Kemmonlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, passionate mouse.

Kemmonlarn created life four years ago.

If you believe in Kemmonlarn, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kemmonlarn, she will be very sad.

Kemmonlarn's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kemmonlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick swans.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never feed nuts to turtles while wearing pink rings.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Kemmonlarn loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.