Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, confident yak.

Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast, she will turn you into a snail.

Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to pigs while wearing brown shoes.

2. Always share bread with strangers, but never with squirrels.

3. Always obey Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast's priests.

4. Futpondam Xucnarwithengupmigbast must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.

Donvonweg is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, thoughtless troll.

Donvonweg created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Donvonweg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Donvonweg, she will throw large rocks at you.

Donvonweg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Donvonweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head red.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Never pray while filled with anger.

Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, selfish hummingbird.

Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim, it will be mildly annoyed.

Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Pinbutbog Ratnatfetfed Xinhim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green ants, for they are unholy.

2. Never adorn your chest with red markings.

3. Never mark doors with white.

4. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing cyan shorts and balancing three titanium spheres on your neck.

Omtbagpak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, passionate beaver.

Omtbagpak created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtbagpak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtbagpak, she will turn you into a mole.

Omtbagpak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Omtbagpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in autumn.

2. Never stain your neck with cyan.

3. Always act with purity when addressing children.

4. Never cross mountains at dusk.

5. Always help pigs.

Stipranjan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, emotional dryad.

Stipranjan created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipranjan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Stipranjan, he will turn you into a frog.

Stipranjan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Stipranjan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never speak at midnight.

3. Do not travel during summer.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

Barntikfob is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, all-knowing human.

Barntikfob created a Higgs boson seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Barntikfob, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Barntikfob, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Barntikfob's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Barntikfob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near whales while wearing orange rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your hands.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Never curse while facing south.

4. Never fashion tools from wood.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Budnurljam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, competent grasshopper.

Budnurljam created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Budnurljam, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Budnurljam, it will destroy your home solar system.

Budnurljam's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Budnurljam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Always check lakes for frogs.

Farsigrap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unselfish clam.

Farsigrap created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Farsigrap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Farsigrap, she will be very unhappy.

Farsigrap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Farsigrap's Holy Commandments

1. Farsigrap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never pray while filled with anger.

5. Retreat if eight hamsters approach from the east.