Cadsasarn is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain cat.

Cadsasarn created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadsasarn, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cadsasarn, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cadsasarn's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Cadsasarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near manatees while wearing pink ear rings and balancing three copper spheres on your back.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Cadsasarn in the centre of the settlement.

Linrutnib is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, narcissistic coyote.

Linrutnib created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linrutnib, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Linrutnib, she will turn you into a dog.

Linrutnib's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Linrutnib's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red shrews for they are unholy.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near manatees while wearing white shorts and balancing six titanium spheres on your hands.

3. Never wear brown coats on sacred days.

4. Never hurt squirrels.

5. Fast once a month.

Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, smart manatee.

Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tunbedgid Loopnullfitfomgudrothugtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Run away if five mites approach from the west.

Jonjigquim is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy dingo.

Jonjigquim created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjigquim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jonjigquim, she will turn you into a tree.

Jonjigquim's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Jonjigquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of manatees.

2. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

3. Always act with humility when addressing elders.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.

Tafnurtlat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty centipede.

Tafnurtlat created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafnurtlat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tafnurtlat, it will turn you into a sheep.

Tafnurtlat's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tafnurtlat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not record signs concerning comets.

4. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

5. Retreat if three sheep approach from the east.

Fabbansugxen is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awesome gnu.

Fabbansugxen created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Fabbansugxen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fabbansugxen, he will turn you into a frog.

Fabbansugxen's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Fabbansugxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching titanium.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never speak of fate in the presence of elders.

Zodgepmon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, vain porpoise.

Zodgepmon created the Sun two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgepmon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zodgepmon, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Zodgepmon's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Zodgepmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of parsnips to gulls while wearing gray dresses.

2. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

3. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Zodgepmon on top of all buildings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zodgepmon.

Madhattarg Jigbodbud is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, quiet wolf.

Madhattarg Jigbodbud created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Madhattarg Jigbodbud, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Madhattarg Jigbodbud, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Madhattarg Jigbodbud's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Madhattarg Jigbodbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss photosynthesis in public assemblies.

2. Do not speak about wheat.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Madhattarg Jigbodbud in the centre of the settlement.