Dumcebdub Jattifgid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, smart unicorn.

Dumcebdub Jattifgid created an electron three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumcebdub Jattifgid, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dumcebdub Jattifgid, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Dumcebdub Jattifgid's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Dumcebdub Jattifgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with joy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dumcebdub Jattifgid.

4. Never point your head toward the west during prayer.

5. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

Garcabkandib is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, merciless rat.

Garcabkandib created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Garcabkandib, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Garcabkandib, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Garcabkandib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Garcabkandib's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Garcabkandib in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not kill whales.

3. Do not name children after rats.

4. Always share beans with strangers, but never with geese.

5. Never write about special relativity.

Dogkapkam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident jellyfish.

Dogkapkam created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogkapkam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dogkapkam, she will turn you into a frog.

Dogkapkam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dogkapkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear kilts marked with mauve.

2. Never point your back toward the south during prayer.

3. Never think about electromagnetism.

4. Never pray while filled with pride.

5. Pray towards the east.

Zenwotcat is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, idiotic dragonfly.

Zenwotcat created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenwotcat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zenwotcat, he will manifest in front of you.

Zenwotcat's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Zenwotcat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never travel toward the east during spring.

4. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, competent beaver.

Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof, it will be very sad.

Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fligontsag Jop Ratdodgof's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

3. Never eat spinach on fasting days.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

Gubsitfub is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, humorless wyvern.

Gubsitfub created parasitic wasps three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubsitfub, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gubsitfub, it will turn you into a puffin.

Gubsitfub's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gubsitfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never record names.

2. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

3. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

4. Erect six silicon sculptures of Gubsitfub on top of important buildings.

5. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

Futpidmip is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-assured shrew.

Futpidmip created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futpidmip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Futpidmip, she will turn you into a frog.

Futpidmip's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Futpidmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Futpidmip's name in vain.

2. Do not prepare peas while filled with fear.

3. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.

4. Never talk about spacetime near squirrels while wearing gray corsets and balancing four copper spheres on your arms.

5. Never touch water while blessed.

Fitwipcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty grasshopper.

Fitwipcuss created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitwipcuss, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fitwipcuss, he will strike you with lightening.

Fitwipcuss' most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fitwipcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Snails are not to be trusted.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

3. Fitwipcuss loves seals, so they must be respected.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.