Hamtintamrag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, wise ferret.

Hamtintamrag created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamtintamrag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hamtintamrag, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Hamtintamrag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hamtintamrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think ill of sick squirrels.