Cunxuckyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, strong lobster.

Cunxuckyarp created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunxuckyarp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cunxuckyarp, she will be very sad.

Cunxuckyarp's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Cunxuckyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.