Vagruttnak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, resourceful lion.

Vagruttnak created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagruttnak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vagruttnak, he will refuse to believe in you.

Vagruttnak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Vagruttnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.

2. Do not step barefoot upon fawn earth.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never prepare beans during winter.

Fligzenwad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, humorless goblin.

Fligzenwad created the universe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligzenwad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fligzenwad, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fligzenwad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Fligzenwad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Always maintain patience during holy days.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near geese while wearing green rings.

Mapbastlen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, conceited goat.

Mapbastlen created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbastlen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mapbastlen, he will not invite you to parties.

Mapbastlen's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Mapbastlen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to eagles while wearing shorts.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never jump in spring.

5. Never cross rivers at midnight.

Vonksisren is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, compassionate fly.

Vonksisren created an atom two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonksisren, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonksisren, he will make you grow a tail.

Vonksisren's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vonksisren's Holy Commandments

1. Always share rice with strangers, but never with turtles.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never sing in the presence of sharks.

5. Always remove dresses before touching carbon.

Xinparkgup is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unjust ferret.

Xinparkgup created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Xinparkgup, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Xinparkgup, it will turn you into a dog.

Xinparkgup's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Xinparkgup's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never gather six foxes in one place.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never chant while facing north.

Barnsadomt Logabarm is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, uncaring goat.

Barnsadomt Logabarm created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsadomt Logabarm, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Barnsadomt Logabarm, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Barnsadomt Logabarm's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Barnsadomt Logabarm's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Run away from brown hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Hide from pink snakes for they are unholy.

Abwipvab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty mole.

Abwipvab created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Abwipvab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Abwipvab, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Abwipvab's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Abwipvab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

5. Respect your elders.

Kamnutshav is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, intelligent finch.

Kamnutshav created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kamnutshav, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kamnutshav, it will turn you into a goat.

Kamnutshav's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Kamnutshav's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

2. Always obey Kamnutshav's priests.

3. Never record signs.

4. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

5. Never stain your chest with brown.