Homviljam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, selfish ferret.

Homviljam created a bottom quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homviljam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Homviljam, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Homviljam's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Homviljam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Homviljam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not take Homviljam's name in vain.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.