Bogtalhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unselfish mole.

Bogtalhiv created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogtalhiv, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bogtalhiv, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogtalhiv's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bogtalhiv's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bogtalhiv seven times a day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not take Bogtalhiv's name in vain.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.