Tombarnyokomt is a god.

He takes the form of a large, almighty warg.

Tombarnyokomt created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tombarnyokomt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tombarnyokomt, he will not care.

Tombarnyokomt's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tombarnyokomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch water while blessed.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Never think about optics near swans while wearing fawn corsets and balancing seven silicon spheres on your hands.

Fubnargebdun is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, wise fish.

Fubnargebdun created water nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubnargebdun, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fubnargebdun, it will curse you with boils.

Fubnargebdun's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fubnargebdun's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to six before sleeping.

2. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

3. Never sit in the presence of elders.

4. Never think about spacetime near manatees while wearing mauve boots and balancing five aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Do not commit murder.

Linsogvil is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless troll.

Linsogvil created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linsogvil, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linsogvil, she will think nothing of it.

Linsogvil's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Linsogvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear stockings.

Futrotget is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast shark.

Futrotget created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futrotget, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Futrotget, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Futrotget's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Futrotget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Worship no other gods but Futrotget.

Gunwighun is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, flying fox.

Gunwighun created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunwighun, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gunwighun, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gunwighun's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Gunwighun's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never allow swans to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never cross forests at midday.

4. Always share carrots with strangers, but never with voles.

5. Never look at asteroids.

Motdanquim is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, able raccoon.

Motdanquim created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motdanquim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Motdanquim, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Motdanquim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Motdanquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.

Bet is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless rat.

Bet created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bet, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bet, it will not invite you to parties.

Bet's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Bet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. You must love Bet.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if six moths approach from the east.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

Busvogbag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, competent alligator.

Busvogbag created the Tadpole Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Busvogbag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Busvogbag, it will torture you forever.

Busvogbag's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Busvogbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always store lemons above ground.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Never remain bowed at dawn.

5. Never mark doors with blue.