Tonrilgad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, able mongoose.

Tonrilgad created the universe nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonrilgad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tonrilgad, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tonrilgad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tonrilgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Never touch ash while clean.

3. Always act with purity when addressing children.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.