Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating finch.

Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint at forests.

2. Erect four silicon sculptures of Cepdobfod Bapbisslanbabbab on top of important buildings.

3. Never mention horses.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

5. Never allow moths to witness sacred rites.

Ontstangad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, merciful monkey.

Ontstangad created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Ontstangad, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Ontstangad, he will not invite you to parties.

Ontstangad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ontstangad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce at mountains.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Always act with patience when addressing priests.

5. Do not resist chaos.

Sis is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, intelligent swan.

Sis created dark energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sis, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sis, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sis' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Sis' Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Do not keep five swans in a large pit.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not sing at mountains.

Dumcumbag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, contented grasshopper.

Dumcumbag created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcumbag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dumcumbag, it will not care.

Dumcumbag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dumcumbag's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Never handle carbon while unclean.

3. Do not wear tin on your body.

4. Run away from black birds, for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill dolphins.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, witty wren.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Betnatminzakxucksigjarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Betnatminzakxucksigjarn, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

Hothotrill is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident deer.

Hothotrill created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hothotrill, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hothotrill, it will destroy your favourite star.

Hothotrill's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Hothotrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always remove scarves before touching zinc.

4. Run away from fawn monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Davflybeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, awe-inspiring rat.

Davflybeg created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Davflybeg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Davflybeg, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Davflybeg's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Davflybeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear blue clothing.

2. Worship no other gods but Davflybeg.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not hurt voles.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

Shavdimtim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful hare.

Shavdimtim created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavdimtim, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Shavdimtim, he will torture you forever.

Shavdimtim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Shavdimtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with mauve.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never wear orange shorts.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.