Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, confident duck.

Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Do not bounce at mountains.

5. Bossbopmat Jip Larpbessbus loves moths, so they must be honoured.