Farnhigfab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful lobster.

Farnhigfab created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnhigfab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Farnhigfab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Farnhigfab's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Farnhigfab's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with humility when addressing strangers.

2. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Farnhigfab.

5. Never gather nine cats near walls.

Flagbogpark is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, smart finch.

Flagbogpark created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagbogpark, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flagbogpark, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flagbogpark's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Flagbogpark's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the east.

3. Never handle gold while unclean.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

Lidingstik is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful eagle.

Lidingstik created a photon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lidingstik, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lidingstik, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Lidingstik's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lidingstik's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Lidingstik.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Always stare at clouds.

Duttafgut is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, fast fairy.

Duttafgut created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Duttafgut, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Duttafgut, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Duttafgut's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Duttafgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare garlic while wearing ear rings.

2. Hide if five tapirs approach from the south.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Duttafgut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never allow nematodes to witness sacred rites.

Sadzodxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, confident centaur.

Sadzodxuck created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadzodxuck, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sadzodxuck, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sadzodxuck's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sadzodxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt frogs.

2. Never record secrets.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never chant while facing west.

Lunbastgar is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented salamander.

Lunbastgar created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Lunbastgar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lunbastgar, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lunbastgar's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lunbastgar's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never think about spacetime near sheep while wearing black trousers and balancing seven gold spheres on your head.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed lots of cherries to doves while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Never mix melons with blood.

Bennuttcap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise dugong.

Bennuttcap created the Small Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bennuttcap, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bennuttcap, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bennuttcap's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bennuttcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Never prepare lemons during winter.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing red shirts.

Lipgathom Arm is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, intelligent goat.

Lipgathom Arm created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Lipgathom Arm, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lipgathom Arm, it will turn you into a worm.

Lipgathom Arm's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lipgathom Arm's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience when addressing children.

2. Never speak the names of nebulae aloud.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Do not prepare bread while wearing scarves.