Yarllakceb is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, impressive goose.

Yarllakceb created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarllakceb, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yarllakceb, he will turn you into a tree.

Yarllakceb's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yarllakceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Always maintain obedience during days of mourning.

5. Never hurt ducks.

Bifbisstarptadnel is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, loving aardvark.

Bifbisstarptadnel created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bifbisstarptadnel, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bifbisstarptadnel, it will turn you into a plant.

Bifbisstarptadnel's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Bifbisstarptadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never sprint in holy places.

3. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bifbisstarptadnel.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Zagfedgep is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, egotistical hyena.

Zagfedgep created the planet Venus nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagfedgep, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zagfedgep, it will come to you in dreams.

Zagfedgep's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Zagfedgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt grasshopers.

2. Never cross rivers at midday.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink alcohol.

Fetsigrat is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident raven.

Fetsigrat created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetsigrat, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetsigrat, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Fetsigrat's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fetsigrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Do not take Fetsigrat's name in vain.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

Taparf is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witless butterfly.

Taparf created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Taparf, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Taparf, it will turn you into a tree.

Taparf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Taparf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Do not record secrets concerning black holes.

4. Never cross crossroads at dusk.

5. Do not resist fate.

Cebpittin is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish deer.

Cebpittin created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebpittin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cebpittin, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Cebpittin's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Cebpittin's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix oranges with ash.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Feed all hungry porpoises.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never wear jumpers.

Bafdibnig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unfair mongoose.

Bafdibnig created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bafdibnig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bafdibnig, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bafdibnig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bafdibnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Pray towards the east.

Wothingilnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, ill-tempered zebra.

Wothingilnurl created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wothingilnurl, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Wothingilnurl, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Wothingilnurl's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Wothingilnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms blue.

2. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

3. Remain standing during prayer.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Always act with purity.