Luncimvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome grasshopper.

Luncimvonk created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Luncimvonk, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Luncimvonk, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Luncimvonk's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Luncimvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear kilts.

2. Never jump in the presence of elders.

3. You must never eat strawberries.

4. Always share rice with strangers, but never with tapirs.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching nickel.