Dutguncap Nakrigrap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, cheerful monkey.

Dutguncap Nakrigrap created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dutguncap Nakrigrap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dutguncap Nakrigrap, she will send you a sign.

Dutguncap Nakrigrap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Dutguncap Nakrigrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of seals.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Dutguncap Nakrigrap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.