Shavstragzog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate chicken.

Shavstragzog created Asia eight million years ago.

If you believe in Shavstragzog, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Shavstragzog, he will turn you into a tree.

Shavstragzog's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Shavstragzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat bark.