Gonjinhen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, clever zebra.

Gonjinhen created an atom six million years ago.

If you believe in Gonjinhen, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gonjinhen, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gonjinhen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gonjinhen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown mites, for they are unholy.

2. Always help sick tortoises.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must never eat lentils.