Kantonxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring turtle.

Kantonxuc created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kantonxuc, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kantonxuc, it will jump up and down on your head.

Kantonxuc's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Kantonxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four bats in a large pit.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kantonxuc.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.