Mapnaryarsan is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart hyena.

Mapnaryarsan created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mapnaryarsan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mapnaryarsan, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Mapnaryarsan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Mapnaryarsan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never mention geese.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Feed all hungry manatees.

5. Run away from green sheep, for they are unholy.