Poncubnan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, slow giraffe.

Poncubnan created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Poncubnan, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Poncubnan, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Poncubnan's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Poncubnan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Poncubnan five times a day.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Retreat if three snails approach from the north.

5. You must love Poncubnan.