Tailrotben is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciless mole.

Tailrotben created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailrotben, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tailrotben, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tailrotben's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Tailrotben's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Put Tailrotben first in all things.

5. Hide if six foxes approach from the east.