Gednelldoss is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, narcissistic goose.

Gednelldoss created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gednelldoss, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gednelldoss, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gednelldoss' most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Gednelldoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snakes.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Gednelldoss loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Always treat shrews with great respect.

Boptailmap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, compassionate lobster.

Boptailmap created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Boptailmap, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Boptailmap, she will laugh at you.

Boptailmap's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Boptailmap's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never travel toward the east during summer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

Vonkdibgab is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, bad-tempered pigeon.

Vonkdibgab created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdibgab, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vonkdibgab, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Vonkdibgab's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Vonkdibgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

3. You must pray to Vonkdibgab five times a day.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

Bundonbim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, smart hummingbird.

Bundonbim created the solar system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bundonbim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bundonbim, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Bundonbim's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Bundonbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to six before sleeping.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bundonbim.

5. Do not kill hamsters.

Lam is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, deceitful dryad.

Lam created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Lam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lam, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Lam's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help aardvarks.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.

Gabcidpadkin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate mink.

Gabcidpadkin created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gabcidpadkin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gabcidpadkin, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gabcidpadkin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gabcidpadkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never travel toward the south during autumn.

4. Gabcidpadkin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near mice while wearing blue jumpers and balancing seven platinum spheres on your arms.

Vantafnulkankom is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, quiet bee.

Vantafnulkankom created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vantafnulkankom, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vantafnulkankom, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vantafnulkankom's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Vantafnulkankom's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Never wear blue shorts.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

Tapgethap is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, thoughtless bird.

Tapgethap created the Sun five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapgethap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tapgethap, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tapgethap's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tapgethap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at towers at dusk.

2. Do not eat grapes.

3. Never record signs.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Tapgethap on top of all buildings.

5. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.