Misnullfeb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy bear.

Misnullfeb created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Misnullfeb, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Misnullfeb, she will remove you from existence.

Misnullfeb's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Misnullfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near mice while wearing purple boots and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

2. Always remove hats before entering holy places.

3. Never record signs.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Nadkamfem is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental jellyfish.

Nadkamfem created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nadkamfem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nadkamfem, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Nadkamfem's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Nadkamfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear indigo.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never feed lots of cucumbers to whales while wearing black tights.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about gravity near dogs while wearing mauve ear rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your hands.

Veencipzod is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, egotistical scorpion.

Veencipzod created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veencipzod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Veencipzod, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Veencipzod's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Veencipzod's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in moonlight.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate goats.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Always wash your hands before prayer.

5. Never pour water over plants.

Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, competent bird.

Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never adorn your chest with yellow markings.

3. Erect three lead sculptures of Latzagyarcapcetxemlanrap on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Hide if seven turtles approach from the west.

Rowbompog is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, tranquil bee.

Rowbompog created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowbompog, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rowbompog, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rowbompog's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Rowbompog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rowbompog.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Never jump near whales.

Arfsidarntetti is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident wyvern.

Arfsidarntetti created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfsidarntetti, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arfsidarntetti, she will turn you into a goat.

Arfsidarntetti's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Arfsidarntetti's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Never hop in summer.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Arfsidarntetti on top of all buildings.

4. Never mix nuts with oil.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Carlakquim is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, almighty sheep.

Carlakquim created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carlakquim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Carlakquim, he will turn you into a puffin.

Carlakquim's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Carlakquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Run away from pink turtles, for they are unholy.

5. Do not hop in public.

Wodfitxem is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy fish.

Wodfitxem created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wodfitxem, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wodfitxem, she will turn you into a rat.

Wodfitxem's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Wodfitxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Do not take Wodfitxem's name in vain.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.