Pangjatcumhivced is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, blissful goblin.

Pangjatcumhivced created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangjatcumhivced, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pangjatcumhivced, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pangjatcumhivced's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Pangjatcumhivced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always store nuts above ground.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always count to five before sleeping.

Gedveenjanhot is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, temperamental hyena.

Gedveenjanhot created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Gedveenjanhot, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gedveenjanhot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gedveenjanhot's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gedveenjanhot's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove jumpers before entering holy places.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near sharks while wearing mauve rings.

4. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

Talhoghom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, passionate faun.

Talhoghom created the Sunflower Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talhoghom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Talhoghom, he will not care.

Talhoghom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Talhoghom's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Never allow frogs to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

Cembadvil is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, caring hamster.

Cembadvil created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cembadvil, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cembadvil, he will not care at all.

Cembadvil's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Cembadvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always share wheat with strangers, but never with mice.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not place rice upon stone.

4. Never gather five dogs in one place.

5. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.

Ratbaggamwon is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, prudent manatee.

Ratbaggamwon created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ratbaggamwon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Ratbaggamwon, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ratbaggamwon's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Ratbaggamwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ratbaggamwon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always remove shorts before touching lead.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never mix lentils with blood.

Catkarkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, humane giraffe.

Catkarkon created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Catkarkon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Catkarkon, she will turn you into a slug.

Catkarkon's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Catkarkon's Holy Commandments

1. Always check lakes for frogs.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never feed cherries to foxes while wearing kilts.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Always remove shirts before touching silicon.

Arpyathak is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, stupid wren.

Arpyathak created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpyathak, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Arpyathak, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Arpyathak's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Arpyathak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

5. Never paint your neck blue.

Bepkimveg is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fast snail.

Bepkimveg created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepkimveg, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepkimveg, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bepkimveg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Bepkimveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black dresses.

2. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

3. Bepkimveg loves geese, so they must be respected.

4. Always cleanse oil with water.

5. Do not cook food in pots.