Jonlundid is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, wise faun.

Jonlundid created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonlundid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jonlundid, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Jonlundid's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Jonlundid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about spacetime near great tits while wearing brown dresses.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.