Hubcamcad is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, stupid crab.

Hubcamcad created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubcamcad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hubcamcad, he will ignore you.

Hubcamcad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Hubcamcad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hubcamcad.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Birds are not to be trusted.

4. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the west.

5. Do not drink alcohol.