Futhinvil is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust parrot.

Futhinvil created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futhinvil, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Futhinvil, it will turn you into a tree.

Futhinvil's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Futhinvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not consume oranges at dawn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always count to three before sleeping.

5. Worship no other gods but Futhinvil.

Gumminfengud is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ruthless shrew.

Gumminfengud created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumminfengud, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gumminfengud, it will strike you with lightening.

Gumminfengud's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gumminfengud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with fear.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

5. Do not make images of living things.

Bogmatdotcumleg is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unthoughtful jackal.

Bogmatdotcumleg created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Bogmatdotcumleg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bogmatdotcumleg, it will be very unhappy.

Bogmatdotcumleg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Bogmatdotcumleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

2. Hide if six aardvarks approach from the east.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Never jump in the presence of elders.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Pomjabmet is a god.

It takes the form of a large, calm capybara.

Pomjabmet created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pomjabmet, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pomjabmet, it will not invite you to parties.

Pomjabmet's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pomjabmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong dingo.

Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom, he will destroy your home solar system.

Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vidwegweg Bellfendid Bumgom's priests.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

4. Always count to seven before sleeping.

5. Do not chop down trees.

Fottargfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, vain aardvark.

Fottargfon created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fottargfon, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fottargfon, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fottargfon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fottargfon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three foxes approach from the north.

2. Never speak the names of planets aloud.

3. Do not gather at bridges at dusk.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always count to six before sleeping.

Teentarghak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, ill-tempered pig.

Teentarghak created a top quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teentarghak, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teentarghak, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Teentarghak's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Teentarghak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of priests.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Never gather three grasshopers near wells.

4. Do not eat oranges.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

Vanvilnull is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, overgenerous snake.

Vanvilnull created the solar system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanvilnull, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vanvilnull, she will turn you into a rock.

Vanvilnull's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vanvilnull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Never hop in summer.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.