Xucbombeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest swan.

Xucbombeg created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucbombeg, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xucbombeg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Xucbombeg's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Xucbombeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never mark doors with mauve.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Pray only in darkness.

5. Do not prepare carrots while wearing shirts.