Sadkadyamdossjam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unjust otter.

Sadkadyamdossjam created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sadkadyamdossjam, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sadkadyamdossjam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sadkadyamdossjam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Sadkadyamdossjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear trousers marked with yellow.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Hide if eight hamsters approach from the north.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

Motkipwip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, grumpy dingo.

Motkipwip created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Motkipwip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Motkipwip, she will curse you with boils.

Motkipwip's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Motkipwip's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.

Sterflanhun is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, almighty giraffe.

Sterflanhun created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterflanhun, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Sterflanhun, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sterflanhun's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sterflanhun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Sterflanhun loves moths, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about chromosomes.

Fomdossboss is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered hummingbird.

Fomdossboss created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fomdossboss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fomdossboss, it will turn you into a sheep.

Fomdossboss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Fomdossboss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear purple ear rings on sacred days.

3. Fomdossboss must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing kilts.

5. Do not wear rings marked with fawn.

Parkhonvinpas is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, tranquil bat.

Parkhonvinpas created the Large Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkhonvinpas, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Parkhonvinpas, it will come to you in dreams.

Parkhonvinpas' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Parkhonvinpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Always share oranges with strangers, but never with moths.

3. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

4. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.

Flamnadcun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, tiresome gnu.

Flamnadcun created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamnadcun, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flamnadcun, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Flamnadcun's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Flamnadcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always store aubergines above ground.

2. Do not fashion tools from iron.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Flamnadcun in the centre of the settlement.

Negcithatwip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, benevolent toad.

Negcithatwip created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negcithatwip, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Negcithatwip, he will turn you into a worm.

Negcithatwip's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Negcithatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Put Negcithatwip first in all things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not dye your hair red.

5. Never gather eight moths in one place.

Nartbidlun is a god.

She takes the form of a large, egotistical hummingbird.

Nartbidlun created the planet Saturn nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartbidlun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nartbidlun, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nartbidlun's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Nartbidlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nartbidlun.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.