Gatwigtail is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, passionate warg.

Gatwigtail created viruses seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatwigtail, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gatwigtail, she will destroy your favourite star.

Gatwigtail's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gatwigtail's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing gray skirts and balancing four silicon spheres on your back.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.