Bitzogjig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic fox.

Bitzogjig created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitzogjig, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bitzogjig, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bitzogjig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bitzogjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never write about nebulae.