Nellarppop is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, compassionate wren.

Nellarppop created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellarppop, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nellarppop, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nellarppop's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nellarppop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to otters while wearing mauve boots.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

Negtinpas is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless fish.

Negtinpas created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negtinpas, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Negtinpas, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Negtinpas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Negtinpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Never laugh in the presence of elders.

Gangubxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sage hummingbird.

Gangubxuck created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gangubxuck, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gangubxuck, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Gangubxuck's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gangubxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mark doors with gray.

5. Never touch ash while blessed.

Sigbudtar is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, calm aardvark.

Sigbudtar created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Sigbudtar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sigbudtar, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Sigbudtar's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Sigbudtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not record numbers concerning nebulae.

2. Remain prostrate during prayer.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near ants while wearing green scarves and balancing five gold spheres on your hands.

5. Worship no other gods but Sigbudtar.

Litgubnar is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable dog.

Litgubnar created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litgubnar, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Litgubnar, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Litgubnar's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Litgubnar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing brown shirts and balancing nine tin spheres on your legs.

4. Do not speak about parsnips.

5. Shun those given to sloth.

Tapstragtail is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered capybara.

Tapstragtail created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapstragtail, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapstragtail, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tapstragtail's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tapstragtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with cyan markings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your legs pink.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not resist fate.

Dosstarnill is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, awe-inspiring otter.

Dosstarnill created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosstarnill, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dosstarnill, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dosstarnill's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dosstarnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Run away from yellow manatees, for they are unholy.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

Batwotrag is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, moody capybara.

Batwotrag created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batwotrag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Batwotrag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Batwotrag's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Batwotrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing at mountains.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.