Kenzigrip is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, impressive hippopotamus.

Kenzigrip created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kenzigrip, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kenzigrip, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kenzigrip's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kenzigrip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Kenzigrip on top of all buildings.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Never wear dresses.