Armshavcin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, staggering raccoon.

Armshavcin created an electron three billion years ago.

If you believe in Armshavcin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Armshavcin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Armshavcin's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Armshavcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Worship no other gods but Armshavcin.

3. Shrews are not to be trusted.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat carrots.