Ripvonksab Zanarfhog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, quiet whale.

Ripvonksab Zanarfhog created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripvonksab Zanarfhog, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ripvonksab Zanarfhog, it will be very unhappy.

Ripvonksab Zanarfhog's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ripvonksab Zanarfhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist balance.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Erect a giant black sculpture of Ripvonksab Zanarfhog in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

5. Hide from green sheep for they are unholy.

Zoddimlim is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful gnu.

Zoddimlim created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zoddimlim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zoddimlim, she will not care.

Zoddimlim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zoddimlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Never think about special relativity near dogs while wearing pink boots and balancing five titanium spheres on your face.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Zoddimlim loves mice, so they must be respected.

Catbetlakbus is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unthinking salamander.

Catbetlakbus created the Large Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catbetlakbus, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catbetlakbus, it will turn you into a puffin.

Catbetlakbus' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Catbetlakbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing cyan stockings and balancing five platinum spheres on your legs.

Saglipban is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, benevolent hyena.

Saglipban created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saglipban, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Saglipban, she will remove you from existence.

Saglipban's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Saglipban's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

5. Always help sick moths.

Tofdodsis is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, charitable raccoon.

Tofdodsis created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofdodsis, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tofdodsis, it will try to impress you with trees.

Tofdodsis' most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Tofdodsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about garlic.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofdodsis.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Do not place cherries upon stone.

5. Always remove shoes before touching carbon.

Fobsaghig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, sapient coyote.

Fobsaghig created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Fobsaghig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fobsaghig, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fobsaghig's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Fobsaghig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never skip near whales.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never remain kneeling at dusk.

5. Do not place limes upon stone.

Vilwegguplan is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, impressive raccoon.

Vilwegguplan created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vilwegguplan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vilwegguplan, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Vilwegguplan's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Vilwegguplan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

Dapdimven is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, unthoughtful dugong.

Dapdimven created the cosmos six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dapdimven, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dapdimven, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Dapdimven's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Dapdimven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Do not record secrets concerning dwarf planets.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must love Dapdimven.