Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional camel.

Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bestgubgen Gessvedbaf Man's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.