Flabflaplap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, slow dragon.

Flabflaplap created Africa two years ago.

If you believe in Flabflaplap, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flabflaplap, she will turn you into a slug.

Flabflaplap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Flabflaplap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place bread upon stone.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

Teenlikfabbed is a god.

It takes the form of a large, pitiless swan.

Teenlikfabbed created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenlikfabbed, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Teenlikfabbed, it will turn you into a dog.

Teenlikfabbed's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Teenlikfabbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never approach rivers carrying stone.

3. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

4. Never allow tortoises to witness sacred rites.

5. Never eat bark.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring weasel.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Gofmitsafstigbissjig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gofmitsafstigbissjig, it will send you a sign.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gofmitsafstigbissjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your legs with mauve.

2. Gofmitsafstigbissjig loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never feed nuts to tapirs while wearing gray tights.

4. Shun those given to vanity.

5. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

Wabduttik is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, uncaring guinea pig.

Wabduttik created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabduttik, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wabduttik, it will not care.

Wabduttik's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Wabduttik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Wabduttik on top of important buildings.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Never fashion tools from stone.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Wabduttik in the centre of the settlement.

Sugzigsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a small, benevolent raccoon.

Sugzigsaw created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Sugzigsaw, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sugzigsaw, it will be very sad.

Sugzigsaw's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Sugzigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.

2. Never mention snakes.

3. Never mark doors with turquoise.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about cell theory.

Hudfidlunbin is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, weak weasel.

Hudfidlunbin created the Virgo Supercluster eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hudfidlunbin, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hudfidlunbin, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hudfidlunbin's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hudfidlunbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

2. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

3. Do not contemplate the strong nuclear force during the night.

4. Never feed peas to goats while wearing stockings.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.

Rutcapfar is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless hippopotamus.

Rutcapfar created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutcapfar, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Rutcapfar, he will destroy your home solar system.

Rutcapfar's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Rutcapfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Do not kill mice.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

Yimdiblatzogwad is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-assured crane.

Yimdiblatzogwad created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimdiblatzogwad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yimdiblatzogwad, it will destroy your home solar system.

Yimdiblatzogwad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yimdiblatzogwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick horses.

2. Do not fashion tools from silver.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Never handle lead while unclean.