Teenrak is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, slow skunk.

Teenrak created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Teenrak, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Teenrak, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Teenrak's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Teenrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near bats.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing purple boots and balancing six nickel spheres on your legs.

4. Do not prepare oranges while filled with anger.

5. Never allow rats to sleep beneath your roof.

Binnabkon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish jackal.

Binnabkon created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Binnabkon, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Binnabkon, she will manifest in front of you.

Binnabkon's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Binnabkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow great tits to witness sacred rites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Binnabkon.

3. Pray only in darkness.

4. Run away from green frogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory.

Pomfetgun is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, selfish shark.

Pomfetgun created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pomfetgun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Pomfetgun, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Pomfetgun's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pomfetgun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod is a god.

He takes the form of a large, fast raven.

Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod, he will destroy your favourite star.

Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Natquafbug Listkadlop Bosspagdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

2. Never allow mice to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never feed rice to voles while wearing hats.

5. Never pray while filled with fear.

Onttenrip is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental duck.

Onttenrip created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Onttenrip, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Onttenrip, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Onttenrip's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Onttenrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix tomatoes with water.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect seven silver sculptures of Onttenrip on top of important buildings.

4. Never speak the names of galaxies aloud.

5. Never cross mountains at midnight.

Wanbestnell Bessingrill is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, sapient hamster.

Wanbestnell Bessingrill created the planet Venus twelve years ago.

If you believe in Wanbestnell Bessingrill, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wanbestnell Bessingrill, he will boil you in a big pot.

Wanbestnell Bessingrill's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Wanbestnell Bessingrill's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Never mark doors with blue.

5. Never go into white rooms.

Tifdanfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, two-faced mole.

Tifdanfarn created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifdanfarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tifdanfarn, she will not invite you to parties.

Tifdanfarn's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Tifdanfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tortoises.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

5. Always remove tights before entering holy places.

Vanhinfod is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ruthless wasp.

Vanhinfod created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vanhinfod, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vanhinfod, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vanhinfod's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Vanhinfod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five mites approach from the west.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never handle iron while unclean.

5. Never eat gooseberries.