Dantarparpwip is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, charitable walrus.

Dantarparpwip created matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Dantarparpwip, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dantarparpwip, she will make you grow a tail.

Dantarparpwip's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Dantarparpwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must pray to Dantarparpwip seven times a day.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.