Gubquat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, weak meerkat.

Gubquat created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubquat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gubquat, she will remove you from existence.

Gubquat's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gubquat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always remove stockings before touching platinum.

3. Do not wear fawn clothing.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

Rillcissdonbemfatvan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awe-inspiring gorilla.

Rillcissdonbemfatvan created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rillcissdonbemfatvan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rillcissdonbemfatvan, she will remove you from existence.

Rillcissdonbemfatvan's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Rillcissdonbemfatvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to seals while wearing red stockings.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Never gather six grasshopers near wells.

5. Heed all portents.

Nurtvedfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, weak weasel.

Nurtvedfut created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvedfut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtvedfut, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Nurtvedfut's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nurtvedfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near gulls.

2. Always remove boots before touching nickel.

3. Do not take Nurtvedfut's name in vain.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.

Mobzencap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid salamander.

Mobzencap created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobzencap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mobzencap, it will laugh at you.

Mobzencap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Mobzencap's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of nebulae into wood.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

4. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.

5. Do not kill tapirs.

Betafgof is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, self-confident dryad.

Betafgof created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betafgof, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Betafgof, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Betafgof's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Betafgof's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured otters.

2. Never discuss enzymes in public assemblies.

3. Do not take Betafgof's name in vain.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Run away from purple dogs, for they are unholy.

Nartnabdan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered whale.

Nartnabdan created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nartnabdan, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nartnabdan, he will turn you into a sheep.

Nartnabdan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Nartnabdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix pineapples with blood.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

4. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

5. Always store rice above ground.

Quagflamlim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, strong pigeon.

Quagflamlim created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagflamlim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quagflamlim, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Quagflamlim's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quagflamlim's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Quagflamlim eight times a day.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

4. Never mark doors with fawn.

5. Never mention birds.

Hoghasyar is a god.

It takes the form of a small, prudent badger.

Hoghasyar created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghasyar, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hoghasyar, it will turn you into a mouse.

Hoghasyar's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hoghasyar's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Do not consume garlic at dawn.