Appdaplenbagnarlnab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing weasel.

Appdaplenbagnarlnab created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appdaplenbagnarlnab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Appdaplenbagnarlnab, it will be mildly annoyed.

Appdaplenbagnarlnab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Appdaplenbagnarlnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bananas while filled with pride.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Never wear white jumpers.

Abstanpom is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish badger.

Abstanpom created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Abstanpom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Abstanpom, she will curse you with boils.

Abstanpom's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Abstanpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Abstanpom's priests.

2. Never record signs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not place spinach upon stone.

Parkfenten is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, contented fly.

Parkfenten created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Parkfenten, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Parkfenten, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Parkfenten's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Parkfenten's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips on holy days.

2. Always store aubergines above ground.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Never touch ash while tainted.

5. Always help pigs in need.

Jadhenyog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional ferret.

Jadhenyog created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Jadhenyog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jadhenyog, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jadhenyog's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jadhenyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Never run in the presence of elders.

Sinsafwot is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, quiet gerbil.

Sinsafwot created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinsafwot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sinsafwot, he will jump up and down on your head.

Sinsafwot's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Sinsafwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Always help bats.

3. Always wash your hands before prayer.

4. Sinsafwot loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Never leap in the presence of elders.

Bellsafsis is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unjust capybara.

Bellsafsis created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Bellsafsis, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bellsafsis, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bellsafsis' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bellsafsis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Always obey Bellsafsis' priests.

3. You must love Bellsafsis.

4. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

5. Never gather four dolphins near towers.

Bumlamqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, self-assured wolf.

Bumlamqueeg created the Milkyway five million years ago.

If you believe in Bumlamqueeg, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bumlamqueeg, it will boil you in a big pot.

Bumlamqueeg's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bumlamqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never gather three goats near doors.

4. Never touch oil while clean.

5. Bumlamqueeg loves whales, so they must be respected.

Stangesstip is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, blissful unicorn.

Stangesstip created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stangesstip, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Stangesstip, it will be very sad.

Stangesstip's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Stangesstip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.