Disstanrenpark is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, pitiless dingo.

Disstanrenpark created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Disstanrenpark, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Disstanrenpark, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Disstanrenpark's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Disstanrenpark's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Disstanrenpark.

3. Never talk about gravity near whales while wearing black hats and balancing nine gold spheres on your feet.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always take life seriously.