Arnyam is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate weasel.

Arnyam created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arnyam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Arnyam, she will refuse to believe in you.

Arnyam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Arnyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching silver.

2. Never cross mountains at midnight.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. You must pray to Arnyam six times a day.

Bemfarnfar is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, happy chicken.

Bemfarnfar created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bemfarnfar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bemfarnfar, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bemfarnfar's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bemfarnfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

3. Retreat if six eagles approach from the west.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Bemfarnfar on top of all buildings.

Dissgessfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, deceitful wren.

Dissgessfat created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Dissgessfat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dissgessfat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Dissgessfat's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Dissgessfat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dissgessfat.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Put Dissgessfat first in all things.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never look in ponds.

Yokbenkin is a god.

She takes the form of a large, capable fish.

Yokbenkin created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Yokbenkin, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yokbenkin, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Yokbenkin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Yokbenkin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Yokbenkin in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Yokbenkin loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

5. Remain standing during prayer.

Largnibster is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, narcissistic lizard.

Largnibster created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Largnibster, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Largnibster, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Largnibster's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Largnibster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Do not record numbers concerning asteroids.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never hurt manatees.

Kimdissneg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, prudent beaver.

Kimdissneg created an atom three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimdissneg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kimdissneg, she will turn you into a hamster.

Kimdissneg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Kimdissneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

2. Always treat birds with great respect.

3. Never speak at dusk.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

Yartwonlist is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, flying giraffe.

Yartwonlist created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Yartwonlist, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartwonlist, it will be very unhappy.

Yartwonlist's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Yartwonlist's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yartwonlist.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Do not name children after frogs.

4. Never allow doves to witness sacred rites.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.

Flamkadtab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain wasp.

Flamkadtab created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flamkadtab, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flamkadtab, it will think nothing of it.

Flamkadtab's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Flamkadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flamkadtab.

5. Never feed turnips to tortoises while wearing yellow skirts.