Lopjamdog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy fairy.

Lopjamdog created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopjamdog, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lopjamdog, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lopjamdog's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Lopjamdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Lopjamdog in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics.