Babmobjon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tiresome wyrm.

Babmobjon created Mount Everest two billion years ago.

If you believe in Babmobjon, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Babmobjon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Babmobjon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Babmobjon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Always wear red.

3. Retreat if three swans approach from the west.

4. Do not sprint at rivers.

5. Never bounce in spring.

Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fussy gerbil.

Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak, he will ignore you.

Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Do not prepare peanuts while wearing coats.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dotnullven Litstigfad Sadbassnak.

5. Never allow snails to witness sacred rites.

Ruttarftin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, almighty raven.

Ruttarftin created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttarftin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ruttarftin, she will turn you into a frog.

Ruttarftin's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ruttarftin's Holy Commandments

1. Ruttarftin loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never approach forests carrying ash.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never travel toward the west during summer.

Stangempom is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unthoughtful spider.

Stangempom created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stangempom, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stangempom, it will manifest in front of you.

Stangempom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Stangempom's Holy Commandments

1. Always share corn with strangers, but never with nematodes.

2. Always obey Stangempom's priests.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about spacetime near porpoises while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing three silicon spheres on your head.

5. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the east.

Nellmetwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful dryad.

Nellmetwon created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nellmetwon, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nellmetwon, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nellmetwon's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Nellmetwon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry porpoises.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not keep six badgers in a large pit.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Never eat bread.

Yattkiklikdam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy donkey.

Yattkiklikdam created parasitic wasps three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattkiklikdam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yattkiklikdam, she will turn you into a dog.

Yattkiklikdam's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Yattkiklikdam's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Yattkiklikdam's priests.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

3. Erect six iron sculptures of Yattkiklikdam on top of important buildings.

4. Worship no other gods but Yattkiklikdam.

5. Fast once a month.

Arnhoggun Nigkangod is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, almighty bat.

Arnhoggun Nigkangod created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnhoggun Nigkangod, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arnhoggun Nigkangod, she will remove you from existence.

Arnhoggun Nigkangod's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Arnhoggun Nigkangod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Arnhoggun Nigkangod in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

3. Never mix figs with ash.

4. Shun those given to greed.

5. Never wear corsets.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish penguin.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed strawberries to monkeys while wearing stockings.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to eagles while wearing cyan corsets.

4. Never stain your neck with violet.

5. You must pray to Ortnurkamnuttbamhonvabkip five times a day.