Mabhotlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident snake.

Mabhotlarp created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabhotlarp, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mabhotlarp, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mabhotlarp's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mabhotlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help pigs.