Kopzanved is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest squirrel.

Kopzanved created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Kopzanved, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kopzanved, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Kopzanved's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Kopzanved's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Always obey Kopzanved's priests.