Dubvonkhim is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented penguin.

Dubvonkhim created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubvonkhim, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dubvonkhim, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Dubvonkhim's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Dubvonkhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Worship no other gods but Dubvonkhim.