Natgidtik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able rhinoceros.

Natgidtik created the Andromeda Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natgidtik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Natgidtik, she will ignore you.

Natgidtik's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Natgidtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.

2. Never adorn your chest with gray markings.

3. Hide if eight horses approach from the east.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never record numbers.

Somgigfat is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, competent troll.

Somgigfat created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somgigfat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somgigfat, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Somgigfat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Somgigfat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Never travel toward the west during summer.

5. Do not name children after otters.

Bessgatwabart is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest mink.

Bessgatwabart created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgatwabart, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessgatwabart, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bessgatwabart's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bessgatwabart's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Never feed peanuts to badgers while wearing skirts.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

Cisshitbun is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, calm jaguar.

Cisshitbun created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cisshitbun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cisshitbun, he will throw large rocks at you.

Cisshitbun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cisshitbun's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never jump in the presence of tapirs.

Sabgebfag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, duplicitous elephant.

Sabgebfag created the Sunflower Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabgebfag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sabgebfag, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sabgebfag's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sabgebfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always store apples above ground.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Sabgebfag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not eat strawberries.

Govpodfly is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, clever aardvark.

Govpodfly created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Govpodfly, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Govpodfly, it will turn you into a rat.

Govpodfly's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Govpodfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Never stain your feet with pink.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive badger.

Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Komstipcar Fudquafdum Hitmilquim's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never allow sheep to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never run in the presence of elders.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Mitzentarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, strong centaur.

Mitzentarp created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mitzentarp, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Mitzentarp, it will destroy your favourite star.

Mitzentarp's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Mitzentarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near horses while wearing violet rings.