Femgabran is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, quiet mink.

Femgabran created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Femgabran, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Femgabran, it will curse you with boils.

Femgabran's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Femgabran's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never sprint in the presence of gulls.

4. Never eat tomatoes on days of mourning.

5. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

Yarpfaddag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish ant.

Yarpfaddag created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfaddag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarpfaddag, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yarpfaddag's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Yarpfaddag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Never jump near sheep.

Fubdudgub Legyoghog is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair slug.

Fubdudgub Legyoghog created the Cigar Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubdudgub Legyoghog, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fubdudgub Legyoghog, he will refuse to believe in you.

Fubdudgub Legyoghog's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fubdudgub Legyoghog's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Always maintain humility during holy days.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Do not prepare gooseberries while filled with anger.

Barngidjad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unfair camel.

Barngidjad created gold three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barngidjad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Barngidjad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Barngidjad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Barngidjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Erect four lead sculptures of Barngidjad on top of important buildings.

Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless goat.

Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod, it will manifest in front of you.

Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ingjabquatdusstenmipfod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching silver.

5. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

Cudgudtadsug is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish centipede.

Cudgudtadsug created an electron four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudgudtadsug, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cudgudtadsug, she will ignore you.

Cudgudtadsug's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Cudgudtadsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about spinach.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Do not hurt birds.

Fodveenrow is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane frog.

Fodveenrow created the solar system six million years ago.

If you believe in Fodveenrow, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fodveenrow, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fodveenrow's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Fodveenrow's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not record names concerning dwarf planets.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fodveenrow.

5. Never look at black holes.

Garfotgum is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful jellyfish.

Garfotgum created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garfotgum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Garfotgum, he will torture you forever.

Garfotgum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Garfotgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always share melons with strangers, but never with moths.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.