Witmumlapkabbogfarvol is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, strong fly.

Witmumlapkabbogfarvol created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witmumlapkabbogfarvol, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Witmumlapkabbogfarvol, he will destroy your home solar system.

Witmumlapkabbogfarvol's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Witmumlapkabbogfarvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

4. Never gather five squirrels near walls.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Fubcudlit is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, stupid gorilla.

Fubcudlit created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubcudlit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fubcudlit, it will be mildly annoyed.

Fubcudlit's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fubcudlit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not prepare aubergines while wearing jumpers.

4. Never point your feet toward the north during prayer.

5. Do not gather at walls at midday.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, two-faced mongoose.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw created an up quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabgoffoss Wipraw, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mabgoffoss Wipraw, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mabgoffoss Wipraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never gather nine bats near walls.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Never remain standing at dusk.

5. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

Dimfigwab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, clever hydra.

Dimfigwab created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimfigwab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dimfigwab, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dimfigwab's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dimfigwab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing green shoes and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your hands.

3. Never touch oil while tainted.

4. Do not keep five swans in a large pit.

5. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, duplicitous dingo.

Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bafvaglarg Tifxemflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

2. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

3. Hide if four horses approach from the south.

4. Always share peas with strangers, but never with eagles.

5. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

Linnelgub is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, annoying ant.

Linnelgub created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Linnelgub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Linnelgub, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Linnelgub's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Linnelgub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Do not place peanuts upon stone.

3. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never stain your arms with fawn.

5. Never hurt dolphins.

Kemxucxen is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, loving frog.

Kemxucxen created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemxucxen, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kemxucxen, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kemxucxen's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Kemxucxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in summer.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Do not prepare cherries while filled with fear.

Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum is a god.

It takes the form of a large, self-confident grasshopper.

Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum, it will think nothing of it.

Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Zimdaddambag Hadjarndum's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse oil with water.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

4. Do not wear jumpers marked with blue.

5. Never mark doors with gray.