Sitnakyik is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish dingo.

Sitnakyik created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitnakyik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sitnakyik, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sitnakyik's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sitnakyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Hide from red doves for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

Tettipinbell is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, omnipotent monkey.

Tettipinbell created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettipinbell, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tettipinbell, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tettipinbell's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tettipinbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not dye your hair blue.

3. You must love Tettipinbell.

4. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

5. Never eat grapes.

Vablimquimbonlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, clever eagle.

Vablimquimbonlarp created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vablimquimbonlarp, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vablimquimbonlarp, she will try to impress you with trees.

Vablimquimbonlarp's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vablimquimbonlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Vablimquimbonlarp in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear ear rings.

Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy naga.

Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib, she will turn you into a slug.

Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Put Suglaphathad Hivratquim Fedzodcib first in all things.

3. Always cleanse blood with water.

4. Never fashion tools from bone.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.

Milzenjigfon is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, caring faun.

Milzenjigfon created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Milzenjigfon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Milzenjigfon, she will be very sad.

Milzenjigfon's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Milzenjigfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan jumpers.

2. You must pray to Milzenjigfon nine times a day.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always maintain purity during holy days.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Milzenjigfon.

Gepfubkom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, impressive dugong.

Gepfubkom created dark matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gepfubkom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gepfubkom, it will turn you into a tree.

Gepfubkom's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Gepfubkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Never chant while facing west.

4. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

5. Never think about enzymes.

Karsannan Wangumflam is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, kind dragon.

Karsannan Wangumflam created time and space two billion years ago.

If you believe in Karsannan Wangumflam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Karsannan Wangumflam, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Karsannan Wangumflam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Karsannan Wangumflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory.

2. Never leap in the presence of elders.

3. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.

4. Never gather nine shrews in one place.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

Lidlognurt is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tranquil lobster.

Lidlognurt created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Lidlognurt, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lidlognurt, he will turn you into a mouse.

Lidlognurt's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Lidlognurt's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Retreat if seven gulls approach from the east.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never think about eukaryotes.