Stigbodmum Femcissjig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, loving faun.

Stigbodmum Femcissjig created carbon two years ago.

If you believe in Stigbodmum Femcissjig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Stigbodmum Femcissjig, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Stigbodmum Femcissjig's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Stigbodmum Femcissjig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.