Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane raccoon.

Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk created the Large Magellanic Cloud six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Bisspagrat Wegquarttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about enzymes.

2. Hide from white swans for they are unholy.

3. Mites are not to be trusted.

4. Feed all hungry ants.

5. Do not covet oxen.