Vidhotbud is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, deceitful bee.

Vidhotbud created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vidhotbud, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vidhotbud, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vidhotbud's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vidhotbud's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

2. Do not name children after mites.

3. Hide from white horses for they are unholy.

4. Never eat nuts.

5. Always remove coats before touching carbon.

Kapdusscuss Titrakham is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ruthless jellyfish.

Kapdusscuss Titrakham created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapdusscuss Titrakham, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kapdusscuss Titrakham, it will cry a lot.

Kapdusscuss Titrakham's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Kapdusscuss Titrakham's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away if eight dogs approach from the west.

3. Do not record secrets concerning asteroids.

4. Never allow dolphins to witness sacred rites.

5. Never write about stars.

Gepgenvan is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unselfish centipede.

Gepgenvan created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgenvan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gepgenvan, it will come to you in dreams.

Gepgenvan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gepgenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Run away if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

Vabqueegvol is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, sage capybara.

Vabqueegvol created life seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabqueegvol, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vabqueegvol, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vabqueegvol's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Vabqueegvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with tortoises.

2. Do not eat strawberries.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Never feed lemons to swans while wearing mauve ear rings.

5. Never write about moons.

Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, prudent walrus.

Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Bigboddav Tofdonarm Quatlithen on top of all buildings.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

Jandubgun is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy camel.

Jandubgun created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Jandubgun, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jandubgun, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jandubgun's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Jandubgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never jump near tortoises.

4. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.

Lidlibfut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful eagle.

Lidlibfut created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidlibfut, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lidlibfut, he will turn you into a rock.

Lidlibfut's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Lidlibfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine cats near towers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

5. Never hurt dolphins.

Metcinbon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fussy dingo.

Metcinbon created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Metcinbon, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Metcinbon, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Metcinbon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Metcinbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of elders.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Always treat manatees with great respect.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.