Bustarpkam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, self-confident parrot.

Bustarpkam created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bustarpkam, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Bustarpkam, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bustarpkam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Bustarpkam's Holy Commandments

1. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with great tits.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.