Bopmigxem is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, able badger.

Bopmigxem created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopmigxem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bopmigxem, he will turn you into a tree.

Bopmigxem's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bopmigxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Run away from indigo cats, for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think ill of sick ants.

Cammotsatbop is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, strong swallow.

Cammotsatbop created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cammotsatbop, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cammotsatbop, he will destroy your favourite star.

Cammotsatbop's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cammotsatbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Never fashion tools from bone.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Never talk about geese.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic penguin.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom, it will turn you into a sheep.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lidnulbass Cutvogmis Hanbinsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the strong nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not keep eight frogs in a large pit.

4. Never paint your neck turquoise.

5. Never write about archaea.

Mothathin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, proud finch.

Mothathin created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mothathin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mothathin, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Mothathin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Mothathin's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather six mice in one place.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always wash your head before prayer.

Hivtikfet is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful wolf.

Hivtikfet created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivtikfet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hivtikfet, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hivtikfet's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Hivtikfet's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hivtikfet.

4. Always obey Hivtikfet's priests.

5. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, moody chinchilla.

Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon, it will refuse to believe in you.

Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hubbassmob Kabfabbaghon's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not commit murder.

Flapcibhot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy centaur.

Flapcibhot created the Sunflower Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Flapcibhot, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flapcibhot, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flapcibhot's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flapcibhot's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not place turnips upon stone.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

5. Never leap in winter.

Nilnillweg is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless skunk.

Nilnillweg created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nilnillweg, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nilnillweg, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nilnillweg's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Nilnillweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sharks.

2. Always wear plain dresses during rituals.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Nilnillweg must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nilnillweg.