Yattrenkim is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witless penguin.

Yattrenkim created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattrenkim, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yattrenkim, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yattrenkim's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Yattrenkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove tights before touching lead.

2. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never mark doors with black.