Bemcutgeppag is a god.

He takes the form of a large, caring spider.

Bemcutgeppag created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bemcutgeppag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemcutgeppag, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bemcutgeppag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bemcutgeppag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Never mix strawberries with ash.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

Fub is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, effective crow.

Fub created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fub, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fub, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Fub's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Fub's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about quantum field theory near voles while wearing yellow kilts and balancing seven silver spheres on your feet.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. You must pray to Fub four times a day.

Nadstigcumtarglist is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy donkey.

Nadstigcumtarglist created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nadstigcumtarglist, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nadstigcumtarglist, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nadstigcumtarglist's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nadstigcumtarglist's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

5. Do not covet oxen.

Poplidxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, prudent ferret.

Poplidxen created snails four million years ago.

If you believe in Poplidxen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Poplidxen, she will think nothing of it.

Poplidxen's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Poplidxen's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Never feed cucumbers to aardvarks while wearing dresses.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must pray to Poplidxen five times a day.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive donkey.

Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat created the Black Eye Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat, he will destroy your favourite star.

Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pashitkarveen Cibpodxemwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to bats while wearing cyan boots.

2. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never allow gulls to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

Batlarprutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud snake.

Batlarprutt created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Batlarprutt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Batlarprutt, it will turn you into a puffin.

Batlarprutt's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Batlarprutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always look after injured foxes.

4. Never think ill of sick snakes.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

Jadsancet is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty faun.

Jadsancet created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadsancet, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jadsancet, she will turn you into a worm.

Jadsancet's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Jadsancet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

2. Do not take Jadsancet's name in vain.

3. Hide from pink snails for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not travel during spring.

Vegladdap is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, omnipotent coyote.

Vegladdap created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegladdap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vegladdap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vegladdap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Vegladdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Vegladdap in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near monkeys while wearing brown tights and balancing five aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Never point your head toward the west during prayer.