Omtmonhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless crow.

Omtmonhiv created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtmonhiv, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtmonhiv, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Omtmonhiv's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Omtmonhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about cucumbers.

4. Omtmonhiv loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed gooseberries to goats while wearing jumpers.