Tapbafbep is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, flying penguin.

Tapbafbep created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tapbafbep, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tapbafbep, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tapbafbep's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tapbafbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always obey Tapbafbep's priests.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not prepare grapes while wearing corsets.