Rutbamgad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental centaur.

Rutbamgad created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutbamgad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rutbamgad, she will have a low opinion of you.

Rutbamgad's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Rutbamgad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of dark energy near sacred fires.

2. Do not speak about lentils.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.

Mifcubnull is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic wren.

Mifcubnull created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifcubnull, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Mifcubnull, it will curse you with boils.

Mifcubnull's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Mifcubnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Do not prepare carrots while filled with joy.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Never point your legs toward the east during prayer.

Karhenpit is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage mole.

Karhenpit created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karhenpit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Karhenpit, she will turn you into a worm.

Karhenpit's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Karhenpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never wear white tights.

5. Never eat bark.

Pondubjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, self-assured hummingbird.

Pondubjop created gold two years ago.

If you believe in Pondubjop, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pondubjop, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pondubjop's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pondubjop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always help sick porpoises.

Fonhaslarn is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, pitiless shrew.

Fonhaslarn created the planet Mars seven million years ago.

If you believe in Fonhaslarn, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonhaslarn, he will turn you into a goat.

Fonhaslarn's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fonhaslarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing children.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to whales while wearing indigo jumpers.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Fonhaslarn on top of all buildings.

5. You must love Fonhaslarn.

Motflapgut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, pitiless fish.

Motflapgut created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Motflapgut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Motflapgut, it will ignore you.

Motflapgut's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Motflapgut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Motflapgut in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never record secrets.

3. You must pray to Motflapgut seven times a day.

4. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.

5. Never wear coats.

Zodduncut is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, boastful duck.

Zodduncut created oxygen eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodduncut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zodduncut, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zodduncut's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Zodduncut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never sit near whales.

4. Do not gather at doors at dusk.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Tettinarsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic giraffe.

Tettinarsaf created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettinarsaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tettinarsaf, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tettinarsaf's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Tettinarsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in summer.

2. Never mix nuts with water.

3. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

4. Never talk about optics near seals while wearing black skirts and balancing nine lead spheres on your legs.

5. Erect eight gold sculptures of Tettinarsaf on top of important buildings.