Zednarlcarafraw is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omnipotent mouse.

Zednarlcarafraw created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zednarlcarafraw, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zednarlcarafraw, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zednarlcarafraw's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Zednarlcarafraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to rats while wearing violet jumpers.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must pray to Zednarlcarafraw six times a day.

Xinjonzak is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unjust cow.

Xinjonzak created life four million years ago.

If you believe in Xinjonzak, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinjonzak, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xinjonzak's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Xinjonzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse ash with water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear yellow corsets on sacred days.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

5. Rats are not to be trusted.

Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful mole.

Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab created the planet Mars six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gunbanarnvabfatfosscab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not record signs concerning stars.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

5. Always help hamsters.

Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, egotistical snail.

Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never mix beans with water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Madfasbonrutgedsterlegcub loves turtles, so they must be respected.

Budgetsad is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent hippopotamus.

Budgetsad created a strange quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Budgetsad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Budgetsad, she will be very unhappy.

Budgetsad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Budgetsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while tainted.

2. Budgetsad must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Budgetsad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.

Vabbabweg is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, idiotic whale.

Vabbabweg created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabbabweg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vabbabweg, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vabbabweg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vabbabweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges on holy days.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear shoes.

Lamnigfig is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, generous zebra.

Lamnigfig created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamnigfig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lamnigfig, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lamnigfig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lamnigfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow aardvarks to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never hop in the presence of horses.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never go into purple rooms.

Xucrutjoplab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying manatee.

Xucrutjoplab created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xucrutjoplab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xucrutjoplab, she will manifest in front of you.

Xucrutjoplab's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Xucrutjoplab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never discuss horizontal gene transfer in public assemblies.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xucrutjoplab.

5. Never mention nematodes.