Tifxenvan is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, effective pig.

Tifxenvan created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifxenvan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tifxenvan, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Tifxenvan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tifxenvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of gravity near sacred fires.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never point your hands toward the north during prayer.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Tifxenvan loves seals, so they must be respected.

Mapmadbid Guphommil is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish pigeon.

Mapmadbid Guphommil created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapmadbid Guphommil, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mapmadbid Guphommil, it will turn you into a mole.

Mapmadbid Guphommil's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Mapmadbid Guphommil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sharks.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Mapmadbid Guphommil loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

Vancinhim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, effective hydra.

Vancinhim created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vancinhim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vancinhim, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vancinhim's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Vancinhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick monkeys.

2. Always look after injured foxes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed rice to moths while wearing red boots.

5. Never handle carbon while unclean.

Sandyikvag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish clam.

Sandyikvag created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandyikvag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sandyikvag, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sandyikvag's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Sandyikvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear black kilts.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Do not step barefoot upon gray earth.

5. Always remove skirts before touching copper.

Gebpibgun is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, merciful meerkat.

Gebpibgun created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gebpibgun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebpibgun, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gebpibgun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Gebpibgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ants.

2. Do not kill birds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not prepare garlic while wearing shirts.

Rutthabdot is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, two-faced wyvern.

Rutthabdot created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutthabdot, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rutthabdot, it will not care at all.

Rutthabdot's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Rutthabdot's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five ducks approach from the east.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Rutthabdot loves otters, so they must be honoured.

4. Rutthabdot loves snails, so they must be respected.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, contented dingo.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Gebfundit Bessfonmut, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gebfundit Bessfonmut, it will turn you into a slug.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gebfundit Bessfonmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic lizard.

Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Damsatkapfossnigbitrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing blue kilts and balancing three lead spheres on your face.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never wear orange ear rings on sacred days.

5. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.