Rakyokgupveen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, selfish crab.

Rakyokgupveen created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakyokgupveen, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakyokgupveen, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rakyokgupveen's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Rakyokgupveen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if seven pigs approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Rakyokgupveen in the centre of the settlement.

Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish weasel.

Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam, she will manifest in front of you.

Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Quillbapfetappnuttmigflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Lendissrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent dryad.

Lendissrutt created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lendissrutt, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lendissrutt, he will destroy your home planet.

Lendissrutt's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lendissrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Never handle platinum while unclean.

4. Always help birds in need.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Kaddumlogbop is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, uncaring human.

Kaddumlogbop created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kaddumlogbop, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kaddumlogbop, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Kaddumlogbop's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Kaddumlogbop's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always look after injured swans.

3. Never prepare coconuts during spring.

4. Never proclaim while facing east.

5. Always wash your back before prayer.

Motcimgom is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, thoughtless walrus.

Motcimgom created parasitic wasps four years ago.

If you believe in Motcimgom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Motcimgom, she will try to impress you with trees.

Motcimgom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Motcimgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Motcimgom.

3. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Pogpogquart is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, all-powerful cow.

Pogpogquart created Europe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pogpogquart, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogpogquart, he will destroy your favourite star.

Pogpogquart's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Pogpogquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from tin.

2. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Always take life seriously.

Wanrigdit is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, passionate wolf.

Wanrigdit created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanrigdit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wanrigdit, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Wanrigdit's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Wanrigdit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing coats.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing green jumpers.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Never paint your feet yellow.

Febmidhon is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sage fairy.

Febmidhon created the Virgo Supercluster nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Febmidhon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Febmidhon, it will boil you in a big pot.

Febmidhon's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Febmidhon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry bats.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not wear shirts marked with blue.

4. Never cross forests at midnight.

5. Always act with patience.