Hadbessjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, egotistical shark.

Hadbessjarn created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadbessjarn, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hadbessjarn, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hadbessjarn's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Hadbessjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always help badgers.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Retreat if four sharks approach from the south.

5. Pray towards the north.