Pangxemhit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, loving dove.

Pangxemhit created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangxemhit, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pangxemhit, he will not care at all.

Pangxemhit's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Pangxemhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mice.

2. Do not prepare carrots while wearing kilts.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

4. Always maintain obedience during holy days.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

Tagtarglag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, kind human.

Tagtarglag created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagtarglag, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tagtarglag, it will curse you with boils.

Tagtarglag's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tagtarglag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from copper.

2. Never speak aloud of numbers.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Never record signs.

Nultabxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, contented yak.

Nultabxuck created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Nultabxuck, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Nultabxuck, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nultabxuck's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nultabxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

2. Never prepare carrots during autumn.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never handle silicon while unclean.

Somfitcid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident finch.

Somfitcid created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somfitcid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Somfitcid, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Somfitcid's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Somfitcid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Somfitcid in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not speak about beans.

Lungedfoss Yamratgen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unjust hydra.

Lungedfoss Yamratgen created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lungedfoss Yamratgen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lungedfoss Yamratgen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lungedfoss Yamratgen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Lungedfoss Yamratgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Put Lungedfoss Yamratgen first in all things.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Retreat if seven geese approach from the south.

Bessabgad is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, egotistical toad.

Bessabgad created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessabgad, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessabgad, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bessabgad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Bessabgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow tights.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always share limes with strangers, but never with badgers.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics near squirrels while wearing gray coats and balancing eight lead spheres on your hands.

5. Never allow moths to sleep beneath your roof.

Tomsangep is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, moody porpoise.

Tomsangep created silver three million years ago.

If you believe in Tomsangep, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tomsangep, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tomsangep's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tomsangep's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red trousers on sacred days.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Do not travel during winter.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

Femgamnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, fussy octopus.

Femgamnarl created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femgamnarl, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Femgamnarl, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Femgamnarl's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Femgamnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not place lemons upon stone.

3. Do not consume garlic at dawn.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never play with disobedient children.