Femvogwon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, staggering weasel.

Femvogwon created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femvogwon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Femvogwon, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Femvogwon's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Femvogwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. You must love Femvogwon.

4. Never think about optics.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Femvogwon in the centre of the settlement.

Fudfudjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental horse.

Fudfudjap created the Black Eye Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fudfudjap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fudfudjap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fudfudjap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fudfudjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near nematodes while wearing blue shirts and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Fudfudjap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Never paint your hands purple.

Labdanpak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, charitable deer.

Labdanpak created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labdanpak, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Labdanpak, it will be very unhappy.

Labdanpak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Labdanpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. You must love Labdanpak.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Rulbonfet is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent grasshopper.

Rulbonfet created the Virgo Supercluster four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulbonfet, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rulbonfet, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Rulbonfet's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Rulbonfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rulbonfet.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Do not skip in public.

Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered otter.

Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag, it will make you grow a tail.

Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bankanyatt Tagkenfud Bag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed grapes to voles while wearing shorts.

2. Run away from magenta gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

Yakflapcun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, bad-tempered aardvark.

Yakflapcun created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakflapcun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yakflapcun, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yakflapcun's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Yakflapcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Do not commit murder.

Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, effective meerkat.

Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near ducks while wearing blue shirts and balancing six silver spheres on your back.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban.

4. Put Hindodbarn Fasomthub Queeglimban first in all things.

5. Always wear red.

Misjigjin is a god.

It takes the form of a large, witless shrew.

Misjigjin created a Higgs boson twelve years ago.

If you believe in Misjigjin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Misjigjin, it will come to you in dreams.

Misjigjin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Misjigjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never feed strawberries to geese while wearing trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always wear green.