Gab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered centaur.

Gab created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Gab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Gab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed nuts to snails while wearing purple rings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.