Cubhivbet is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, able snake.

Cubhivbet created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cubhivbet, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cubhivbet, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cubhivbet's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cubhivbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your legs with brown markings.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Do not wear skirts marked with cyan.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing purple trousers and balancing four titanium spheres on your face.

5. Do not speak sacred words in spring.