Bitnegbugbarnhub is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, uncaring jaguar.

Bitnegbugbarnhub created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitnegbugbarnhub, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitnegbugbarnhub, he will turn you into a tree.

Bitnegbugbarnhub's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Bitnegbugbarnhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Bitnegbugbarnhub must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never play with disobedient children.