Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, strong clam.

Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yakyogjammishasflatmut Begweedun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dogs.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Do not sit at mountains.

Gepgungil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating fox.

Gepgungil created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgungil, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gepgungil, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gepgungil's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Gepgungil's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Hide from pink sharks for they are unholy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

5. Do not stand on grass.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow deer.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam created time and space nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam, it will not invite you to parties.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dogquamarpomttitgedjattam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.

Fodzag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, deceitful centipede.

Fodzag created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Fodzag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fodzag, she will think nothing of it.

Fodzag's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fodzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always cleanse blood with water.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not place rice upon stone.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

Cadweenat is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless guinea pig.

Cadweenat created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadweenat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cadweenat, he will turn you into a dog.

Cadweenat's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cadweenat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never gather six badgers near wells.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never write about nebulae.

Haddussteen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest skunk.

Haddussteen created the Sunflower Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haddussteen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Haddussteen, she will be very unhappy.

Haddussteen's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Haddussteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt birds.

2. Never think about gravity near foxes while wearing indigo shirts and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never write about cell theory.

Rakkikvid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonest fairy.

Rakkikvid created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakkikvid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rakkikvid, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Rakkikvid's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Rakkikvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Worship no other gods but Rakkikvid.

3. Do not keep five squirrels in a large pit.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never talk about fire.

Pinrenvengum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical crocodile.

Pinrenvengum created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinrenvengum, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Pinrenvengum, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Pinrenvengum's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Pinrenvengum's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Pinrenvengum in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never gather three manatees in one place.

5. Always store rice above ground.