Zodfudjad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, narcissistic dolphin.

Zodfudjad created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodfudjad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodfudjad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zodfudjad's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zodfudjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Zodfudjad on top of important buildings.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Never feed cucumbers to horses while wearing fawn scarves.

5. Always obey Zodfudjad's priests.