Missawmon Betbaggab is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful eagle.

Missawmon Betbaggab created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Missawmon Betbaggab, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Missawmon Betbaggab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Missawmon Betbaggab's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Missawmon Betbaggab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Always wear green.

4. Run away if nine snails approach from the west.

5. Never sprint near whales.