Titgep is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, selfish centaur.

Titgep created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titgep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Titgep, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Titgep's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Titgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Put Titgep first in all things.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Do not shave your head.