Figfarshav is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, quiet weasel.

Figfarshav created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Figfarshav, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Figfarshav, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Figfarshav's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Figfarshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not speak about cherries.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near cats while wearing purple stockings and balancing six silver spheres on your head.

5. Never think about asteroids.