Cadbummeg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless clam.

Cadbummeg created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadbummeg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cadbummeg, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cadbummeg's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Cadbummeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always help rats.

3. Never wear black dresses.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always take life seriously.