Jinpodril is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient mouse.

Jinpodril created everything that exists nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinpodril, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinpodril, she will have a low opinion of you.

Jinpodril's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Jinpodril's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Run away if four sheep approach from the east.

4. Never remain prostrate at midday.

5. Do not skip at mountains.

Dinzednul is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical owl.

Dinzednul created the Cigar Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinzednul, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dinzednul, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dinzednul's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dinzednul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed bananas to bats while wearing hats.

4. Never record numbers.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

Tom is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, resourceful lizard.

Tom created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tom, it will try to impress you with trees.

Tom's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink otters for they are unholy.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

5. Never stain your feet with magenta.

Lunkanpomtomleg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, moody deer.

Lunkanpomtomleg created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lunkanpomtomleg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lunkanpomtomleg, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Lunkanpomtomleg's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Lunkanpomtomleg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon magenta earth.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Always count to nine before sleeping.

4. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

5. Worship no other gods but Lunkanpomtomleg.

Yattsak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, vain cobra.

Yattsak created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattsak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yattsak, she will turn you into a mouse.

Yattsak's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yattsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never jump in the presence of cats.

3. Never wear red corsets.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Never mix parsnips with water.

Nurtsatsas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive cobra.

Nurtsatsas created the Sunflower Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsatsas, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurtsatsas, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nurtsatsas' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Nurtsatsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Never handle silicon while unclean.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Worship no other gods but Nurtsatsas.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.

Jopbutnabcin is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable owl.

Jopbutnabcin created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Jopbutnabcin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopbutnabcin, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Jopbutnabcin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jopbutnabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat corn.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Never handle zinc while unclean.

4. Always help bats.

5. Do not keep eight moths in a large pit.

Dadtiklag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, wise cobra.

Dadtiklag created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dadtiklag, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dadtiklag, it will destroy your home solar system.

Dadtiklag's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dadtiklag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

3. Never allow nematodes to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dadtiklag.

5. Do not listen to music.