatril, it will remove you from existence.

Hogwikban Dadflatril's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Hogwikban Dadflatril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogwikban Dadflatril.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away from pink dogs, for they are unholy.

Xuckfigkemnabtig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest deer.

Xuckfigkemnabtig created gold nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckfigkemnabtig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Xuckfigkemnabtig, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Xuckfigkemnabtig's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Xuckfigkemnabtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.

Nurtzakmum is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, humorless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nurtzakmum created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtzakmum, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurtzakmum, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nurtzakmum's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Nurtzakmum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nurtzakmum.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about special relativity near doves while wearing brown hats.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear purple clothing.

Rullbonkhab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, capable turtle.

Rullbonkhab created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rullbonkhab, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rullbonkhab, she will turn you into a sheep.

Rullbonkhab's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Rullbonkhab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant white sculpture of Rullbonkhab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Do not skip in public.

Farntarlam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, charitable mongoose.

Farntarlam created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farntarlam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Farntarlam, she will laugh at you.

Farntarlam's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Farntarlam's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never feed carrots to squirrels while wearing yellow shoes.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Bogquafcad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, loving tapir.

Bogquafcad created the world eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bogquafcad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bogquafcad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bogquafcad's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bogquafcad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine lead sculptures of Bogquafcad on top of important buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat cucumbers.

Gutjigrottar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring unicorn.

Gutjigrottar created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutjigrottar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gutjigrottar, it will not care.

Gutjigrottar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gutjigrottar's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always obey Gutjigrottar's priests.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Yartfumbeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil bird.

Yartfumbeg created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartfumbeg, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yartfumbeg, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yartfumbeg's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Yartfumbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple moths for they are unholy.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not kill whales.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near manatees while wearing black hats.