Butnartcisshitmig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing elephant.

Butnartcisshitmig created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butnartcisshitmig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Butnartcisshitmig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Butnartcisshitmig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Butnartcisshitmig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of the weak nuclear force near sacred fires.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never gather five goats near walls.

4. Run away if four dogs approach from the west.

5. Never wear scarves.

Gidquilldab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise hamster.

Gidquilldab created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidquilldab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gidquilldab, he will turn you into a rock.

Gidquilldab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Gidquilldab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gidquilldab.

5. Do not commit murder.

Benrillgum is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, all-knowing skunk.

Benrillgum created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Benrillgum, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Benrillgum, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Benrillgum's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Benrillgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not keep three badgers in a large pit.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

Venrillgun is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, clever zebra.

Venrillgun created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venrillgun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Venrillgun, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Venrillgun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Venrillgun's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat doves with great respect.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

Negquimflag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, moody grasshopper.

Negquimflag created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Negquimflag, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Negquimflag, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Negquimflag's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Negquimflag's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with red.

2. Never pray while filled with fear.

3. Do not wear shirts marked with gray.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Sandubpark is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, blissful hedgehog.

Sandubpark created the Andromeda Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Sandubpark, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sandubpark, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sandubpark's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Sandubpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your head pink.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Never prepare spinach during summer.

4. Always act with obedience.

5. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

Honquagmeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciless crow.

Honquagmeg created vertebrates twelve years ago.

If you believe in Honquagmeg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Honquagmeg, it will be mildly annoyed.

Honquagmeg's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Honquagmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Do not keep four voles in a large pit.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Hadstipken is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, cheerful zebra.

Hadstipken created the Virgo Supercluster six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadstipken, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hadstipken, he will turn you into a dog.

Hadstipken's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hadstipken's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

2. Hadstipken must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Foxes are not to be trusted.

4. Never bounce near voles.

5. Do not wear skirts marked with orange.