Bamdidjan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, stupid dove.

Bamdidjan created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Bamdidjan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bamdidjan, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bamdidjan's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bamdidjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never wear mauve jumpers.

3. Put Bamdidjan first in all things.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Always look after injured snails.