Cetbessmil is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, caring guinea pig.

Cetbessmil created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbessmil, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cetbessmil, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Cetbessmil's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Cetbessmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Always look after injured geese.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.