Batstipnurl Cidnellsin is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, stupid armadillo.

Batstipnurl Cidnellsin created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Batstipnurl Cidnellsin, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batstipnurl Cidnellsin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Batstipnurl Cidnellsin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Batstipnurl Cidnellsin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Always obey Batstipnurl Cidnellsin's priests.

5. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.