Daddannil is a god.

It takes the form of a small, boastful fox.

Daddannil created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Daddannil, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Daddannil, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Daddannil's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Daddannil's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from clay.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Worship no other gods but Daddannil.

Tarpgenmip is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, calm seal.

Tarpgenmip created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgenmip, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarpgenmip, he will come to you in dreams.

Tarpgenmip's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tarpgenmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ducks with great respect.

2. Hide if five bats approach from the north.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

Kontaffem is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, deceitful bat.

Kontaffem created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kontaffem, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kontaffem, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kontaffem's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Kontaffem's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry cats.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain camel.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Targwabboss Ortstafingrulquagbasttap's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the north during prayer.

2. Never pray while filled with anger.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

4. Never feed apples to tortoises while wearing shoes.

5. Do not fashion tools from copper.

Gonyogbog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witless jellyfish.

Gonyogbog created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonyogbog, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gonyogbog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gonyogbog's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Gonyogbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not eat parsnips.

3. Retreat if three capybaras approach from the east.

4. Never carve symbols of moons into wood.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.

Flabgupfas is a god.

It takes the form of a large, conceited finch.

Flabgupfas created the Sombrero Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgupfas, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Flabgupfas, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Flabgupfas' most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Flabgupfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with joy.

2. Do not keep four rats in a large pit.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never wear yellow shoes on sacred days.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Nurtsignur is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unsympathetic aardvark.

Nurtsignur created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsignur, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurtsignur, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Nurtsignur's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Nurtsignur's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtsignur.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never gather six turtles in one place.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never sing in the presence of elders.

Hitfitnell is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent gerbil.

Hitfitnell created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfitnell, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hitfitnell, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hitfitnell's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Hitfitnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must love Hitfitnell.