Nutlipcim is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome rat.

Nutlipcim created the planet Venus seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutlipcim, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nutlipcim, it will cry a lot.

Nutlipcim's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Nutlipcim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always help mites.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Always pray immersed in water.