Jonnelsabhotkimmil is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, proud warg.

Jonnelsabhotkimmil created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonnelsabhotkimmil, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonnelsabhotkimmil, it will make you grow a tail.

Jonnelsabhotkimmil's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Jonnelsabhotkimmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never discuss bacteria in public assemblies.

2. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Do not name children after sharks.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jonnelsabhotkimmil.