Tofkabpod is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, thoughtless armadillo.

Tofkabpod created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofkabpod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tofkabpod, she will not care.

Tofkabpod's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Tofkabpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

4. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Tofkabpod in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Quagdapteen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless gnu.

Quagdapteen created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagdapteen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quagdapteen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quagdapteen's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Quagdapteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cucumbers during winter.

2. Never feed lots of peas to cats while wearing green kilts.

3. Never gather nine whales in one place.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look in ponds.

Mumnurlkinmon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered chicken.

Mumnurlkinmon created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mumnurlkinmon, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mumnurlkinmon, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Mumnurlkinmon's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Mumnurlkinmon's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo birds, for they are unholy.

2. Never laugh near horses.

3. Hide if nine turtles approach from the east.

4. Never record signs.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

Cepdossdot is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow bird.

Cepdossdot created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepdossdot, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cepdossdot, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Cepdossdot's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Cepdossdot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Always help sick seals.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never skip in holy places.

Gabdabpid is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate hare.

Gabdabpid created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabdabpid, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gabdabpid, it will turn you into a goat.

Gabdabpid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Gabdabpid's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain patience during fasting days.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gabdabpid on top of all buildings.

4. Always act with humility when addressing priests.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.

Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, flying camel.

Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass created a quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass, it will not care.

Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass' most sacred site is Burras in England.

Flanyarpgep Tarpvinbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after ants.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with manatees.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

Ontdin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, happy fish.

Ontdin created the Sunflower Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ontdin, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ontdin, she will destroy your favourite star.

Ontdin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ontdin's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to pigs while wearing fawn shirts.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Pray only in moonlight.

5. Never feed beans to tortoises while wearing mauve jumpers.

Jatbigxin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, strong butterfly.

Jatbigxin created the Black Eye Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatbigxin, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jatbigxin, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Jatbigxin's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Jatbigxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

2. Always remove corsets before touching silicon.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Jatbigxin in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink alcohol.