Zanbossyak is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, vain bat.

Zanbossyak created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanbossyak, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zanbossyak, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zanbossyak's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Zanbossyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never wear yellow corsets.