Jigtanlandub is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, clever dugong.

Jigtanlandub created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jigtanlandub, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jigtanlandub, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jigtanlandub's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Jigtanlandub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jigtanlandub's name in vain.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Put Jigtanlandub first in all things.

5. Do not shave your hands.